General Question
Do you believe that swearing at someone in anger is threatening behavior, which would justify calling a sherriff?
OK, we took my son to a beach tonight that had a dock to fish from and a swimming beach which was staffed by lifeguards. On the dock, two other kids came by and started fishing. They appeared to be there with their grandmother who must have been close to 70, and who didn’t seem to be paying any attention to them whatsoever. I thought the kids were playing nice with my kid, but later I found out they were teasing him, making fun of his name, messing with his stuff, etc. My son, 7 (almost 8) was very gracious to these boys who appeared to be probably 10 and 12…he even baited their hook with his own bait, lent them his net, let them play with and even dump out the fish he was collecting in a bucket (none was big enough to keep), etc. We tried to get him to go swimming earlier, but even though these bigger kids were not treating him well, he would not go swimming until they did. I thought the kids were OK, but then they get off the dock and start berating people. For example, an ice cream truck came by twice while they were fishing. Out of earshot of my son, one of them says something like “faggot ass ice cream man, think he gon’ come here when there’s a Dairy Queen ‘cross the street.”
Often my thought when I see this kind of thing is “where is the parent?” Well, the grandmother was sitting at a picnic table, not directly looking at the kids, and she said nothing when the kids were throwing around insults and profanities, but she’d have needed to be stone deaf not to have heard them. So, these kids already had their swim trunks on and just got their shirts off and went to the beach, so I brought my son to the changing house as he was not wearing his suit yet, and he got suited up. Now, after I saw that these kids had no respect for adults, or seemingly other kids based not only on things my son told me they had said, but things I HEARD them say to him, and after an incident when my son was coming off the dock hollering “shut up” loudly at them, which he explained was because they started telling HIM to shut up (of course we told him this was not acceptable even if they HAD started it), and seeing that they had ineffectual and inattentive guardianship at best, I felt a little leery about my son going out swimming with them.
I WAS going to go swimming myself, which would have been fine, but the suit I brought was the wrong size and I couldn’t fit in it. Well, my son has had swimming lessons and is in fact a better swimmer than I. Now, one other factor making me a bit on edge…two weekends ago, we were going to go to this very beach to swim and fish, instead, we went to another beach. As it turned out, that same day, at the beach we were going to go to (the one we went to tonight), a 16 year old boy drowned while lifeguards were on duty. And then, just 3 days after we went to this OTHER beach, a 7 year old boy drowned THERE (where my son DID swim for like 4 hours) while trying to get to a raft beyond the barriers, while lifeguards were on duty. Just before we were going to leave that evening when he did go swimming 2 weeks ago, my own 7 year old swam to that very same raft, and reported to me that he thought he wasn’t going to make it there for a while. So we were a bit nervous even though neither of us believes in “fate” as something you can tempt.
Anyway, with the kids putting us on edge, and knowing what had just happened in that lake not two weeks ago, and my son’s own “close call” in another lake where a kid drowned 3 days later doing EXACTLY what he was doing, we were a “bit” nervous about him swimming in that lake without one of us in the water. But, there were 3 lifeguards on the beach and one in the lifeguard house, my wife and I were watching, my son is a pretty well trained swimmer, and we told him not to go out too deep, and he agreed. So, he went. Basically almost immediately, I went to our car to get a chair, my wife had one and I went to get one to set up next to hers, and as I’m heading back, I hear my kid hollering to the other 2 kids, “let go, let go of my leg, let go of my leg, stop dragging me, let go of my leg, I can’t go out this far, it’s too far, let go of my leeeeeeggggg….” My wife was running up there, yelling at the kids LET HIM GO, RIGHT NOW, and eventually they did. But in that whole time, with my wife hollering, my kid hollering and two kids bigger than my son dragging him out deeper than he wanted to go, against his will, 4 lifeguards…two standing on the beach, one sitting in the big chair and one in the lifeguard building, didn’t do a goddamn thing. I didn’t expect anyone to clear the beach or to strip down and swim out there, but I thought, damnit, at least blow the whistle! At first I was angry at those little bastards, and the whole while the Grandma is sitting out of eyeshot, oblivious to the whole thing.
My wife then goes and gets the grandmother, whose response is “oh dear”. She comes with my wife, and the kids are denying they did anything up and down. The lifeguards are just standing there even still, all the kids were still in the water. My wife talks to the lifeguards, the two on the ground anyway, a man who was the manager, and a woman who did nothing and they basically just talked at her, saying that my son’s head never went under. She was asking, “didn’t you hear him hollering for like 20 or 30 seconds, because I didn’t do anything at first,” and they were just trying to make excuses as I saw it. It pissed me off.
