What ideas or ideals about the world/people did you have to leave behind in the course of growing up?

The main one, which was a big shock to me, and which took more than one hard lesson, is that life and the world are not fair.

That really outraged my sense of justice.

Childhood
• All police are there to help you.
• All Catholic priests are there to help you.
• If you work hard enough you can be anything you want to be.
• Mom and Dad love you unconditionally and will always be there for you.
• Most people mean well. The rest are the ‘bad guys’.

Adulthood
• Most police are there to help. The rest are lazy and/or corrupt.
• Some Catholic priests are there to help. The majority are bitter, disillusioned and/or dangerous.
• Yes, so long as you have financial and/or emotional support from your family and a heaping helping of luck. Otherwise you have to drive yourself into the ground just to succeed at plan ‘B’ (or is that ‘D’?)
• There is no such thing as ‘unconditional’ and Mom and Dad are there for you so long as it fits their needs and/or makes them look good to their friends/family. It’s even questionable that at least one of them loves you.
• Most people have a selfish agenda and we are often the ‘bad guys’.

Some people can actually say they love someone or something and not mean it.

The wold wasn’t made of bubblegum and other sweets. D:

you can’t become a doctor, a lawyer or a president just by reading some books…
and the world ain’t just good enough…

People rarely do what they know is right.

That 7-UP is moral and Coke is amoral! (No, seriously, I had this when I was about 11.)

As a child:

I thought all the people I was related to were good and decent.

When I was younger, I believed that people who were different than I was were evil and out to hurt me.

I believed that God is love, and that the Devil makes bad things happen.

I believed that love makes the world go ‘round.

And then I became an adult, and found out:

The only person you can trust unconditionally is yourself, and even then, you may screw yourself over without even trying. Being irrational is all too easy.

I discovered that family will fuck you over even faster than strangers.

I discovered that just because someone is a different color, speaks a different language, or is attracted to the same gender, that doesn’t make them bad. Some of my best friends fit in those categories.

I found out that God and the anti-hero the Devil are make-believe entities created by superstitious people to describe the unknown.

And I found out that love doesn’t make the world go round, gravitational influences from our solar system do.

If there’s one thing that I’ve learned (and am still learning), it’s that when you really think about it, it’s very hard to blame a person for anything. There are always so many factors involved in decision-making, so many things which might have even caused the situation in the first place, so many personal quirks which, when put into play with another person’s quirks, don’t add up well at all, that at the end, you just end up with a big mess which has no real identifiable cause. Catalysts, sure… But as to a prime target/cause? Nooooo…...

I’ve also learned that most people don’t go this far in their thinking, most probably because it makes living so much more difficult, knowing that there’s nobody else to blame. And this can be a source of much irritation and anger, which is why I learned that I don’t like to even think about it.

When I was really little I thought everyone would be taken care of, one way or another. I thought it was impossible that people could literally starve to death or not be able to afford medicine while other people drove expensive cars and lived in giant mansions.

I guess part of me still wants to believe we can get there.

Adults aren’t always right, nor do they always tell the truth.

Just because someone speaks forcefully and passionately about something doesn’t make what they’re saying the truth.

No matter what, question and learn for yourself.

Other people do not know you better than you know yourself, and anyone who tells you that they do has their own agenda they’re trying to work through you.

All people who smoke (ever), have a drink (ever), or use swear words (ever) are “bad”.

Teachers, and sometimes parents, know everything about the way the world works.

At some point while growing up, there is a magical transformation from “kid” to “adult” that is obvious and well-defined.

Once you pass this magical transformation, you instantly know how to do basic things like shop for food, make repairs to your house, change your car’s tires, etc.

@cprevite ”• There is no such thing as ‘unconditional’ and Mom and Dad are there for you so long as it fits their needs and/or makes them look good to their friends/family. It’s even questionable that at least one of them loves you.”

perhaps for you. But I know for a fact that my mother would gladly do anything, no matter what, for me or my brothers. And it truly does sadden me that you never had a chance to experience that kind of love.

@ABoyNamedBoobs03: ”perhaps for you.”

Well certainly. Sorry if it seemed I was speaking for everyone’s experience.
And don’t feel too bad. I can experience that kind of love – from the other side of the fence in raising my daughter.

That magicians actually can NOT pull a rabbit out of a hat.

@SirBailey and neither can Bullwinkle the Moose it seems.

Things just don’t happen because you become an adult.

@evelyns_pet_zebra , he can’t?!!! Now I need therapy!!!

That food didn’t magically just appear in the refrigerator, that clean laundry didn’t magically just appear in the closet and the house didn’t magically clean itself.

Childhood
Life is cruel.
World peace is possible and the world would be better if it occurred.
It’s okay to disrespect (or even hate) someone if they’ve done something bad.
People are scary.
Cream soda is some manner of bizarre satanic drink.

Adulthood(ish)
Life is subjective.
World peace is not possible for any extended period of time and the world is better because of such.
If I disrespect someone, regardless of what they did, I am as (if not more) pathetic than I believe them to be.
People are fascinating and generally pretty cool.
Cream soda rules.

Hee!

@cprevite The one about the police really resonated for me too.

That grown ups ( Particularly those in charge ) know what they are doing.

@Marina: I know some people that argue that point, and perhaps it’s a regional thing – but most police in my neighborhood had a little something going on, on the side.

I was shocked when I first saw this in action at about fifteen.

In some ways I feel more idealistic as an adult. As I got older and have had some devastating and complicated issues in my life I am heartened by the loving and supportive ways many of my friends and family have been there for me. This was something I did not feel when I was younger, even if it might have been there. I have had strangers help me with no reward for themselves, my husband is my best friend (and I had witnessed my parents fight a lot and not be always too thrilled with each other, so I thought that was normal for couples), I have girlfriends from school who are always there for me, even if I am saying the same thing for the 10th time. Even on Fluther I have seen people go out of there way to provide information and show empathy for people who might be distraught.

I guess the trick is to surround yourself with people who possess the qualities that will enhance your life, and dump the rest.

@aprilsimnel what you said about “Other people do not know you better than you know yourself, and anyone who tells you that they do has their own agenda they’re trying to work through you.” I think that is so important, I am going to incorporate that into my psyche, good lesson.

@JLeslie – Glad to help. I have just started to understand this on an emotional level, myself.

Political Liberaism.

Exactly what @Marina said. I honestly could not have said it better.

I thought that adults had all the answers.

Adults don’t know shit.