I have a different perspective. My uncle left the family without explanation 20 years ago. My dad was hurt very deeply by this and has tried to stay in touch with him for a long long time. My uncle didn’t even show up when (my grandfather) his dad was dying in the hospital. Didn’t send a card of condolences to his mother (grandma for me) when he passed away. Nothing. If someone called him, he’d hang up. My mom sent my cousins (his children) Christmas gifts for years, only last New Years did we find out that they never got them.
Last November he moved back into town. My grandmother gets a phone call from Sheila (my uncle’s wife) saying they like to meet for coffee. And slowly I begin to hear more and more about them. It was decided that the whole family is going to get together at New Years at a restaurant. I cried a lot, it hurt me to see the people around me hurt.
To fill you in on a little more, I’m young. I’m 18 and I was 18 when I met my mysterious uncle, his wife, and my two cousins and one of their spouses. Generally speaking I am warm hearted and understanding, but I must admit, I was not happy about seeing my uncle. He didn’t seem genuine to me, he refused to shake my hand, he got my name wrong and didn’t listen when I tried to correct him, and turned his back on me when I tried to start even the smallest of talk with him. You are asking if people have ever cut someone out of their life, and I desperately try to understand why some one would want to. I look around and I see a family hurt and torn apart by one uncle who didn’t have the guts to just tell the people in his life what it was that he hated some much about them. I see people who don’t try to fix problems they walk away from them. Is it really worth it to cut some one out just because they said something stupid, just because they think you’re lying about one event, just because a friend’s situation seemed like too much for you to handle?
Maybe there’s some event out there that’s bigger than my young brain can understand, but as far as I am concerned you should never cut anybody out of your life. If your relationship gets rougher than the fires of hell, then go get help. If they want to call you and reconcile, then let them call to reconcile. If they mess up the phone call and you’re still angry with them, then you’re not any worse off. If you’re living together and you can’t stand it, leave. If you’re busy with life, find some one else to help them. Keep your distance I can understand, but to never forgive someone or to never even give the person a chance at forgiveness…seems ridiculous to me.
You’re question is have I ever cut someone out of my life, and the answer is no. I absolutely fail to understand why people hate each other so much that they give up all hope, especially if they are family or good friends. How do you do it? Tell me, I’d be intrigued to know how you can be so cold as to just walk out on the people around you.
sorry for the my passionate outburst, but as I said, I just don’t understand