What is the dumbest thing you've ever heard someone at work say or seen them do?

Haha. I wonder what he thought about that answer after he thought about it.

Not sure he was capable of thinking about it… I just assumed the holes in his brain were really huge at that point, and he had absolutely no ability to filter what he said anymore.

My boss today was tying his shoe standing up behind a glass cubicle wall, everything from his abdomen down was blocked.

He was making funny faces and clearly exerting himself.

It totally looked like he was jerkin’ it.

Did I mention I was standing next to his wife?

There is a mystery entity enjoying to take pictures of urinal cakes and potty drops to send to people’s cell phones.

An administrative assistant got a call from a tenant in one of our office buildings. The caller said, “I just wanted to let you know that the toilet is unplugged.” (It was a property management company and they had called earlier because of a plugged toilet.) The administrative assistant went around asking the other people in the office where the outlet was to plug it back in.

I have a female employee who enjoys “finding” other people’s cell phones, going to the restroom at work and taking pictures of her boobs with the cell phones, then putting them in obvious places for them to be found by someone and returned to the owners. The women who “lose” their cell phones always seem to report this, but I haven’t had any complaints from men.

@Judi – I hope she eventually realized what an idiot she was!

I’ve tried to cultivate a dumbness filter so I don’t have to spend much energy pounding my head against the wall. So I couldn’t possibly rank instances and pick out one “dumbest.” But here’s a good one.

I was working for an educational software company, checking the computerized lessons written by the curriculum developers. One had written a multiple-choice question about what causes thunder. I went back to her and pointed out that there was no correct answer among the choices.

“Yes, there is,” she assured me brightly, smiling as if to a six-year-old and pointing to choice c: Thunder happens when two clouds crash into each other.

Yeah… those clouds can be really loud!

A co-worker (We’ll call him Tim) is known to be a complete idiot.
Once he came to work after a vacation just raving about how wonderful his time share was the past week.
“Las Vegas! Perfect time of year! The weather was perfect! I am gonna get another time share for the same week, because that is just the right time!”
I heard him say this, and shook my head.
The next year he bought another time share, this one in Lake Tahoe, for exactly the same week. It was shortly before his vacation time approached that he realized he had two timeshares on the same week 400 miles apart. He couldn’t sell or trade either of them, and ended up abandoning one of them.
Complete dumbass.

i had a woman i worked with offer to “anoint” a coworker, in the bathroom, who was sick, so that “the power of Jesus would make her well.”

she also said “the Devil made her wear a shirt” that accidently popped open in front of someone.

@eponymoushipster: the thing about the shirt… that works, you know

It’s always the Devil making me do that, too!

i blame the devil for all the women who throw themselves at me.~

We just can’t help ourselves without divine intervention (like an exorcism).

at my internship i had a while ago at this web place, they had built their whole site and CMS with ColdFusion…..thats pretty dumb if you ask me. (for anyone that doesnt know, you have to pay Adobe money to use Coldfusion. dumb.)

The last company I worked for was very tight on the use of office supplies. I believe they counted the paperclips that you used, every year and docked you for overuse. Paper and the copier was a biggie. They got tired (rightly so) of people abusing the use of the copier and paper. There was a regular loss of paper that couldn’t be explained, so they finally started watching the tapes (security) to see what was happening. The main copier was downstairs in the mail room, but the culprit didn’t need to be caught on tape..they left the evidence behind. The person was running copies of their church bulletin (Wednesday and Sunday) every week. The church also had a regular attendance of 1,000+ people.

She got caught when she left a copy of the bulletin on the copier…the last line on the bulletin, “Generously printed and donated by Mrs. XXXXXXXX.” Too bad she got fired from her cushy job a month later for stealing.

While somewhat heretical in the minds of many, I just can’t help saying I’m not at all surprised by theft in the name of God.

When the supervisor of the accounting firm I worked for wanted me to work on a contract they had, he moved my desk closer to his, next to a window. The other workers said it wasn’t fair for me to be next to a window, like a supervisor. So the boss had someone come in and put plastic “wall” covers over the window.

I heard a very racist girl at work tell one of our hardest and best workers, who happens to be from Mexico… “Fucking learn ENGLISH!” I almost drop kicked her ass. First of all, he is amazing. Secondly, he is learning English and is doing a kick ass job. So who the hell is she to say such a thing?!

@YARNLADY That’s just ridiculous.

I had a nurse supervisor that was my boss in a psych hospital tell me that the children were starving in Africa because of the sin of Abel. (Adam’s son who bigots think was made black as a curse.)

@Judi Oh nooooo…

^^ these are great ^^

My wife and the Vice President of a college we all worked at were picking up some food for a meeting.

At the market, the VP spots a display that reads “Half a Pie for Only $3.99”.

“That’s so cool” she says, “but what do they do with the other half?”

This one’s second-hand.

My brother was doing some process analysis for a very large company he worked for. His tasks included sitting with various workers in an accounting group, silently observing what they did so as not to interfere, and recording procedures.

He watched Lorraine sort her inbox on more than one occasion: keep, keep, discard, keep, discard… He was perplexed because he was unable to infer a pattern. He could not think of categories to explain what she kept and what she tossed. Discard, discard, discard, keep, keep… It was really bothering him because he was supposed to be good at that sort of thing, and yet he just couldn’t figure out the difference between the keepers and the dumpers. Both categories seemed to be a mix.

Finally he couldn’t stand it any longer. He broke the rule of silent observation and asked her, “How do you know which papers to keep and which to throw away?”

“Simple,” said Lorraine. “If they have a staple in the corner, I keep them. Otherwise I throw them away.”

Oh I have a good one now. A guy at work actually threw a bread board (the thing you get bread on at Outback) at me tonight. Out of anger. It was ridiculous and completely unfounded. It tops all ridiculous shit I’ve seen or heard at work. Ever.