Asperger's Syndrome, benefits of a full diagnosis?

I would think knowing would be half the battle. Once you know what you’re dealing with, you can then work on ways to… well… deal with it. As far as ‘confronting’ your mom, go ahead and have a talk with her about it, but in a non-confrontational way. No reason to go into it expecting it to be unpleasant. As a mother myself, my best guess is that she was trying to protect you by keeping you in the dark. Misguided, yes, but probably with good intentions. Good luck!

I agree with @augustlan on all counts and advise you not to “confront” your mom but by all means if you are indeed diagnosed with Aspergers let her know your diagnosis and ask why she did not trust the therapist you were seeing before.
Chances are her reasons were very valid and your best interests were at heart.

The more information you and your health provider have to work with the better. Get the best diagnosis you can get.

I see no need to confront anyone about the past.

@augustlan & @Dog: The things is that, according to my father, my mom was actually in DENIAL, laughing that I couldn’t possibly have it and told him to stop taking me.

She then later bought a book on it, though I’m not sure how much later. I do recall reading the book before I was told, though. And when I said ‘confront’, I didn’t really mean in anger, though your opinions do help greatly.

I would talk to your mom firsthand and find out from her what caused her to be concerned enough to stop therapy. Your father is telling you from his perspective. She may have been in denial or she may have seen personality changes in you during therapy that were not healthy or she did not trust the therapist. It could be one of dozens of valid reasons. Before you blindly accept your Dads assumption on her decision get a diagnosis then ask her.

Learn about AS and if you think you have it, go to a professional and get advice. There is no ‘cure’ only coping skills which can be taught at any time,

Think about this, a lot of young adults are unhappy with their lives and look for someone to blame. People with AS are socially and emotionally withdrawn and very nonconfrontational. So possibly starting a big magilla with Mom is just a way to avoid taking responsibility for your own happiness. You may very well have some ‘difficulty’. Your choice is to wallow in your misery or stand up and deal with it.

And before anyone decides to jump on the mean old bitch-I’ve walked the walk

There really is no one iron-clad “test” which will prove or disprove an Aspbergers diagnosis in the same way as say a blood test for diabetes. A blood test is usually completely objective (assuming everything is ok with the lab and their procedures.) An Asperbergers diagnosis has far more potential for it to subjective depending on the training and personality of the professional making the diagnosis. It is more like an educated guess from connecting the dots with various behavorial criteria. It is not at all uncommon for various therapists to disagree on this diagnosis as well as many others in the behavorial-psychiatric realm.

When I was teaching, I always made it a policy for myself to purposely NOT read any of my kids’ transcripts until after the first quarter grades had been done as I wanted to start them off with a clean slate and come to my own conclusions about their capabilities, personalities and behavior. In my opinion, kids get labeled in all sorts of ways at much too early an age. If there was a significant problem in any area, I could usually figure it out and confirm it with the records and then decide upon a course of action.

Perhaps your Mom was aware of this and did not want you “labeled” this early in life. Kids tend to live up to or down to the labels they are assigned. Or, it could have been for other reasons, not all of them “bad” or ill-intentioned. If you want to know why she chose to do this you really need to ask her and get it straight from the horse’s mouth, so to speak. But, don’t go in with the assumption that her reason(s) were not valid.

If it were me, I would probably research who in your area are the recognized experts dealing with Autism-Spectrum disorders. Pick the top two (and perhaps more if they don’t basically agree) and let them do a thorough evaluation of you.. You certainly have a right to know what you are dealing with and learn from it what you can. The fact that you are concerned about it at this age suggests that you yourself have noticed certain behavioral or other types of problems and want some straight answers. It may take a while, but knowing is preferable to not knowing.

This excerpt provides an interesting perspective on autism: a professor of mathematics.

When I click on the link for “a professor of mathematics” it brings me right back to this page of fluther. Huh??

@Buttonstc Me to, the link doesn’t work

@sonic232 Do you find you have difficulty in social settings? Do you feel there is something about you which interferes with your daily life and relationships? If so, go see a clinical psychologist. It is not necessary to expend energy worrying about a condition you may or may not have unless you feel it is causing you problems.

In addition, a correct diagnosis can be quite intrusive and involved. But I think what @Buttonstc suggests is an excellent idea.

