Why is the youngest treated like the least important?

You only feel like this because of your age, my little one. When I was your age, my sisters and mom chased me out of the kitchen every time they were cooking. I grew up not knowing how to cook at all! I think as parents we tend to pay more attention to the eldest, knowing that our years with them at home are numbered. Your time will come when you’re the only one left at home.

I’m 14 too, but I just get over protected by them, I actually do treat my sisters like that. I don’t know why, I just do it, and sometimes I realize what I do and then feel bad about it.

Do you behave like a child? If you want to be treated like an adult member of the family, you should act like it. If you think you’re acting maturely and still being treated like you’re not important, then speak up and calmly tell your family how their actions make you feel.

My little (15 yo) sister is constantly calling me to tell me what new injustice has been done to her by my parents and our brother (who’s 19). She says the same thing as you do – it feel like it’s our mom and (step)dad, me and our brother, and her, alone. (We also have three siblings who are much younger than her (6, 8 and 9) and she feels like they’re their own little group, too.)

It’s hard to avoid feeling isolated in that situation. Try to find something that you and your sister both like to do, and do it alone together. This could be as simple as watching a TV show you both really enjoy (funny, but my sister and I became MUCH closer when we started watching Buffy the Vampire slayer together when I come home for holidays!). Try to do the same with your brother, if possible. (Although it seems like maybe staying out from under his feet might be a better tactic right now! If you get closer to your sis she might start to defend you, too.)

And listen to @Likeradar‘s advice. Ask your mom if she will show you how to bake cookies, or let you help with dinner. You get to spend time with her, and also show her that you’re responsible and capable. In time they’ll learn that you’re not a baby anymore (although, speaking as an older sibling, that can be hard!) and in time they’ll begin to include you in what they consider to be the “adult” decisions.

You’re just overreacting.

I agree, MrGeneVan. I still say this is a typical reaction for a 14-year-old. I’m sure Maddison is not CONSTANTLY treated as a baby and ALWAYS picked on. It is typical at this age to FEEL picked on all the time. While we sit and debate this, Maddison has probably already forgotten it and gone on to other things. :)

That’s a very painful feeling. I am sure it doesn’t help you to hear that it is the age that you are, but that is part of it.

Family dynamics are hard to buck, and you have been cast as the baby of the family. That does have some good parts. The youngest is usually adored by everybody even if not always taken seriously.

To get your family to act differently toward you, you have to act differently toward them. So, don’t complain about being ignored or whatever you usually do.

I think fireinthepriory’s idea to interact with your family members one on one is great. I went through a period when that is the only way i would see my family exactly so no one could slip into those old roles.

In the case of the family vacation, wait until later, catch your Mom or Dad alone and ask, “So where did you guys decide we’re going this year?” When they tell you, surprise them by reacting in a way you usually wouldn’t. If it’s camping at the lake and you normally hate that because there’s no mall, say something like, “Well, camping is not my favorite, as you know, but it will give me time to catch up on some reading I am supposed to do for school. If we go camping this year, can I suggest some places to go next summer?”

It will take time and patience on your part. Before you speak about something try to think about it from your folks’ or the family’s viewpoint rather than just the effect it will have on you.

Before too long, they will take you much more seriously and listen to your input.

Wow, Marina. Great response but you are talking about some really mature responses from a very immature young lady. I’m sure if she responded this way, her parents would rush her to the emergency room to see if she’s okay. Ha-ha. However, you are right in saying that if she acts more mature, she will be treated as a more mature person.