- I got a speeding ticket for going 20mph above the limit. I got nothing for trying to evade the patrol unit. And thank God they didn’t bother to test my blood for alcohol.
- Simple warnings for speeding after I left a restaurant (where I had been drinking a lot). That happened twice.
- I got stopped twice at police roadblocks after leaving nightclubs, on the local police’s favorite nights to catch drunk drivers: saturdays at 4 am. Each time I had been drinking at least 5 times the max amount of alcohol tolerated.
The first time, my passenger suggested a breathing technique to trick the alcotest kit. I passed.
The second time I didn’t have much time, maybe only 5 minutes to prepare and it didn’t work so I put on a show and managed to confuse the 2 cops. They dismissed the test and let me go.
- I got many big breaks over the years (the cop made an inadvertent mistake that invalidated the ticket, or they cut the penalty in 2), simply because I was affable, friendly, respectful, basically a good sport being busted right after a foul mouthed, whiney, sore loser.
- The only one incident that really scared me to death happened as I was driving to my third nightclub at 2 am. I slowed down at a stop sign, carefully ran two red lights, speeded, spun my rear wheels just once, for fun, and naturally I had been drinking an indecent amount of alcohol since early evening.
Turns out 2 cops in civilian clothes were behind me the whole time and just waited for me to stop the car to introduce themselves. We had a interminable conversation and they just let me go.
I could be quite the Cop Whisperer but, realistically, I think they just wanted to have a little fun at my expense. They probably took me for a rich daddy’s boy who wouldn’t even get a slap on the wrist anyway.
- More recently, I managed to save my license after being flashed too many times by unmanned radars in a short period of time. I stood to lose more points than I had. At the time I had to drive long distances twice a week, like 500 miles and back over the weekend. I hated to spend too much time on the road so I always tried to outrun boredom. Here’s the kicker: 2 decades ago I was flashed by a photoradar not even 3 months after I got my license which meant I could lose it and have to pass the tests again. I bought a How To book and exploited the legal loopholes revealed in it. Something like 15 years later these very same loopholes saved my license again, big time.
After this I realized I had been way too lucky and I needed to stop pushing it. Now, no matter how much I hate driving like a geezer I stick to just the limit before a serious penalty.