Milo here: Have I made Gail suffer enough for leaving me, by mistake, in a room with the door closed for 13 hours?

Sounds even to me!

Oh Milo, you poor thing! It doesn’t sound as if Gail did this on purpose and she did spend half the night outside looking for you. Keep in mind, she is not nocturnal and was probably kind of scared out there, all alone, with just a flashlight. I would think that you are more than even steven and maybe you owe her a little cuddle time.

The poor rug! It didn’t do anything to you!

No- I think you should give her the cold shoulder for a bit longer so that she understands the humiliation you endured while being forced to deficate on the expensive rug.

Don’t those drapes look a little too unshredded, Milo?

Milo here; Gail is heartless; no drapes or curtains and few shades in this house. However, the screens make lovely scratching posts. Thanks, AC, for reminding me.

Yes, I agree with @cdwccrn sounds about even to me. And it’s not always just about tit for tat. It’s about communication. You have discussed your issues with the relationship. The ball is in her court, I think.

Milo here: OTOH, when she went by that room about twenty times while calling my name, I refused even to meow. So I have to take some, but not much, responsibility. And I did let her flounder around in some very cobwebby crawl spaces.

Milo- I ask you this: Would she have mistakenly locked another human- type in a room like this? You were right to have not respond when she was calling out to you. You are descended from the Gods- she should have been more careful!

Milo here; When Gail finally went to bed, she left the outside doors open, on the slim chance that I would wander in. I was hoping that a raccoon or the stupid opossum who lives in the dry wall would discover that. No such luck.

@gailcalled (Milo) The first thing that came to my mind was “how did you lose your voice” or “Has she gone deaf?”, but now you say it was your own fault, you forgot to meow. You naughty kitten, you shall have no pie.

@milo My dear sweet Casper cat, who died last month at 21 had a wis.dm account but I never did get him a fluther account. I feel bad about that. I suppose I shouldn’t speak for him, but he was a wise old cat and I believe he would think you very clever to use the internet to remind gailcalled about her responsibilities and her failings, but I think he would also gently remind you that it is not in a cat’s heart to hold a grudge. Well, with some notable exceptions. There are some pretty bitter, angry cats out there. I’ve met them. It think Casper would tell you not to allow yourself to become one of them.

Does she have any nice furniture that you can improve for her with some dexterous claw-work, so she will never forget how you felt? They say that shabby chic is still in these days (but I don’t know where other than our house).

Milo here: Thanks for your support (most of you, that is). I am off to write chapter two of my memoirs as soon as I have had a snack and a nap.

Oops. I seem to have eaten chapter one.

@Milo (you deserve your own profile at this point) You are a very ornery cat. My cats would never. And how could you lower yourself to pooping on the rug? Only 13 hours? You could have slept through it.

@Milo – Don’t listen to that fairy person. Your person is lucky you didn’t poop on her pillow. You are important enough that she should know where you are at all times, ready to do your will in an instant.

My cats made me write this.

Milo here: I’d like to sign up for my own account but Gail is too stupid to know how to do it. And I have such a lovely photo, too.

And I should add, I acted naturally and waited for about 8 hours after my release to poop on the rug. I had ample opportunity both outside and in the litter box, but made a conscious decision. And Darwin is right; I could easily have chosen an even less palatable location.

@milo, Of course you made a conscious decision. Those are the only kinds of decisions cats make. The medium is the message, you know that, we know that. Cats have always been able to “think outside the box”, they invented that kind of thinking.

Man up @ Milo. My dads cat was locked in the attic for a week before he was found. You be nice to Gail or she may get a dog. Then you can have something to complain about :P

@elijah: Gail here; I feel less guilty, I must say, after reading about your dad’s cat. I assume that the attic was filled with mice, but what about water?

@Milo I think you need some time with me and my brood. You are the only cat, and a much too spoiled.

@gailcalled What a little shit. How do you plan on getting him back?

@gailcalled I have no idea how he survived. I don’t know what he ate, or if could even get any water. But he was rushed to the vet and the vet said he was dehydrated but would be ok. He got fluid put under his skin ( or something like that) and was home the next day. One time he hid in the boat and my dad towed it all the way to the lake and found him in there.

@Milo, a small responsibility is yours, you went into the room of your own free will, no? However, how were you to know the door would be locked? Ah, humans are such a funny species—out looking half the night when you were only a whisker away. Glad all is resolved now. I think feelings might be hurt for awhile, but special treats will probably make things better.

Also, you don’t need to look for a cat—remember, “The cat came back…!”

@skfinkel: Whose side are you on, anyway? I am the almost blood-relative. And I simply closed the door rather than locking it. MIlo should have had enough sense to turn the knob. After all, he does have some Finkel genes. (He is looking forward to meeting you when you come east.)

Milo, you ARE a bad cat! When my kittens get into a room and don’t have the sense to get out, they not only meow loudly, but if I don’t let them out, then they bang their paws or their head against the door until we hear the door rumbling and banging. Milo I’m sure you could have done that, too! Poor Gail!! What a night!!!

Oh, @Milo, my dear, you missed your opportunity to be godlike. You must still be very young.

