Is anyone in your family gay/bi/lesbian ?

My uncle is gay. He and his partner live in London.
I know my grandmother took is pretty hard when she first found out that her son was gay, but now things are good.
No one in the family can imagine what it would be like without his partner in the family. He’s just another one of us (even though he sticks out as the white British guy in a Chinese family).

I have a gay uncle, he’s my moms cousin. We berly see him but we do see him we dont judge.
It’s his life and we don’t have a say in what he should do or shouldn’t do.

I do not have any gay bio relatives. But my best friend and his partner come to all of my holiday meals with my family, so I consider them to be gay family members, especially through my children’s eyes.

I have a lesbian cousin but that’s about it I think

i am lesbian or as i like to be called gay and no one in my family is..just me

they have found out themselves and my mother was upset and my father too..i never really came out on my own, it was more of an assuming, and when asked i surely didn’t deny it….it was a huge mess..i never understood why they didn’t accept me and since we haven’t talked about it…

i’m too not sure how to bring it up either..maybe we can work together on this? i’ll be glad to discuss more

It’s crazy, I have a lot of cousins on both my mothers and fathers side, and none that I know of are gay. Maybe one, but I’ve never heard anything about it, it was just an assumption. I also have no gay Aunts or Uncles. Sucky too since they’d be accepted no matter who they loved in my family.

Oh, but my grandmothers second husband had 8 kids and 4 of them were gay…two boys and two girls. Definitely in those genes.

My youngest male biological cousin is openly gay. I think the aunt who raised me is at least bi (she’s done and said some curious things over the years), but is deep, deep, deep in the fundy Pentecostal closet. It’s a small fam.

In my chosen family, one of my nephews is gay, though I think he’s the only one who’s out, and one of my nieces is a lesbian.

One of my cousins is a lesbian.

also, my best friend who I have always considered family is a lesbian too, does she count???

I have a gay cousin. He’s actually my mother’s cousin… so my second cousin. His name is Ruben and he’s a hair stylist in Los Angeles. He has been with the same partner since I was born (and probably a bit before that).

I wasn’t born when he came out. I’ve always only known him as cousin Ruben.

Not that I know of.

What’s up with cousins? They all seem to be gay, though they are the most likely, most people have more cousins than any other type of relative, and unlike grandparents and parents gays and lesbians are normally less likely to have children, maybe.
Still not many bisexual people out there, I’m bisexual BTW.

No one except me that I know of. :(

My sister is bi, my brother-in-law is gay. If you think they will accept you, go ahead and tell. My husband’s brother came out to ME first when he was almost 40! I have two very close friends who have always thought one of their children was gay. When their children finally told them (ages 17 and 20) I think things got much easier, because things weren’t hidden. But my friends all along let their kids know that they were fine with gay people.

That I know of, at least three.

@allansmithee I would class myself as bicurious if that counts. I have had “experiences” wirth other women but have never loved anoother woman and have been in a straight relationship for the past three years. Because of this I don’t know if I am bisexual or just curious. I am certainly attracted to females though.

No one except me that I know of

yep
and guess what?
there are straight people too

Just me (bisexual)

still thinking…
No.
I’ll come back if I remember whose gay from my family

I’m pretty gay, my uncle is gay (married to a dude!) and I think my little brother is probably gay or trans. My uncle is not a biological uncle, he’s my mom’s best friend, and my little brother is adopted, too. Don’t know if any other biological relatives are queer, but it doesn’t really matter to me. I honestly hadn’t thought about it before this question. :)

No…none in my family.

Nope

Nope, no Aunts, Uncles, cousins, sisters, brothers, nieces, nephews, sons or grandsons. No one I can think of.

I think just me, although, my Dad has a second cousin that we assume is a lesbian. No one really talks about her, though (it’s all <hush hush>). Ah, the joys of growing up in a strict Catholic family.

My cousin is gay and everyone (most) are quite accepting of him. There are those few who are hard headed a-holes that can’t get past it.

My stepdaughter is gay and married. I wen to her very beautiful ceremony last year. She is my favorite, so hard working, industrious, polite, thoughtful..and happens to be gay..they are not connected and of no more than a remark of what she is, not who she is, but where her mind has peace.

