How should I deal with a man who is pursuing me after I've told him not to?"?

There was flirting but you was in a loving relationship , so you gave him your number anyway…...

Tell him to fuck off , set your partner on him if that doesn’t work get a restraining order .

We had a class together and we were on the same team, I gave him my number for a school related purpose. Thanks!

Now that you have his number, you should block it from your phone.

Send him a text stating: “Perhaps I was not clear in our previous conversations, but I request that you no longer contact me. I am committed to my boyfriend, (insert name) and I have made him aware of this situation. This is my last communication with you. Thank you for respecting my wishes.”

Then eMail yourself the text (or forward it to your bf) for documentation.

Also, if you haven’t already, you need to explain all this to your bf.

That should do it. However, if he persists, I would involve the police with the text as evidence.

Do not contact him again after that. Best if luck.

I’d suggest following cprevite’s advice, there is no guy that wouldn’t be able to understand that. He’d be crazy to pursue this situation any further.

Lets hope he isn’t crazy…

Do exactly what @cprevite recommended and do it soon. See ya….wtf (my initials)

You’re just going to have to be brutally honest with him.

“Mr. ______, I understand that you have an unhealthy obsession with me and your behavior is currently bordering on stalking which just happens to be illegal. My first intervention to end your activities will be to have my boyfriend take his Louisville Slugger to both of your kneecaps. If that doesn’t work, I’m going to be forced to pay someone to castrate you with a blunt object in front of your girlfriend. As a last resort, I will be forced to call the police which will probably be redundant at that point because you’ll be too injured to be prosecuted. In short, completely cease and desist from contacting me in the future if you want to remain walking upright and you want to keep enjoying your manhood. Have a nice day.”

Or you can do just what @cprevite has said as that will probably work also. =)

Thanks guys!! Lets see how this works out, in the meantime, he hasn’t contacted me.. we’ll see if he dares to after I tell him the things that you told me.

@Bluefreedom Your suggestion is funny to read, but it would be very effective, I’d think.

@May2689: Good luck. Let us know how it goes.

If you can, save any phone messages and text messages he has sent you. Tell him to stay away from you or you will involve law enforcement.

You might also consider changing your phone number. Does he know where you live?

I am sorry you are going through this.

First of all, what does “upsted” mean?
Well anyway, I’ve never had a stalker, but I’ve had a lot of experience with over-exited men who keep pursuing me despite obvious signs that I’m completely uninterested in them. Especially in this country. Sigh. What has worked for me, is to be downright rude to them. The phrases “Leave me alone” and “go away” said really angrily and with the same look you might make when you see a big pile of dog poo right in front of you on the sidewalk. Then physically cutting off their means of communicating with you, ie. walking away, blocking their phone number, and anything else you can do. If you have to be in the same room, not making eye-contact.

@La_chica_gomela : sorry, I think its just a typo, i meant to say upset.
I moving next month, so I’m really hoping for things to get better.
My phone company cant change my phone number untl November, because thats when my contract with this phone number expires. I already told the security guard in my building to call the cops immediately if he ever shows up.

@May2689: Oh, sorry, I wasn’t trying to be a dick, it was just that you typed it twice, I thought…anyway.
There’s a law that if someone is harassing you, and you tell your phone company, they have to let you change it ASAP. I think they often charge a $5 or so fee though.

If he’s still being that persistent, you can change your cell number.
Pain in the backside? Maybe, but less of a pain that having a stalker.

If any of your friends or classmates are friends or associate with this person, do not give them your new number. Stalkers are experts at networking.

I would avoid saying anything to him ever again. He wants contact with you even if it’s negative contact. Don’t give him what he wants because that only reinforces his behavior.

Two words: Restraining Order.

I’d echo what @cprevite says.

One thing I wonder about, though, is that you say that you made it perfectly clear that you’re not interested, and yet he still pursues you. I wonder why, if it’s perfectly clear, he is pursuing you. Make sure that when you communicate with him, you’re straightforward; a nervous giggle when you’re telling him you’re in love with your boyfriend might indicate to him that you’re willing to cheat.

What if you just said. “Look, I have a history with a stalker, and I am overly sensitive about some things. I know you’re a good guy and all, but you’re calling me is making me really uncomfortable. Can you please back off?”
If that doesn’t work, have your boyfriend kick his ass ~

Thank you for all your answers, they are very supportive!