So I walked up there and here was the conversation I had (I was red faced and angry, I had been scared first off and second, I didn’t feel like they were doing their jobs…I could hear the fear in my son’s voice, and the fact that he KEPT saying it and they KEPT ignoring it made me angry…the fact they they were trying to justify their collective inaction to my wife and basically talking AT her and not TO her, really pissed me off).
Me – “Didn’t you hear him hollering, ‘let go of my leg, let go of my leg’?”
Lifeguard – “He didn’t seem to be in any danger, and his head never went under the water, he…”
Me – “But he KEPT yelling for like 20 or 30 seconds until my wife did something about it,”
Managing Lifeguard- “I was doing my job…”
Me- “Well you weren’t doing it very fucking well…”
Managing Lifeguard (to a 4th lifeguard in the building), after blowing the whistle and telling everyone to get out, FINALLY – “Call the Sheriff, he’s threatening me.”
She went in to the building to call the Sheriff, I went there to ask her if she was the manager, she informed me that the Nazi pinhead on the beach was the manager.
I stormed out of there basically saying I was leaving before you Nazi fucks can have me arrested rather than do your jobs. My wife actually started interacting with the other lifeguard who was very nice to her, talked to her and not AT her, but I was too angry at the time to see this, so I kept berating him. My wife even said to the guy, “you can understand what happened here a couple weeks ago is in the back of my mind,” and he said, “not on my watch.” He assured her he knew what he was doing, was well trained, and there’s a fine line between horseplay and someone being in danger, he did not feel my son was in danger and thought he had come with those kids. He was kind and apologetic, and my wife seems abated by his explanation, but I still feel that he dropped the ball along with the rest of them.
Anyway, for what it’s worth, I was 10 feet away from the lifeguard when I swore at him, he was on the sand beach and I was on an elevated grass slope, plus I’m a fat guy, this guy is a trained lifeguard with an athletic build, not like I could have threatened this guy if I’d wanted to, nor could I have caught him if I DID intend him bodily harm…I was using WORDS…angry WORDS, but nothing but…I didn’t come at him, I didn’t get in his face, I didn’t raise my fists to him, just said that one thing. And last time I checked, telling someone, “you’re not doing your job very fucking well,” is not the same as telling someone “I’m going to fucking choke you”. This other pissant lifeguard said later that they understood we were leaving and didn’t feel safe, and that they had called the police back and told them not to come, but that they regard profanity as “threatening behavior” per their regulations. So apparently the profanity those kids were using didn’t count for SOME reason, not really sure what this regulation is, or if it indeed exists or if someone was just practicing a bit of CYA.
I’m just curious, what do you think? Does an irate father on the beach who throws out one foul word after seeing two kids try to pull his son under the water and seeing 3 full grown lifeguards do dick about it justify calling the cops, or was I dealing with a facist little prick who hides behind his little lifeguard uniform to feel like a man, and is willing to pull rank to deflect blame for his own stupid mistakes?
Clearly I overreacted, to what degree do you think I did so? Do you think it’s proper protocol to wait until a kid’s head goes under to blow a whistle? Does the fact that they thought the 3 kids were together (because their guardian was nowhere by) make it any more acceptable? Should they be a bit more cautious in light of what happened there recently? Should it be acceptable anywhere in the United States for someone to call the Sheriff on someone for using the “F” word? Doesn’t the fact that there was only ONE OTHER kid in the water, making the kid to lifeguard ration 1:1 make their inaction all the more appalling. Am I wrong for being so fucking pissed off that I’d love to rip that lifeguard’s head off and shit down his neck?
Give me some perspective before I scream. I promise not to bite your head off if you tell me I was 100% wrong and they were 100% right, I just would appreciate the reason behind your reasoning. Like if you’ve been a lifeguard or know a lifeguard and that is just part of the “lifeguard code” to call the cops if someone swears at them, and that it’s also proper protocol to wait until a kid’s head goes under before you act, then if you know that to be 100% true, fine…I just want to know, because if that’s really the case, I’m not sure I want to take my kid swimming in any more lakes this summer, ESPECIALLY not that one. I’m also wondering if there is someone you think I could, or should call to report their behavior if you think it’s wrong, and how I’d go about finding the right person(s). Thanks.
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