I only have one cousin who’s out. Not sure how many people are here in the closet with me; it’s too dark to tell.

I don’t think so…

My mother was one of 8 kids and my father one of 10. I have a myriad of aunts and uncles…all who survived to adulthood got married and had kids, all but one of my dad’s brothers who I don’t think was gay, but who never moved out of his mother’s house, and who died 18 years ago. Every single other person on either side of my family had kids, some as many as 4, some as few as one. They all seem to be married or dating now and I have not heard anything about any of them being homosexual. Most of my cousins now have at least one kid, I have one who has like 6. There is one I haven’t seen in years who might be a closet homosexual…he kind of fit the profile a bit, but I’d heard he dated women, so if he is, he’s not out. I know my parents both have larger extended families as well, my dad knows a lot of his cousins still and as far as I know none of them were/are, and my mother has 4 half siblings and none of them as far as I know is or has any kids who are. The grandkids of my parents’ generation are mostly too young to have started dating, so I gotta imagine somewhere in there, probably someone is, but if so, I don’t know who.

However, my wife was an only child, but her father had 2 other kids from a 2nd marriage, one of whom, her ½ brother, is gay…he and his partner of many years are planning a wedding in Iowa next June. Her parents were each one of 4 siblings, and on her mother’s side, one of her mother’s sister’s kids (her first cousin) is also openly gay. They both were closeted for a while and both came out since I met my wife. So, even though her family is MUCH smaller than mine, she has 2 gay relatives by blood and I don’t have any that I know of. It’s just one of those things, you never know….you could have two people who come from tiny families produce a gay child and you could have a family where everyone has a dozen kids and no one ever turns out gay.

No relatives that I’m aware of. But our best ‘couple’ friends are two guys who’ve been married to each other (not legally, sadly) for many years.

My father has 2 cousins (who are sisters) who are lesbians, but I can’t think of anyone closer in the family.
The odd thing is I never thought about it. Everybody is a breeder. Maybe the fact that it isn’t important to me is a good thing.

Just me as far as I know, because like @MacBean said, its too dark here in the closet to tell if anyone else is anything but breeders.

@evelyns_pet_zebra I don’t think there was any need to use that term.

My aunt is gay. Three “uncles” are gay (very close friends of the family for over forty years).

I also have three good friends who are gay.

None of them are closeted by the way.

I’m a lesbian. I have a cousin who’s gay on my father’s side. I think both my half brother and sister have been curious at one time or another. I think there might be at least one more on my mother’s side. But nobody talks about them, their deep rooted religion believes it’s a sin! :(

@evelyns_pet_zebra You don’t have to clarify, but are you bisexual? Because you’re married to a woman right?

On my mother’s side, I have a closeted gay cousin. Everyone knows he’s gay, despite the fact that he’s never admitted it.

On my father’s side, I don’t know… No one is out, and I can’t think of anyone that seems to be gay. (That might come off bad, but I’m just being honest).

My mother is gay and has been with her partner for over 30 years. They moved in together when I was 11. I grew up with my mother’s partner’s two sons.

Nothing wrong with being one I have an 8-year old nephew who seems to be going down that path. We’re still observing. =P

I had a cousin that was gay. The family pretty much disowned him, and then he died of AIDS. Now whenever anyone mentions him, they whisper his name. My sister has experimented with women, and of course there’s me.

@casheroo: I <3 you, you silly breeder. ;)

maybe, but don’t think so. Unless I may interpret gay as lighthearted and carefree… than I can name a few.

My grandmother once talked to me about some cousin of hers who is a lesbian. No idea who, or if I ever met her.

Aside from that, there’s only me, so far as I know, though I suspect one of my cousins may have bisexual leanings, and I’m kind of curious as to how my little sister will turn out (she may just be a tomboy).

@casheroo, what term? Breeders? What is wrong with that term, as you call it? I don’t mean it in a derogatory way, it is simply a word. No malice connected to it in any way. I don’t mean it as an insult. People that have children are breeders. People that do not, cannot, or choose not to, aren’t. I am jealous of the people that are breeders, because from what I read on here, having kids seems like one of life’s greatest joys, and I missed out on it due to the consequence of my own personal choice.

