Are there any limits to your forgiveness?

I hope not
because that would mean that I think I can do a better job than God can.
shudders

Sexually abusing a child; that’s hard for me to forgive.

Yes, absolutely. I would never forgive a rapist or child molester or murderer (excluding self-defense) – no matter what my relationship was to them. I would never forgive someone who openly used people for their own gain, over and over.

I fully believe that there are certain things people can do that make them unlovable and that’s how it should be.

If you try to hurt, back stab, steal from me or rip me off, other things I can’t think of raight now you will get NO FORGIVENESS (EVER)
small things may be forgiven.

Strictly speaking, there are no limits to a ’ forgiver’s’ potential for forgiveness.
Are some things unforgiveable from my perspective? Yes, particularly the crimes that have been mentioned above.

What @DrasticDreamer said.

I am amazed when some people have told me that they forgive this person who did something truly horrible to them (as listed above). To which I have said, “So this person is still in your life?”

“Oh no,” they respond, “but I forgive them.”

uh huh

Abusing,
Lies,
Bad people,
People who do bad things,
Rapist,murderer what @DrasticDreamer said,

Yes. I once tried to forgive a repentent cheater and ended up breaking it off; spoiled is spoiled.

I find it difficult to forgive people full stop..but then I’ve always had a problem with saying sorry so… perhaps the problem lies with me to start with…

No limit.

Forgiving someone for the same bothersome action a few times is fine by me generally but when it’s repeated it may become unforgivable. For example I could forgive a friend who committed murder, however if they then proceeded to murder many more people that would be far more difficult to forgive.
@DrasticDreamer When you state that “there are certain things people can do that make them unlovable” are you referring to you being incapable of loving the person in question or anyone being incapable of loving said person? If it is the latter then I respectfully disagree.

I always give a second chance, unless I was betrayed purposely by someone close to me. Back stabbers are the worst, I will forgive and NEVER forget. Loyalty and kinship is the upmost important understanding, trusting bond between individuals, or a group of people. The limit is high, but not as far as to reach The Gates.

Of course there is a limit to my forgiveness. I am only human.

If i think far enough I would say there is no limit. I do not want to die with griveness and thoughts on how people had done wrong to me.

But often on a smaller time frame, I do have limited patience.

There is definitely a bigger limit to my forgiveness than to my anger

I don’t know of any limits to my forgiveness but I’ve also never been in a position where something so heinous happened to me that the limit would have been tested. And I hope I never encounter a situation where that consideration would come to light.

@Nially_Bob Both. I think when people do certain things, regardless of whether or not it’s the first time, they don’t deserve to be forgiven or loved. I guess it’s possible for some people to forgive and even love those who have done truly heinous things, but then… That’s not my definition of true love.

I’m in the minority in believing that “unconditional love” devalues what love truly is – which is loving people for genuine reasons. Without reasons, love is meaningless.

@DrasticDreamer I share relatively similar notions with regards to “unconditional love” as I do not believe it to exist.
Some may not, from an objective standpoint, deserve to be loved but I believe it is still possible. Is human mythology not afloat with stories of two people who have loved one another despite the horrendous deeds of one or both? Perhaps performing horrific tasks and having someone forgive you for it could even act as evidence for “true love”.
From what I have gathered of your perspective on this matter I assume that our opinions are seperated primarily by our definitions of “true love” so could you be so kind as to explain yours firstly my friend?

I shall forgive myself no more time for following this question any further and shall hence cease to do so, as of now….

@Nially_Bob Okay, you’re right – it is still possible. But those who love others that continuously cause harms to others, be it physical or emotional, devalue what love is. Mythology is indeed afloat with the examples you gave, but I say if you choose to forgive someone too many times, you’re choosing to have to forgive them forever. Or, if you choose to forgive someone who has done only one truly heinous thing, you’re not loving them at all. You’re holding onto the person they were before the terrible thing was committed, whether or not it was once or a million times. Because once someone does something truly bad (or to me – unforgivable) they are not the same person and they never will be again because things like that change people.

True love. It’s when you love someone for the goodness of their heart. The true goodness. You don’t love the good and look past the bad, basically. And when I say “bad” I’m not talking about minor faults or annoyances that every human being has here, I’m talking about their core. True love is loving someone for the many, many positive reasons that they give you – as long as there isn’t something so horrifying and unforgivable that they have done, because no matter what good aspects a rapist or murderer has – none of the good aspects will outshine that truly heinous aspect. Because some things just can’t be made up for or looked over, forgotten or forgiven.

I suck at trying to find the words. :-/ True love is loving people for reasons. It’s being able to say why you love them, not just that you do and can’t say why.

@DrasticDreamer
if you forgive someone too many times, you want to be doing it
forgive them once, that’s a nice thing to do
forgive them over and over, you’re implicit in their actions

I don’t think forgiving someone over and over is necessarily what a lot of people want to be doing. What they want is to still love that person. To believe that maybe, just maybe it will be the last time that they’ll have to forgive them. If the person doing the forgiving has to forgive at all, it obviously means they are not okay with the other person’s actions. If they were okay with it, they wouldn’t feel the need to forgive because nothing would be an issue in the first place. Which kind of points out what I said above: The people doing the forgiving – especially if it’s over and over – are looking to hold onto something or someone that is no longer there.

Let me put it another way to try and explain a little better. People above said that they could forgive a loved one for murdering another person in cold blood. Alright, that’s easy to understand. However, how many people would be willing to fall in love with a stranger that admitted to murdering someone in cold blood? Some? Absolutely. But most people? Not a chance – they would turn and run the other way. Now… Why?

If something as horrible as coldblooded murder is seen to be forgivable in someone that one already loves, why is it not seen to be something forgivable in a stranger? Why not forgive the stranger, give them a chance and possibly fall in love with them? Because no one wants to love a person who commits murder. When people forgive the one they already love, all they’re doing is trying to hold on to something/someone that is no longer there.

You darned right there are. I’d be a fool to continually forgive some people for the same hurts they deal out. How else will they learn?

Yeah, I hardly ever forgive anything completely.

@cprevite: having been molested as a child, I can tell you that my perpetrator (who is a relative) is not in my life, because when I confronted him, he would not express remorse or even accept full accountability for his actions. There are others in my family whom I hold responsible for allowing the abuse to occur and not protecting me, and my interactions with them are very limited.

However, this does not mean that I have not forgiven them, for I have… I accept that they do not have the fortitude to live with the guilt if they were to acknowledge their responsibility – their denial is a means for self-preservation. However, I can not maintain their illusions for them, so it is healthier for me to avoid dealing with them in any way.

@DrasticDreamer I concur with your sentiments with the exception of your perspective on some actions being unforgivable as depicted when you stated, “because no matter what good aspects a rapist or murderer has – none of the good aspects will outshine that truly heinous aspect. Because some things just can’t be made up for or looked over, forgotten or forgiven.”
The issue I take with this stance is that you assume certain acts to be innately ‘good’ and others ‘bad’, perhaps, from your perspective, some actions cannot be forgiven or made up for due to the person who has done them being inherently bad but others may not feel this way and have indeed truly loved those that have committed such acts.
Being that the concept of ‘true love’ is an extraordinarily subjective topic of discussion I believe that we shall not reach an agreement on the matter. Should you concur what say we agree to disagree respectfully?

haven’t met them yet.