Hmm. I would say, by now, you know yourself much better than any therapist’s diagnosis will. If you feel like you have a weakness, study it in a practical manner, and find your own ways to cope. It will make you a stronger person and will save you a shitload on the bill. :D

Your mother may have been concerned about a label as a crutch. If a person has a label they may use it as an excuse and effectively handicap themselves with “I can’t” or “I have disease X so I will not attempt to do Y or Z.” Children often will exaggerate a label as a crutch in a way to be different or special.

My nephew was diagnosed with Aspergers. He’s 20 now and not able to get out on his own because he doesn’t think like adults do. Had he have been diagnosed earlier he could have gotten help through my mother, who would’ve insisted he get help. My brother is ashamed of it and won’t get him the help he needs, so he will be, in effect, raising him for the rest of his life. Anyway, I would get a full diagnosis and accept any help they want to give! Don’t hold it against your mother, if for no other reason than she’s your mom! If I remember correctly, Aspergers comes from the father. My brother has 3 sons and 2 are autistic. The 3rd is being raised by his mother and will receive all the help he’ll need! He’s 3 now and in all kinds of programs!

Besides, there are many Aspies that actually manage to lead a decent (iff slightly eccentric) life, like John Elder Robison who designed/built the guitars for KISS.

I wasn’t diagnosed with AS until age 52. The condition cannot be cured but can be treated in childhood or teens to make living with the condition and interacting with the world easier. The treatments have not been around for very long and your therapist at the time may have been unaware of them. Therefore the therapist may have told your parents that,since there were no known treatments, what would be the point of paying for a full diagnosis?

As a child, I too was seen by therapists and was never told what their diagnoses were (I still don’t know and both my parents are deceased). I continued to be misdiagnosed throughout my adult life (bipolar, ADHD, OCD, social phobia. etc) and at my age now any attempt at treatment would be pointless as my self-developed “coping strategies” are heavily ingrained. The diagnosis for me was just a label and a gateway to understanding more about myself, even if nothing can be done to change anything

Age 21 might not be too late to get some kind of treatment or behavioural coaching. I understand that it’s basically teaching pattern-recognition, memorizing body language and facial expressions, simulating eye-contact and learning to duplicate body postures and expressions to make you appear more ‘normal” to the neurotypical population.

I really don’t see any point in confronting your parents over this. What has been done cannot be undone. All that would be accomplished is venting your anger at them. Probably best just to move on with your life as best you can.

I understand that treatment options are expensive, time consuming and not covered under most health insurance plans. Who knows what the health care reform package will bring, but don’t hold your breath waiting.

@stranger_in_a_strange_land My diagnosis was always left as a question-mark when I was younger, but I was lucky enough to go to a public school system that was at least somewhat on-the-ball. I had speech therapy, a little 1-on-1 with the gym teacher to work on my coordination, and few years of social-adaptive tutoring (in lieu of study halls). By the time I hit the 9th grade, I could pass for an NT. I have to look back on it and laugh. They probably had no real idea what they were doing, but managed to do the right thing anyways!

@jerv I was just treated like a juvenile delinquent with an ultra-high IQ. Academic honor roll and suspension for fighting simultaneously. Only starting college at age 14 saved me from reform school.

i am a mum of an Aspie and i am so proud of him, His brain works in an amazing way , and he is so clever. i think it is vitally important to get diagnosis early so that coping strategies can be learnt. as for your mum ,maybe she was advised against diagnosis, when my son was going through it, we were asked to consider what the “label” would mean to him , he is 14 and fine, we discuss wether Aspergers syndrome is evolution , i think it probably is, but you guys will always need a neo typical to help out at some point. :)
in answer to you question… yes get diagnosis it will help you understand who you are. be gentle with your mum she was probably only doing what she thought was best.

@stranger_in_a_strange_land I knew even from an early age that I was rather high-strung and decided that I didn’t want to burn out. I blew off the academics, though I still managed a GPA that kept me (barely) on the Honor Roll.
To me, there is more to life than degrees or dollars, so I am not going to push myself too hard to achieve goals that I feel are not important. Some people suffer from mental disorders, but I enjoy every minute of mine :D

@jerv I care just enough about money to buy a barrier between myself and the world. Life is a shit sandwich (the more bread you have, the less shit you have to eat). No neighbors, no debt, retirement in less than 2 years.

Knowing is nice, but it is not absolute. You don’t want it to get into your medical insurance profile. True, it is not to be used against you by law… but companies to anyway, I’m an Aspie and diagnosed but never had it made public or sent as an outcome to health insurance.