And yes, I am married to a woman, we can’t have kids, and I am bisexual. I have a thing for other males, but I don’t act on it because I haven’t met one that knocks me off my feet. If I ever do, my wife says I have her blessing to ‘play around a bit’. She knows I will always come back to her, as no one could ever replace her. She has the same option, if she wants she has the same preference, on the female side and I think that’s fine. Hard to judge someone that thinks that love is never wrong.

When I say life is about choices, your results may vary, I mean it. It’s not just some clever line that I put in every third answer to annoy the fuck out people on Fluther. If it annoys people, it is because they let it annoy them.

@evelyns_pet_zebra
I identify as queer and have kids
one of my best friends is a lesbian as is her partner
they’re talking to sperm donors and will have kids
my other best friend who is gay is adopting (okay, that’s not breeding but still)
and my other best friend who’s a lesbian that lives in LA is moving to Upstate and starting a family as well (anonymous sperm)

I think the issue with the term is that some people apply it as an insult and assume it only means straight people and that that’s all they’re good for…

@Simone_De_Beauvoir well I mean as a descriptor, not an insult. I don’t judge people by whether they are gay or straight, whether they have kids or not, I judge people by their actions. Breeder to me is simply a word. No malice intended.

That’s awesome about your choices, and that your friends that are gay are taking on the complex responsibility of raising children. They have my deepest respect. Anyone who raises children to be productive members of society always has my profound respect. It’s not an easy job, and I for one do not have the patience for it.

I once considered donating sperm, then realized that with my genetic background, it wouldn’t be fair to the resultant children, and that it was probably for a purely selfish reason. So I am not donating sperm to anyone.

@casheroo I am sorry if the term “breeder” offends you, but I am not sure why it would. Can you explain?
I have several gay friends, and it is a common term to describe staights.

@filmfann
maybe because it lumps the straights into straights
just like I don’t like when people say ‘gays’ like ‘all kittens….’
people are people, not groups of stuff

@Simone_De_Beauvoir It isn’t a hurtful term, tho. I am not also saying “steriles” or “barrens”.
I really don’t understand how someone can be offended by it. I often refer to myself as “just another fucked-up cracker” at work, and noone takes offense.

@filmfann Well that’s okay, for you. But not everyone feels that way. This, as always, goes back to the debate about whether or not words are actually harmful. And I’d say that yes they are, to some.

@filmfann sort of like how I refer to myself as “just another white boy that when he dances, it looks like a frog in a blender.”

I don’t want people to think that every odd term I use is an insult. I try to make my insults plain and hard to confuse. Usually words that rhyme with Fluther Trucker. =)

@filmfann @evelyns_pet_zebra I just feel it’s an insulting term, even though I know @evelyns_pet_zebra didn’t mean it that way. I just feel it’s an inappropriate word to use to group people….mainly grouping people and separating them is what my issue is. @Simone_De_Beauvoir explained it a little better than I can.
Also, I have many gay friends and have never heard that word used by them to describe me, or any other straight person that I know of. Just because it’s common to you, to use words that actually feed into a problem (like calling yourself “cracker” to me that is feeding into the problem and not solving it by acting like the word has no meaning) To me, it’s equivilant to me using the word queer around gay people that don’t know me…I don’t know how they’d react, people view the word differently than others. Some are offended and some aren’t. I think it’s a respect issue.

@casheroo When I read your response, I actually thought you said “manly groaping people and separating them is what my issue”
Lenny Bruce and I would disagree with you on how you take the offense out of a word.

@allansmithee btw, welcome to fluther, love the name! Lurve your way!

I think words are unimportant, the meaning behind them is. And I think when we put too much power in a word, take offense at the phrase unconditionally, it leads to more problems than it solves. I think if you take a term that was meant to be hateful and derisive and use it casually and flippantly, you take away its power to offend, and in that way you can tell who is hateful and who isn’t. I take no more offense to breeder than I do to honkey…just words, if the person didn’t mean it in a derisive manner, you need to lighten up about it, because ultimately you’re jumping all over it is just empowering the word that you don’t like in the first place…it’s self defeating.

