Guys: When you hit on a girl in a bar and she tells you she's gay, do you believe her?

Well first off he sounds like an a$$ for being so forward. I never would do that. It almost sounds like he had a bet with someone as to whether or not he could pick you up. Either way, he’s still an a$$.

He probably thought it was an excuse to get away from him

Some guys really don’t care. They want what they want, and don’t know how to take no for an answer. You gotta stamp on their arches to get them to pay attention, and then they walk away calling you a bitch dyke, only not with the same feelings they had before about lesbianism.

Also, some men think lesbianism is just a thing to have fun until the right guy comes along. They just don’t respect lesbian relationships, and they consider you still “in play.”

I’m married so don’t hit on girls in bars, I do however frequent quite a few gay bars so yeah probably would believe them.

He may have thought it was an excuse to get rid of him, or he may have been drunk enough to have disregarded anything you said. He might also have been one of those guys who believe that lesbians are just women who haven’t had sex with the right guy. Personally, I would have stopped him dead with the first kiss on the cheek.

He was probably just thinking with his other head and was hoping to get lucky.

I think you could have told him “I am married” and the answer would have been the same.
The same would go for “I am your sister”

He did not give a damn about your feelings or orientation. He just wanted to pleasure himself.

I concur with @daloon and @Darwin.

WRT your main question: Whether or not I believe them, I would stop hitting on them, since that’s a VERY clear indicator of lack of interest.

next time tell him you’re a dude

Lol @Ansible1, that will be my line of defense next time. :)

And thanks everyone! I probably should have been more firm with the rejecting, since you all concur that he’s an ass! I’m too polite for my own good a lot of the time.

Telling some guys you’re gay is just an invite to press for a 3-some with you and a friend of yours.
Menage a trois… ooh la la!

He was probably drunk or as everyone else already mentioned, he probably doesn’t respect your choice and thinks he may get a shot a threesome if he can get you to consider him. Yes, you should have stopped him at the first kiss. Once he saw that you didn’t object firmly to the first kiss, he perceived it as a green light to kiss you again. The moment he he sat on your lap, you should have got up while smashing his face backwards so his lame ass would land flat on the floor. Don’t be a pushover! Pushovers don’t deserve sympathy.

he either didn’t believe you, didn’t care, or just thought “oh that’s hot”. he sounds like a total douchebag haha.

@Deepness: I agreed with you all the way until you said, “Pushovers don’t deserve sympathy.” It’s better not to be a pushover, but some people can’t help it, and IMO they deserve more sympathy than most.

Also some ignorant men might consider a gay gal a challenge. “Yeah- She was gay- till she met me!”

@barumonkey You’re right. Pushovers deserve sympathy. My words were meant to be taken as ‘tough love’.

I always operate on no expectations.
If she says she is gay. Unless she is a man hater, I will still want to get to know her.
That line has most of the time not stopped me from accomplishing my goal.

Absolutely. That’s usually the effect I have on woman. They tend to go gay after experiencing me.

When I was a young girl, frequenting the meat markets, there were often men that wouldn’t take no for an answer. The only way to get them to go away was to make out with my girlfriends. We did it all the time.

Maybe that’s why guys don’t believe gay women. Because us hetero girls screwed it all up. My apologies to you.

Personally whether I believe her or not depends on whether I think she’s lying. If she says she’s gay but keeps talking to me and is friendly, then I’ll believe it. But if it’s obvious she doesn’t like me and then says she’s gay, I’ll assume she’s just saying it to get rid of me. Which in fact is what happened with you: it’s not because you are gay (or “pretty gay” as you said) but because you don’t like the guy that you told him. If you liked him, you would have kept talking to him anyway.

As for him, I think the reason he didn’t go away was that he was maybe hoping of having a trio with you and your (debatable) girlfriend, or at least watching the two of you do it. I don’t know, I’d just give up, but I guess that’s how people end up doing trios.

I don’t know. I’ve never really been the “hit on a girl in a bar” type guy. If I were to hit on a girl in a bar, just for the sake of the hypothetical, and she said that she was gay I would think she isn’t interested or.. she was gay… depends on the body language.

He probably didn’t leave you alone because he was a dumbass (putting it mildly).

I have definitely told people I’m a lesbian but it’s not so far from the truth – I am quite attracted to women as well as men or gender-variant people…though when I said I’m a lesbian it was to avoid advances and it always worked for me

some people get a little dumb when they drink, he was one of em.

I know a lot of straight women who have said they’re gay in the attempt to get weird guys to leave them alone. Men probably caught on one way or another, so yeah. He either didn’t believe you or thought he could “turn” you. Next time, just say “Sorry, I’m not interested.” If someone is still persistent, up the seriousness of your tone every time and make sure that you don’t smile when you’re rejecting a male. A lot of guys mistake a nervous smile as playfulness.

@DrasticDreamer so that girl last night wasn’t happy I made her a yarmulke out of my pubic hair?

Silly Boobs! Girls don’t wear yarmulkes.

@Darwin ah, that would explain it then, should have made something different… I only have so much hair though to be honest…

My friend Dave was at a bar, drinking heavily, and eyeing the bartender.
After a long night, he asked her to come home with him.
She leaned in close, and said she would, but that he should know that she was really a guy.
He (being drunk) said “Bullshit! You ain’t a guy! If you don’t want to come home with me say so!”
She leaned in closer, and in a very deep voice said “It’s true, Dave.”

He later made the mistake of telling that story at work. You never, ever tell a story like that at work.

@filmfann I was once in a bar in Hamburg and this guy we were with was really drunk and starting kissing this girl (we all knew it was a guy in a dress but he didn’t) they were getting pretty hot at the bar and his hand went to her crotch, the look on his face was priceless !! That’s not the best bit though, after the shock he just kinda shrugged his shoulders and carried on. Oh how we laughed !!

I only back down if she beats me at an armwrestle, otherwise she’s faur game until I say she’s gay.