When the door was opened, you could have paused so as not to show any unseemly haste, licked your paws in a most serene fashion, and glided with perfect dignity to the outer door, lifting your chin and your tail ever so slightly with the merest harrumph, and gone outside, leaving Gail in awestruck admiration. Later she would have built a statue of gold for you and placed it on a marble pedestal. You know how she is.

Instead you stooped, or shall I say squatted, to crass revenge. And on the oriental carpet, too. A little obvious, don’t you think? Next time at least go upstairs and use her slipper.

I must tell you that one of your spiritual cousins had a penchant for dashing into open closet doors. She had many a chance to learn her lesson as we missed her later and came back to hear her scratching and crying to be let out, but for some reason the sight of the open door continued to be as powerful and irresistible to her as a posthypnotic suggestion. We had to make it a family rule that we would never leave the house unless both cats were in sight.

But one holiday weekend we must have made one last trip back inside for something as we loaded the car, and we somehow failed to follow the rule. We came home from three nights away (with plenty of food and water left out for the two of them) and missed one. We called and searched and stressed out. Eventually we opened the closet door, and she yawned, stretched, and got sleepily up off a pile of sweaters. She had not even made a single mess in the closet, much less tearing anything up. We felt so sorry and horrible that we made a dreadful fuss over her for weeks and pretty much promised her anything she wanted.

You see, revenge is very sweet, but it’s got nothing on making them feel so guilty that they become your abject slaves. Next time try that.

@milo, an excellent ploy to keep her occupied during your poker game.. The present on the carpet threw her off the scent.

@Milo – There is also The SIlent Meow. It gets them every time.

@Darwin That is such a great book for cat lovers! Have you read The Abandonded? Also by Paul Gallico? If you haven’t I would recommend it.

@lillycoyote I have never read The Abandoned but unfortunately I probably won’t any time soon because it is even more expensive these days than The Silent Meow.

The movie Thomasina (based on another Gallico book) was one of my favorites for a very long time.

@lillycoyote, GA for “Cats have always been able to ‘think outside the box’, they invented that kind of thinking.” Gives a whole new meaning to the box they’re thinking outside.

@Darwin Well, I can’t miss an opportunity to suggest you try your local public library, they might have it. :) and @Jeruba thanks.

@Darwin OMG!!! I just actually looked at the info from Amazon! How can it be that much? I have two copies I think, because I couldn’t find my first copy. This was so long ago. They are both in the attic somewhere. I better track them down. I will be able to pay my electric with them ! I think I have two copies of The Silent Meow too, for the same reason. I’m rich!

Havoc here: Milo, I am completely sympathetic to your plight. Why, just yesterday, my human servant had the gall to stuff me into a plastic box and then into a larger metal box which rumbled and vibrated and seem to hurtle through space in a terrifying manner. She then took me into a new prison-building and then dared to place me behind bars (Me! Behind bars! As if I were some common stray!) I was then rudely and painfully poked and prodded and drugged and suffered the theft of my own blood! I was practically drained dry! (My human servant mouthed some platitudinous pablum about civic duty and saving my fellow felines – as if I care about my fellow felines!) Thankfully, the rumors of rectal probing seem to have been exagerated.

And I had such high hopes for this human – why, even at the occasion of my birth, she toiled to supply my bottle of milk every four hours around the clock. I had thought her better trained than this. Err, care to trade?

(syz here: Havoc donated to the feline blood bank yesterday. Against his will, of course.)

Milo here; A lovely night’s sleep in Gail’s spot on the bed makes for clear AM thinking.

@Jeruba; I did, indeed, saunter out with panache and a touch of Fred Astaire (all I needed were the top hat and white tie).I behaved deviously well for eight hours after my release. That is when I did some releasing of my own. Now that irresisible urge may also have been due to stuffing myself with baby mice.

@Syz: I’ll stick with Gail. She may be simple-minded but with daily reinforcement training, she is slowly learning. And I don’t have to share her with beta and gamma animals. She’s about a delta so I always have the upper paw.

Gail here: I am profoundly relieved to hear the tails about misplaced cats and their ability to survive. When I called my daughter, she said that Milo had disappeared inside her house on several occasiona.

@Havoc: Milo again;
You gave blood? No one warned me about that. It’s bad enough to be hauled 12 miles to the Animal Shelter for my monthly manicure. (I always do make sure I get sick in the carrier case in the car.)

@All: Check out also May Sarton’sThe Fur Person.

@milo I know what you were thinking when you did not respond to her calls. You thought that she ought to sense your presence in the room, didn’t you? Alas, you must remember her inferior human senses. I’m glad you’re back.

My first cat, Phaler, liked to sit in the bathroom window of my second floor apartment. The window opened with an old-fashioned rod so you set the width of the opening, and then turn the large screw to tighten onto the rod and hold the window open that width.

A vicious gust of wind slammed the window and knocked my unfortunate indoor kitty out. When I came home from work and called to her, I knew at once from the curiously empty feel of the apartment that she was somehow gone.

A frantic call to my boyfriend who then clambered around in the blackberry bushes, trash and broken glass that made up the side yard resulted in safe retrieval of the very scared, but unhurt kitty.

My sympathy to Gail, who was properly frightened for your potential plight, Milo.