Are you a former introvert who has "come out of your shell"? If so, what caused you to change?

The only time in my life when I was out of my shell was when I had lost all my excess weight… Being overweight certainly makes me introverted and insecure regardless of how I feel mentally… but I’m not sure if this is a chicken and the egg scenario…

I was extremely introverted all the way through Junior High School – about fourteen
years of my life.

Then, when I was fifteen, I met a new group of friends from an adjacent city (we frequented a community pool over Summer vacation). Through them I realized I could completely reinvent myself and not be bound to the “me” that was constantly bullied or ignored back in school or in my own neighborhood.

When I started High School that Fall, I went in with a much different outlook and slowly started coming out of my shell.

Now, I wouldn’t know a shell if i tripped over it.

getting a job in security helped, as I have to deal with the public on an hourly basis, no matter what my mood. I also became more extroverted when I figured out that people like it when someone keeps the laughter levels up. I suppose it also stems from becoming more comfortable in my own skin. =)

Being shy and being introverted are two different things. Extroverts can be shy too.
The difference is that while extroverts are energized by parties and other functions introverts, Introverts may enjoy social functions but they are emotionally and physically drained by prolonged stimulation.

In short: an introvert is wired differently and thus cannot become an extrovert though many function very well in extroverted settings.

In answer to your question:

I am very good at socializing. I have given speeches and hosted events without issue. The difference is that I need several days of non-stimulation to feel energized again afterwords.

To give you an idea of how well introverts can function in society here is a partial list of ones you may have heard of:

* Joan Allen, actress
* Candice Bergen, actress
* Ellen Burstyn, actress
* Glenn Close, actress
* Clint Eastwood, actor
* Harrison Ford, actor
* Tom Hanks, actor
* Helen Hunt, actress
* Diane Keaton, actress
* Jessica Lange, actress
* Laura Linney, actress
* Steve Martin, actor
* Gwyneth Paltrow, actress
* Michelle Pfeiffe, actress
* Julia Roberts, actress
* Meg Ryan, actress
* Meryl Streep, actress
* Noah Wyle, actor
* Abraham Lincoln, sixteenth president
* Sir Alfred Hitchcock, film director
* Michael Jordan, basketball player and celebrity
* Thomas Edison, inventor
* Grace Kelly, actress
* Gwyneth Paltrow, actress
* David Duvall, golfer
* Laura Bush, first lady
* Bill Gates, software pioneer
* Candice Bergen, actress
* Clint Eastwood, actor/director
* Charles Schulz, Peanuts cartoonist
* Steve Martin, comedian/actor/writer
* Harrison Ford, actor
* Michele Pfeiffer, actress
* Katherine Graham, late owner of Washington Post, author

Also on the Science front:

Alfred Adler, psychoanalyst
Albert Einstein, physicist
Thomas Edison, inventor
Jane Goodall, naturalist
Carl Jung, Swiss psychoanalyst

Keep in mind that this is a partial list

More the opposite for me over the years. I learned the hard way not to put all my cards on the table.

I’m an introvert, I know I am. I mean, I’m the one who laughs at the jokes and occasionally contributes, but for the most part I stay in the background. Sometimes I even feel like I’m being ignored.

But at least I know that there’re people on this planet who do care for my opinion. And I know that sometimes I might just be overly sensitive to situations.

I’ve come a long way out of my shell thanks to my parents’ coaching, but I liken myself somewhat to snail. When it’s safe I roll myself all out, but when I feel threatened, I just retreat back inside where I then write on my blog or reach for the telephone to call another close snail pal.

I was usually shy when I was near the guy that I liked but then one day I got out of my shell and we just started clicking and talking non stop.I was happy when I knew that I got out of my shell :)

I used to be very shy when I was a kid and into my early teens. I was not attractive, not popular (things that matter to kids at that age) and just had no self-esteem. I think I finally got tired of people stepping on my toes and decided to really not care what others thought of me, and I have been very extroverted, very successful, and very happy ever since.

I was very shy and I have overcome that as I’ve gained more self-esteem and overcome the effects of childhood abuse. But I believe that I will always be introverted, because although I enjoy going out and meeting new people, I still need my down-time and solitude to stay centered.

This is going to sound silly.

I am a twin. My brother is the more outspoken twin. He made his reputation using me as the butt of his jokes and stories, true or not.

Then about 3 months before the end of our senior year we decided to skip a day, never having done that. We skipped and watched Ferris Beullers Day Off.

I decided, for some reason, that from that day on I was going to say and do and make all the jokes that I was afraid to before. I wasn’t going to let him or anyone else dictate who I was.

My yearbook is filled with signatures like “I wish you would have been more like this” and “I love how you changed” and “I love how funny you are lately”.

I carried it on into adulthood. I just am who I am.

@hearkat – Me too.

According to the Myers Briggs test I took a few years ago, I’m just this side of introverted, 52% or something like that. I didn’t understand before why I needed downtime and why I couldn’t be go-go-GO all the time!

Yeah, being shy and introverted are definitely two different things. I used to be horribly shy when I was a lot younger, now I’m just really shy in certain situations. If I’m meeting new people, you won’t find me starting the conversation – unless I sense that someone else is really shy. If they are, I come out of my shell instantly and would probably be seen as an extrovert. It’s extremely weird.

I’m also extremely introverted. If necessary, I can interact with people just fine, but I generally choose not to. Big parties? No thanks, not my thing. I’ll go once in a while, if friends invite me – and I’ll even have fun with a few select people. But if I start to go to big gatherings all the time, it definitely tires me out and I get sick of them quickly.

@DrasticDreamer yeah, large groups of people do wear a body out. That’s why I like my 2nd shift job, things calm down after 5 pm or so, and I can relax.

I’m very introverted, but interestingly, once I understood exactly what that meant (a lot of what @Dog mentioned), it helped me to come out of my shell a little more – probably because I’m more comfortable with being who I am, instead of feeling like I should be more like the extroverts.

The thing that really changed things for me was reading the book Introvert Power – it really gave me a different perspective on why I react the way I do to certain situations, and it helped me to embrace my introversion and go with it, rather than fighting against it as I’ve been doing for most of my life.

So, in answer to the question, I’m still definitely an introvert, but a much happier, less awkward one than I used to be!

I believe I became socially anxious because I was quiet, and in this society, if you’re not a non-stop talking machine something must be horribly the matter with you. When you get the feeling from others that you are defective it’s enough to drive anyone into a “shell.”

An introvert is simply a person who does not draw their energy from others and who needs time alone to recharge their social muscles. We are quieter by nature because we process information internally as opposed to extroverts who talk to process. The only thing introversion has in common with shyness is the tendency for both types to be quiet people. This quietness arises from being inner focused and not from anxiousness or rather, extreme cautiousness.

It would be great if someday we could get the terms for quieter people straight. Instead, quiet people are consistently lumped together as one, when there are any number of reasons a person may be more quiet than most. Just a thought.