Is it always best to approach your significant other?

I am female so I believe in the power of talking. I would ask her why she would present herself as either unattached or at least not specifically part of a couple.

OTOH, I present myself on the Internet as both married and older than dirt, but I still get hit on from time to time. Silly people

Online relationship statuses are nothing but trouble, in my opinion. I’ve gone through the argument of not changing mine in response quickly enough or not changing it to what people expected and I admit to having some of the same feeling towards my partner/s when I wanted public acknowledgment of “our love”.

Without knowing the nature of your relationship (time together, how you present irl to others, etc) I might guess she’s hesitant to make any notation in case you guys don’t work out.

Do you feel that you’re too clingy? Has that label been applied to you by her? You don’t have to make this a big deal conversation. Just say ‘funny thing I went back to look at your blog and now the relationship thing is gone. Did you take it down? the internet is so weird sometimes, no?’ keep it light

There was an older man; at least twice her age if not tripple leaving comments like ‘if I were younger I’d have to sweep you off your feet’ and such. I saw this after I had brought the single thing up to her though. Her account there was created quite some time after we had been together as well.
I feel I am clingy; though this is my first serious relationship with someone. She had constantly reassured me I wasn’t being clingy or needy in the past though. I don’t want to put her on the spot about it either but it is really bringing me down now.

I wouldn’t worry so much with what other people say to her (if this guy is flirting or whatever), but I would be concerned with what she says or doesn’t about relationship status. I’d talk about it with her. Tell her it makes you uneasy, and ask why it’s now not listed.

Everything is better with communication. Tell her how you feel. It has to be better than letting it twist up your insides like it is now. Approach it lightly and with ease, so as to not appear clingy or obsessed.

The easiest thing to do is ignore the whole point but if you are really troubled by this then let her know that the way she lists her status bothers you. Don’t say it makes you insecure, just express what you are feeling about the specific omission.

But the very real thing is that, on the very slim chance that she is thinking of leaving you, you are not going to find out about it by reading what she says in her profile on Facebook.

There is an old line about not sweating the small stuff. Try and apply that to this situation.

Don’t worry about old guys coming on to her, I will be 60 in exactly 30 days and no young woman in her right mind would have anything to do with me,

SRM

I don’t think you should base your relationship with what your better half posts or not posts over the internet. So what if she has small secrets like a new blog where she can be herself and write about what she feels without having to look over her shoulder if you’re judging her or not? It’s how she is with you that should matter. As long as there is no doubt that she loves you, give her some space to be herself.

Let her have her imaginary lovers. Who does she spend the night with every night? Perhaps you should be more loving and say all the nice words more often.

Relationships are all about communication, and it’s far better to communicate often than to bottle it all up and communicate in one big angry push.

Here’s another way to see it – your relationship will not magically get better via silence.

@Zendo regardless of their situation, I really never understood how people can say “I don’t care what they do as long as it’s me they come home to’...um, that would still be unacceptable to me

@Simone_De_Beauvoir It’s called love honey. True love. The love to set your SO free. If s/he loves you, too, they will return!

I believe that communication is important in any relationship whether a romantic relationship or friendship. I understand not knowing what to say or how to approach the subject at hand but I think talking to her in SOME way (communication isn’t always verbal or uses words) is the only way to really find out if she feels the same affections or feelings that you feel.

If for some reason it makes her uncomfortable to post her relationship status I would give her an opportunity to explain why…

@Zendo Oh believe me, I know what that’s about – we’re not monogamous, but for people that usually utter the statement that we’re discussing, they’re certainly exclusive

Well last night I confronted her about it and she said she didn’t know why it wasn’t displaying. Now it’s there and saying she’s in a relationship but she seemed irritated the rest of the night and commented on my insecurity. Was I wrong to be upset about it? I haven’t heard from her all day and seeing as I just purchased plane tickets to go visit her again (in 4 days now) a few days ago… I’m completely clueless as to what to think/do. :[

@Syger this sounds like more trouble than it’s worth – reevaluate

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Indeed.

Sounds to me like a whole lot of excuses piling up pretty quickly on her part. I would confront her. Sit her down and EXPLAIN your feelings and insecurities about the situation. And if she gets really defensive I’d bet she knows she’s guilty of something and she’s trying to cover it up. I know from experience that is exactly how I would react when I was being accused of something I knew I had done but was ashamed to admit. When you approach her, it’s important not to attack her. Make it as comfortable and laid back as possible. If she still overreacts and puts a wall up, you know something is up.

I think if you are not getting what you need in a relationship you need to communicate it to your partner. Sometimes ur SO’s don’t realize that what they are doing is very hurtful, and I think we always should remember that they cannot read our minds, so we need to state what we need and want sometimes. If they are not willing to discuss, or not willing to take your feelings seriously, that does not sound like a balanced relationship. If it is just a relationship status n a website, maybe that is no big deal, but if you have an overall feeling of disconnect or lack of the affection you desire I would think that it will be difficult or very unsatisfying to be in that relationship long term.