How do you get over a breakup when you feel so demotivated?

I cry first. Then I think about how much I still have in my life. I think about how fortunate I still am to be alive, to have friends, to have family. I think about how fortunate I am to even have my five senses, to be able to partake in the enjoyment of life when so many others can’t.

I think about God, though it hurts, though it’s easy to get angry at Him.

Then I pick myself up, no matter how painful it is. Because I have to move on. Because not moving on is the worst thing I could do.

It hurts. I know it does.

But you need to move on, or else you’ll just be wasting your life away. And that’s the thing you’ll probably regret the most.

Another topic I answered in

This is a time for you to love yourself. Do things you like, buy yourself something you’ll enjoy. All the time you wasted on him, make it up to yourself. If you are done with him, then it’s all about you. Be you, enjoy you, love you.

I’m sorry. :(

Give yourself time to wallow and cry and be miserable for a little while. It’s painful, and pretending it isn’t won’t help you.

I have depression too. Things that help me after a hard breakup include wallowing for a few days, then lots and lots of exercise. Run, swim, bike, beat the crap out of a punching bag until you’re exhausted. It’s great for stress, bad moods, and for helping you really sleep at night. I know you’re not feeling motivated, but put on your sneakers and tell yourself you’re just gonna shuffle around the block. Once you’re out there it might get easier.

Do you have a parent or a close friend who can listen you to cry over coffee or on the phone for a while?

Another thing that helps me a little when I feel like my heart is broken is to remind myself that there will be the right relationship one day, and the end of this one only means I still have the right one to look forward to.

Baby steps. Buy a news paper or look up apartments on Craig’s list. Don’t worry about moving your furniture yet, just start the searching. Once you have looked through the listings, make a list of the places you will call back. One step at a time. Don’t let the big picture overwhelm you.

Good question. After 9 months, I am just starting to come out of the haze.

You can not let this beat you. Like @Judi says, it’s all about the small steps. Enlist your friends as well. This is the moment they gear up for, whether it’s going to look at places with you, or wrapping all your dishes, or engaging in a little retail therapy (my personal favorite). Remember, you are NOT alone in this. We’re pulling for you.

Thanks all for your comments. It’s so hard – it’s been 2 months nearly since he moved out and I’m still calling my mum every few days crying.

I’ve been in love before and split up but it was never like this. I think it’s so hard because we still love each other (he split with me due to some arguments and incompatabilities, but mainly because he wants kids and I don’t). All the advice also says not to be in contact, but that would be too hard for me right now.

I wish I had more friends where I live, but I don’t really, so my poor mum gets most of the crying. It still feels unbearable – I have even got on the subway to work before now and cried my eyes out, so the thought of trying to run around the block is overwheming!

Especially since my anxiety has skyrocketed since he left – I have not had the easiest life and he made me feel safe :(

Cry, go to friends for comfort and a distraction (they’ll be there to help you through it without losing your head), really, if you can push yourself – keep busy. And, time truly does help.

I was there about 7 months ago. I know it’s a bitch.

When the world feels like it’s against me or crumbling, I work more because it makes me feel important, essential, keeps me busy and is good for my pocketbook.

Lean on good friends. If you’ve let some of your old friendships languish while in the relationship try to reconnect with old friends or make new ones. You still need people in your life, and it’s a lot funner to go to a movie with a friend than alone. Perhaps you’ll feel more like doing more things if you had friends to do them with. My friends are important to me and they’ve helped me through so much.

It will take time. A year is pretty common.

Just go easy on yourself as much as possible and give yourself plenty of time to feel exactly how you feel. Nothing is as important as allowing time to heal—so don’t stress about the other things too much, it’ll all work out eventually.