In the interest of your relationship, would you continue to converse with this person?

I would respect the wishes of my future husband and forget about the one guy from my past who can’t seem to let go.

Out of respect for my current partner, I’d have no further contact with the ex. The ex understands your situation (that you’re in a relationship), but, yet is showing you no respect by continuing on with the flirting/questionable messages and whatnot. Let him go, and concentrate on your relationship with your man.

Depends on how much that person means to you. He will eventually get over it. Just give it some time. Or, if he isn’t that important to you, just don’t talk to him anymore.

This happened to me. I explained to her that I was married now, and I was faithful.
My wife was slightly annoyed, but glad I made it clear.

This isn’t the girl he went on vacation with is it?

@Judi I didn’t say this was about my relationship

@tinyfaery If it’s been a couple years and they’re still not over you, you think it will happen eventually?

@Facade, just wondering.

Contacting to remind them of how good it was? Yeah, that person needs to be cut out of the friendship realm and get moved into the “used to know them” part.
I’m friends with people I used to sleep with, they never ever mention things from our past like that. That would be extremely inappropriate, and I would not respect them as a friend if they did that. If I had a guy talking to me like that, I would understand why my husband wouldn’t want me talking to them. I wouldn’t want him talking to a girl that was constantly telling him how nice it was when they were together.

Nope, a person who fails to understand that you are not available, is not really a friend. That that type of relationship could get ugly, or even dangerous. Once you commit to someone, then you become unavailable to everyone else. If the person can’t accept that, then there is no friendship.

Well, then I think it’s odd that she has kept this so called friend around so long. If she’s over the old guy and truly committed to the new guy, why is she hanging on to some guy that won’t stop telling her she loves him? Something isn’t adding up.

No, because it’s obvious that Mr TXT not respecting her or her current relationship. That sort of person is not a friend at all. All that texting and “I still love you” and so on? It’s not about her. It’s about him and his “need” to create drama.

Give that person no lurve! He should respect your relationship!

@tinyfaery, perhaps she’s hung onto him because of “moths to the flame” issues. Old boyfriends as hanger-ons is validation of desirability.

Pardon my defensive nature if I’m wrong, but this isn’t about me! lol

I am not one to change or drop friendships because of a romantic relationship. That said… this person isn’t your friend. He is making his reasons for contacting you clear, and it’s not just that he enjoys your company. The girl in question should make it crystal clear to him that his behavior needs to stop. If that doesn’t work- buh-bye.

I would explain to him that I no longer wish to be anything more than friends, if he can’t except that then I would tell him that I can no longer be friends with him; as its not fair to continue to let him have expectations for something that will never happen. (assuming the relationship I am in is a happy one)

gradually stop talking to them…so they don’t go psycho, you don’t have to please the entire world, you please othyers to please yourself, get what i mean?

Most definitely cut off communication with that person. You clearly will never be able to give them what they want due to your current partner and soon to be spouse. Nothing good can come from keeping this other person in your life. They want more from you than what you are willing to give. I would suggest letting them know the friendship can’t exist if they are going to keep doing what they’re doing. Seems clear to me that if things continue this way, it will surely cause trouble in the future with your spouse.

Keeping contact with this person is only making them think that there is still a chance and that you may not be as committed to your current relationship as you say you are. Out of respect for the one in the relationship I would cut off contact with the one who keeps bringing up the past because they are not respecting you OR your relationship. They are also not showing your s/o any respect and that is something to avoid.

I wouldn’t worry too much about how this person feels about you cutting off contact with them because if they cared about how you feel when they bring up the past they wouldn’t be bringing it up at all.

@MerMaidBlu I agree :)

Some “exes” are extremely competitive. They won’t take “no” for an answer simply because they feel that they somehow did not “win.” This is probably tempered by some sort of hidden anger at being overlooked. I agree with @MerMaidBlu Or just be honest: ” I am really committed to my relationship and think that the healthiest thing is to just stop having any sort of exchanges with you. It’s apparent that you are not willing to acknowledge how much I love this person and want a life with her/him and no one else.” Then, change phone numbers and block emails.

Sometimes, however, even someone who says that they are monogamous and willing to change…will leave one little bit of their foot in the water….of the old life. Especially if they had a very active sex life and playboy/playgirl life. Just in case. So, I am not sure who you are speaking about….but that person will have to examine their conscience to make sure that they are not just keeping someone dangling for their own bit of ego boosting. As insurance over a future time. That’s something to consider, too.