Does this mean we're soul mates?

I guess you’ll never really know until you’re “officially” in a relationship with her. You could just be stuck with how you felt for her when you were 20…

What I don’t understand though is that if you both have special feelings and mutually think that you belong together, then why don’t you just both free yourselves from other relationships and be together? It could spare everyone the heartaches.

This situation sounds somewhat familiar to what happened in the plot of the movie Serendipity (minus the engagements and weddings).

I really don’t know if everything going on between you two makes you both soulmates but it certainly seems to demonstrate an attraction and compatibility regarding similar things. All the hits and misses over the months must be frustrating and I can only imagine how hard that must be. You need to determine if she is definitely seeing someone else and if not, you should make a concerted effort to talk with her, discuss your feelings together, and explore the possibilities of beginning a solid relationship that’s going to be a lasting and meaningful one.

If either one of you is in a relationship, it’s not very realistic to expect the other one to wait around indefinitely expecting the relationship to go sour so that you two can get together. Along those same lines, it’s not a good idea to intervene in a relationship in hopes of a causing a breakup so that you can both be together. You even broke off a relationship because your feelings were so strong for her. If she harbors the same feelings for you, she’s going to have make the hard choices (on her own and without interference) regarding her current relationship (if she is in one) whether she wants to break it off and be with you.

I hope this situation works out the way you want it to and I wish you the best of luck for a positive outcome.

We’re all soulmates.

If she knows how you feel, but chooses to be involved with other people, then she doesn’t feel the same way about you. I found this description somewhere, and it would seem to be appropriate to this question:

“In Persian culture, there are four levels of friendship each relating to a degree in closeness and intimacy: Aashenaa (to know someone casually), Doost (a close friend), Rafeegh (your best friend) and Yaar (your inseparable lover). However, these levels are independent of the type of physical connection you have with someone. These degrees of closeness explain your deep soul connection with another being; your spouse, therefore, may only be your Aashenaa, or you may have a perfect platonic relationship with a Yaar.”

You could take more ownership of the relationship, and not rely on the fates to throw you together. It could just be that this person provides an enjoyable fantasy for you to think about.

You’ve pretty much answered your own question. Is she worth waiting for, instead of jumping into another relationship?

If you have this special connection you both feel, it seems inexplicable to me that you somehow never get into a romantic relationship.

Your drifting and not being definite does not fit with soul mates.

If she is your soul mate, what are you waiting for? Go tell her. If she is dating someone else, kiss her and tell if she feels the way you do, she needs to break it off with the other guy.

If you both just wait around, you are likely due for a lifetime of encounters leading nowhere.

I agree with @Marina, if you think she’s the one, and she feels the same about you, whats the problem? Step up, tell her how you feel, that she’s your other half and you can’t stand it anymore. If she really feels the same way, she’ll jump at this chance.

The best of luck to you.

It’s obvious that there’s
more to this than just friendship. I would probably try to surprise her in a very special way, showing her that you are the one from her. At this point, sharpen your sweet skills and show her that she means a lot to you… Sometimes, you need to hold the bull by the horn and do the first steps.

Good luck!

Jump in and test the waters. No one can tell you the pool is to your liking until you get your feet wet. That is the best answer I can give you.

my wife of twenty plus years is my soul mate, for lack of a better word, but we don’t have EVERYTHING in common. It’s the differences that make it interesting. If we had everything in common, then that would be like dating myself, a truly narcissist (and ultimately) boring relationship.

I think @Marina is right,just kiss her and tell if she has the same feelings for you:)

Are you still living in different towns?
If you really feel this way, pack up and move there and don’t get into another relationship until she is single and has had a chance to decide if you are the one she wants.

Either way, you win as long as you can accept her choice. Either you will be close to a good friend or you will be preparing for a long relationship.

Sometimes these things don’t work out though. Just take that as a sign that you found someone who resonated inside you and keep looking for that feeling with others. I felt this way a few times but once I found the right one there was no hesitation on either side.