What should people let go of in order to be happier, in your opinion?
Some say ‘drop god’
Others say’ drop that good for nothing partner of yours’
Yet more say ‘drop smoking, lose weight’
What do you believe people should let go of to be happier
IMO, I think people should let go of caution when it comes to love, let go of doing things to themselves so that others think they show the appropriate gender expression(aka if you want to stop shaving your legs, if you’re a woman, just stop it – your body has it, no reason to remove it cue assumptions about feminism and lesbianism, please spare me, :)), let go of living only for their children, let go of the media
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47 Answers
This: It sounds like it should be the strongest foundation in your life but don’t assume you can trust, confide in or rely on family- you don’t choose them by experience. Stop beating yourself up and them if they don’t perform as you think they should be able to. Step aside and go build your life with people who are positive, strong and constructive with you.
@Simone_De_Beauvoir But a woman’s freshly shaved, smooth-as-a-tranquil-pond legs feel sooooo good, though…
I say drop the need to conform to societal caricatures, whatever they may be. Supplement with the desire for knowledge. Add equal parts humility and empathy. Sprinkle in a healthy dosage of humor. Mix.
Then enjoy.
Stop caring what others think. Wealth isn’t a good measure of the quality of your life. I’m poor and I don’t care if people know it.
@Grisaille oh I suppose, but they shouldn’t be the only ones expected to do so and if don’t want to you shouldn’t have to..if you want to, fine by me, enjoy…also GA
Drama. And, I agree with @johnpowell – stop worrying about what others think of you. With those right there—you’d feel like a huge fuckin’ weight has been lifted off of your shoulders.
@Simone_De_Beauvoir I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the perverse fantasies going on in my head right now.
“Oh, your legs are so soft…”
(of course, as with all things, no one should ever feel obligated to do anything to appease the opposite sex/orientation. like, ever.)
I’m following for the advice :)
Unrealistic expectations of beauty, wealth, fame, and importance.
I know I’m never gonna be a groundbreaking astrophysicist with the body of a supermodel. I can live with that.
The word “should”. Unreasonable standards for themselves that will constantly go unmet. The gap between who we want to be and who we are causes unnecessary pain.
@augustlan what about attainable goals that go unmet?
@Facade If they are attainable and important to you, you’ll meet them. If they’re not important to you, by all means give them up! It’s a load off your shoulders, that’s for sure.
Immediately drop anything self-inflicted that makes you unhappy. Consider everything inflicted by others and if it does not stand up to your consideration of “do I really give a fuck?”, drop those as well. And do it all quickly…we’re talking your happiness here.
^^ Listen to WTF… he knows.
@whatthefluther Everything you write is so bittersweet. Man, man.
I’d give you infinite lurve for all eternity, if I could.
It’s entirely dependant upon the person. Some people are made happier by having unrealistic expectations as it gives them a purpose, wealth can make a person happier not simply as wealth but as a means of offering a better life to loved ones, some find drama to be invigorating which makes them happier, guilt can encourage action which may lead to happiness, not caring about what others think is, to be blunt, impossible etc.
Regardless of how universally positive removing a trait seems to be or how it has improved the life of you as an individual other people may react in a completely different manner to such. My answer was initially going to be ‘hatred’ but even that can potentially contribute to a stable and conducive lifestyle, be it in a bizarre way.
Good question Simone and congratulations on hitting 5000 lurve.
@Nially_Bob Thanks for reminding me to give Simone a GQ!
Envy – we’d all be much happier if we measured our success in terms of what we want instead of comparing ourselves to others.
Let go of your bias, let go of your conformity to what society thinks, let go of your steadfast mindset. Free your mind to take in, absorb, dissect, and process new ideas and forget what you have read is the right way, the generally accepted way, that has been postulated. Add your own imagination, thought patterns and personality consistent with what you have become, in your best and most positive frame would espouse, and I guarantee that you will be happy, content and growing.
Let go of high expectations. When I let go of being rich, having fancy cars, huge houses, designer clothes…I was truly happy and thankful for what I did have! I quit smoking 4 years ago. I was thin, now I’m not. I was happy smoking, now I’m overweight and unhappy about it!
@ShanEnri I’ve always wondered what smoking has to do with weight
@Facade you simply replace one bad habit with another. For most peeps it’s food that replaces the cigarettes! I tried to go healthy and all, but it’s not what you eat, it’s how much you eat!
The love for material things. It’s just stuff. Stuff comes and goes.
Once again @Jeruba is so wise!! How many wonderful surprises do we miss because we’re so busy complaining about unmet expectations?
The idea that we can control anything but ourselves.
A wise man once taught me this valuable lesson: Don’t compare yourself to other people, they are probably more fucked up than you realize. So people should give up measuring their own successes by other people’s yardsticks.
@johnpowell I read a quote recently that I’d like to share, but please take this the right way. You said that you were poor, and that you don’t care who knows it. The quote is: Broke is a temporary state, poor is a way of life. Words can be powerful, and perhaps if you look at your situation as temporary, it will change.
:-)
The constant worrying and stressing and anxiety over things that we cannot change. I’m poor if you use the standard definition of poverty. But my favorite quote on the situation would be “Who, being loved, is poor?” – Oscar Wilde
For me, the greatest impediment to my own happiness is taking myself too seriously. Whenever I start to slide down that hill again, life ceases to be fun. Hopefully I notice it as soon as it begins to happen and I grab myself by the scruff of the neck (which is not the easiest thing to do) and give myself the chill lecture.
Then life starts to fall in place again.
Dogma
Obsessive materialism
Xenophobia/Nationalism
Rigid gender roles
political apathy
Homophobia/Racism/Sexism exc…
and lots more
Let go of worrying what other people think about you.
If a person can truly do this, everything else is gravy.
anything poisoning your life.
so many people want to get something out of their life – whether it’s a person, a habit, etc – but they keep it there because they’re too scared not to.
and resentment, especially of mass groups of people.
if we all just let ourselves be okay with the fact that not everyone agrees with us – that if something isn’t hurting someone else, why not let it be? – i think we’ll all be a lot happier. let go of grudges, let go of hatred for people because they smoke weed or believe in god or love someone of the same sex, etc.
@Simone_De_Beauvoir I mean that kind of…arsey attitude:
I think of myself as a fairly decent person…very kind and friendly..but I can get an attitude at times… you know get gossipy, critical, judgemental, disgruntled (generally with people) which I really don’t believe is part of the true me… SO I stop myself “drop the attitude” and find myself happier and more at peace…
and then there are those people who are just plain nasty with attitude… they could do with dropping the attitude because they might find that more people actually like them and they might find inner peace rather than aggression… perhaps…
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[mod says] Duplicate post removed.
This question has a different answer for everyone.
There is something different for everyone that is making them unhappy, if they are unhappy, you just have to figure out what it is, and then work on it.
Most importantly, though, you need to become happy with yourself. Figure out what is so great about you, and celebrate it. I know it sounds corny, but if you are happy with yourself, everything else becomes a little easier. Good luck!
I think everyone should drop at least one degree of expectation for another person.
Oh god, where should the list begin?...since it depends on the person I think people should try stopping anything that is “weighing them down” or making them UNhappy
Fear of the future and physical insecurities…
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