How do I get my housemate to consider someone other than himself?
He’s 25, a pot smoker, and doesn’t do dishes before they stink up the kitchen. HELP!
Observing members:
0
Composing members:
0
3 Answers
It is best to to withhold, rather than punish. Explain if he no longer does the dishes, he will not receive some of the other fringe benefits from living with a considerate housemate (paying his bills, ignoring his illegal activity, etc).
Talk to him, directly, about the problems he’s causing you, and see if you can find a middle ground. Don’t address it as his problem and him not considering you, address it as “someone needs to do the dishes when they’re dirty.” Consider the why and not the what—why is he not doing dishes? (Don’t make it personal – “because he’s a lazy bum of a pot smoker” is not the right answer, even if it is factually true.)
Maybe the solution is for you to do all the dishes (because they’re something you care about) while he can take care of another household chore that he cares about more than you do? Maybe the solution is to split the cost of a countertop dishwasher so that dishes are less of a chore?
And maybe the solution is to grit your teeth and start looking for another place to live? Or, if you are in a better position financially than he, maybe the solution is to suggest to him that he should start looking for another place to live, especially if he’s going to engage in illegal activities like drug possession that put your property at risk too?
Answer this question 
This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.
Composing members:
0