@dalepetrie So, you’re basically saying we should use words that we associate with as offensive more often…like I could just start using the world “nigger” flippantly, and that takes all meaning and power out of the word? That’s not how it works in my book. I didn’t mean to say @evelyns_pet_zebra offended me, all I was saying is he didn’t need to use that term…I found it inappropriate for the context of the thread and I voiced my opinion on it.

Yes, that’s what I’m saying. Because black people took that word back, started calling each other nigger. Now it’s lost any meaning. Whites are afraid to do so (and rightfully so), because in the case of that word (unlike others), you have a situation where for hundreds of years, the one group who used that word derisively against the other group also owned them and beat them mercilessly…it’s a bit different. But yes, if whites COULD throw out nigger with caution to the wind, then it would lose all meaning eventually.

@dalepetrie

I agree with you, dude. Believe me, it’s a controversial stance to take. But I have always felt this way.

@casheroo I value your friendship far more than I value the word breeder. I will try to abstain from using it in your presence. =)

We can all get along, all we have to do is be honest with one another, and have compassion instead of arrogance, and realize that we are all different in our own ways, and value the diversity. yeah, I know that sounds like one of those PSAs on the television, but it does have some truth to it.

@evelyns_pet_zebra Well thank you, I appreciate that. :) warm fuzzy feeling!

This makes me absurdly happy.

@evelyns_pet_zebra it sounds like your wife and yourself have a very good relationship :) my boyfriend is aware that I am bi-curious and is also happy for me to experiment with other women (although I think he would like to be there to witness it!!!) if I wish. However, I think he only says that because deep down he knows full well that I wouldn’t cheat on him with male or female because I love him far too much to even consider other people.

One of my sisters (I have four) is a lesbian. I’m closest to her than I am with my other siblings. She is in a relationship with a woman that has 3 children.

My aunt is a lesbian and has been in a relationship with the same woman for at least 25 years. Her daughter’s husband wouldn’t let her hold their baby when she was born. :(

My husband’s brother is gay and has been in a relationship with the same man for at least 15 years.When my brother-in-law told his father that he was gay, his father disowned him. Father-in-law is a dick. Everyone else in the family accepted it with open arms.

@allansmithee I would not worry about extended family, parents, siblings, and any of the family members you regularly interact with, as long as you think those people are going to be fine it seems it should be ok. Your immediate family has not given you any indication that they think you are gay? Made a point of saying in front of you that they are fine with gay people, that they would love their children no matter what, that they might have said directly to you that you can tell them anything.

Every single one of them is.

It is a minor miracle that I was even born.

i have a gay uncle.

I think I wasn’t clear above. I meant that I would not worry about extended family, but then I forgot a period in there. That as long as your parents, siblings, and other close family members are going to be ok with it, it seems like you should feel comfortable telling.

After all of the answers are you feeling better? More confident? Seems like there are gay people everywhere doesn’t it? :)

Unless you’re in touch with your extended family, or just have a really big family to start with it’s not so surprising that you don’t know of any other homosexuals in your family. I believe about 3% of people are gay, or at least openly gay, so that’s one openly gay person out of 33 people. So statistically, if you’re gay you’ll need roughly a pool of 66 people in your family before another (openly) gay person pops up. Assuming that they’ve made it public. Plus, families tend to be made up of mating pairs, the more mating pairs in your family, parents, grandparents, etc, the more spots in your family will be occupied by a demography even more dominated heterosexuals than humanity is is in general. This could be balanced if the mating pairs are producing large numbers of children, but that isn’t so common in developed countries.

@fundevogel – That’s what’s weird about my family and my wife’s family. My “immediate” family, meaning the people I see which would include both of my parents and all their siblings, ½ siblings, and all their adult children, my grandparents, etc. Those are the people who I know well, and there are about 80–85 people. Not a single one is gay, unless there are some hiding it very well, including marrying and having kids. My wife’s family…parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins including ½ sibling…that’s about 30–35 people, and TWO of them are openly gay. It’s random.

it is indeed.

Nope, i got many relatives but i don’t think there’s one or i don’t realize. Perhaps because i don’t know much of them.