Parents: What did your parents/grandparents always say?

MOM:

“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they will freeze that way” – I’d tell my son when he doesn’t stop making faces

“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident” – this one I now tell my husband

^___^

I told you so!

My Dad gave me a classic ‘birds and the bees’ lesson. It consisted of a single sentence. It was, and I quote: Keep your rocket in your pocket until you get married. I never had kids, so I never had to repeat such a lame and ignorant phrase.

Grandmother: “Edward! Your like a cat on a hot tin roof!”

“Some day your kids will do to YOU what you do to ME!”

“You won’t melt” – said when I would call and ask for a lift home because it was raining. I hated the callousness of it.

My Grandpa used to say “Holy O’Mucwah! ” as an expression.

I use it to this day and have no idea what it means.

I hope it isn’t a slur.

TO GOOGLE!

My Grandmother (a petite and gracious and quiet Catholic) once was so angry I heard her say “He has his head so far up his a$$ he is wearing a fur collar!”

If course I was shocked that this came from a lady! ~

My grandma used to say, “do what you want to do while you can do it.”

My grandmother used to say, “Get me the whiskey and fix your own damn dinner.” However, I don’t say it to my kids because I don’t drink.

Grandparents (both of them) and my Dad: “Figure it out, take your time. You’ll appreciate it more than if I show you.”

That was code for, “I haven’t got a clue!” Dad admitted that, after I finished grad school.

Godammit boy! Get off of that babysitter!

@Blondesjon – So…your behavior has been a life-long thing, huh? ;~)

@cak . . .I should have never been allowed to watch Risky Business.

@Blondesjon Ah…the training movie for adolescent boys of the 80’s.

My grandmother always used to tell me never swim in the lake with boys because I’d end up pregnant. I was 6 and knew how people got pregnant and it wasn’t by swimming in a lake. LOL

@meadowmuffinbluez gotta love grandmothers! Funny!

If swimming in the lake with boys can get you pregnant, what would swimming in the ocean do?? :-)

@janbb octomom…part 2!

@cak Kind of where my mind was going,too.

@janbb :)

My grandpa used make an imaginary strawberry shortcake, he would say, “first you take the cake,” he would be miming with his hands like he was building the cake, “then a layer of whipped cream, then strawberries, then another layer of cake, more whipped cream, more strawberries,” then he would pause, “and then you throw it all away.” Used to make my sister and I giggle. I guess he wanted cake, but couldn’t have it on his diet.

LOL! I swear my grandmother was insane. She couldn’t handle it if we were having fun…she was forever telling us stupid stuff just to scre us out of having fun. She’d rather we’d go to church where we could be saved…LOL

My grandfather always said to me. ” live each day as if someone is looking over your shoulder.” And I have and so have my children…

My grandpa convinced us all they had that special chemical in the pool that would leave a trail of purple fog if we peed. I didn’t find out till I was like 25 that is was a scam.

My dad would say “Little Girl, you need to understand the value of a dollar”. He is now severely in debt with a high paying job, living in someone’s basement. Thanks for the advice Dad!!

Pull my finger!

Whenever we couldn’t find something Dad would say:
“If it was up your nose you’d know!” Completely useless in the effort to find the remote control…and yet as an adult I find myself using the phrase a lot. He has a bizarre sense of humor I just didn’t get till older…
And Mom would always respond to “What?” with “Chicken Butt, 10 cents a cut….want some?” Haven’t used that one yet, but I did find a children’s book entitled Chicken Butt….gave it to Mom for Mother’s day to read to her granddaughter someday.

@Awooble Cute story. Welcome to Fluther. lurve.

I can remember calling to my mother saying mommy…..mommy….mommy…mommy….waiting for her to respond and she would always say “mommy is on vacation”.

@notabridesmaid LOL! My mom on mothers day and her birthdaym which unfortunately for her is sometimes the same day, would say, “today is mommy’s day, don’t ask me for anything, don’t raise your voices, leave me alone all day.”

My grandfather when I would beg him for a cup of his coffee would tell me that little girls can’t drink coffee because it puts hair on your chest. I tried it anyway and would daily inspect for hair to grow & of course it didn’t thank goodness. LOL

Dad “I’ll beat ya sevr’ly about the head a shoulders!”
Gramma “If at first you don’t succeed…keep on a suckin’ till ya do suck a seed!”
Did I mention they were from Texas?? LOL!

my grandma would always say: “si pero no” which means yes but no and it use to piss me off soooo much.

Stinginess is a disease. Never be stingy.

If you ask my grandmother how she’s doing she’ll respond in Spanish “pues zangas y marangas” idk what that means but it’s funny.
My dad once asked me ” well who’s ass hole did you climb out of today?”

“You need to put alittle meat on your bones”

Grandma…What comes out of the mouth isn’t always what’s in the heart.

Para cada perro hay una meirda.
For ever dog there is a turd.
(meaning that no matter how bad you may think you are there is a turd with your name on it. LOL)

My grandma always said “you can’t put an old head on young shoulders.” Meaning that she could give us the benefit of her life experiences but 9 time out of 10 we still had to go out and find out for ourselves.

@Awooble That reminded me of what my Dad would say if we couldn’t find something – he would say, “you couldn’t find your ass with both hands, a map and a flashlight.”

My grandfather would leave, he used to say “Alright, children! Be good, and if you can’t be good, be sanitary.”
It was years before I realized what he was saying.