Is it okay to go out with a good friend's ex?

In my circle of friends it will get you a dick-punch.

You can’t have BOTH. If you pick the ex, the good friend will disappear.

If you discuss it with your friend beforehand it might be ok. But usually I’d say no. Too much drama.

I second what IP said.

It seems to depend on whether you’re a guy. My husband and his best friend did this (before I met him) as did a few of my guy friends. I’ve never observed this phenomenon with women.

I very much doubt it… but I’m sure there must be someone on here that has done it…

It usually isn’t. You would have to talk to the friend first. If they truly cared nothing about the ex (on both extremes—not still in love with them and not hating them), then it might be OK.

Usually, the question is, is it worth it to endanger your friendship?

Great answer point to johnpowell! xD

Well, if you can, avoid the ex; or at least think if it’s worth the pain… your friend will probably get angry with you, and he may learn to assume the new situation, understanding that she doesn’t belong to him anymore and that both of you now can do wathever you want. I second IP’s response too, but keep in mind that he shall let you hang out with her (remember you’re he’s friend).
For sure, the age and matureness of your friend is a critical aspect; he must be mature and open-minded to handle this situation.

Better be prepared to disgust him, your friendship won’t be seriously damaged if you’re good friends enough… by the way, if your friendship isn’t too strong, damn it! get the gal ;)

Good luck!

I think it depends a lot on how the friend and the ex broke up. Are they still on good terms, or was it a messy break up? If the latter, the friend could very likely see it as you taking the ex’s side in the break up.

If it was a “clean” breakup, where they just simply realized they’re not right for each other, there’s a chance it could be okay. But I would still ask the friend his/her opinion before you asked the ex out.

Permission first, otherwise stop it.

Yes definately make sure it’s ok with your friend first! My mom used to say, “nothing, not even a man, should come between friends!” Or woman should you be a man! Here’s something funny though! I had a best friend, her name was the same as mine! if you wanna know, look at my profile I’m married to her ex and she was married to mine. At the time we were all pretty close!

NO

I don’t believe in such “rules”. My best friend has made it clear that if I ever dated any of his ex girlfriends (even the one he had like 20 years ago) he’d never talk to me again. This is because he considers his ex gfs part of his own life, and can’t see them as part of a friend’s life. Which makes pretty good sense to me.

I had a big fight with him when he dated someone else’s ex. She was not my ex, but another friend’s, and I felt weird, because I was used to seeing her with my other friend, not him. A lot of it also had to do with the fact that she was my flatmate and I loved her (as a friend) and he didn’t respect her very much.

Also, his brother dated his ex for a while, which as you can imagine made my best friend furious. They didn’t speak for 2 years after that. They’re ok now though (after the brother broke up with her).

But I think the biggest problem is that if someone is close enough to you, they already know a lot about your ex. And you know enough about her too. And there’s some reason why she’s your ex, which quite often has to do with things your friend should know and avoid. So I’d never date any of my friends’ exes to start with anyway. And I’d warn my friends not to date mine, but only out of love for my friends. Unless the reason for breakup was something different and the ex was actually a good girl, in which case I’d be fine with it (I’ve actually passed on an ex to one of my friends).

None of the people I consider friends would date any guy I’ve seriously dated…which isn’t many. I have friends who have dated guys I’ve dated in high school, but those were such insignificant relationships. I’d never go to them and say “He’s off limits” but it’s an unspoken rule. Even though I’m married, they still would never do it.

I think if they are a “good” friend they probably wouldn’t be interested in dating anyone you dated. My friends and I share so much about our relationships with each other that we know every detail about each of our SOs. I know ALL the good and bad things about them, that I can’t see them more than just my friend’s boyfriends. All that information makes my mind register them as off limits.
Now if it was an acquaintance’s ex I think it would be easier.

Go out with whomever you want. Who cares if they’re a friend’s ex.

It’s hard for me to imagine this problem, since my best friend is gay. No competition.

My brother is actually involved with someone who was my friend first (just a friend), and the only thing that bothers me about that is that I don’t think he treats her well enough. Everyone knows they are together, but he never acknowledges it to the family, nor does he invite her to family functions. Sometimes I invite her as my friend, but she shares a room with my brother. Weird.

I you really love this ex, Go for it….

Hardly ever unless it’s your good friend setting the both of you up.

No. You cant. That is breaking the friend golden rule.

But, if you have to you have to. If you are so madly in love that she is more important then your friend. If you just like her and go for drinks and an occasional romp in the hay. Then do not break the rule.

In my opinion, it entirely depends on why your friend and their ex broke up. If your friends ex broke his heart, I would say it’s definitely not okay.

On the other hand, if they weren’t in love, didn’t date for that long or made the decision together that they just weren’t a good couple, I’d say there’s more of a chance your friend would be okay with it.

What’s most important is that you talk to your friend about it. It’s the nice thing to do. Good luck.

Friends don’t let friends date their exes.

ask your friend to answer honestly

not ok.

Honestly, I think that whole rule is crap. They broke up, get the hell over it. If she or he or whoever broke up with the other half, that means they are done, and that its overrrrrr. Why are they going to prevent you from being with the one you like? Shows how much they love you, yeah?

Of course, if you get involved with someone like that, you are gonna hear about Comparisons…
and that just weirds me out

Hell, one of my best friends married my ex. That was ten years ago. Life moves on.

Exactly. They broke up. I am dating my ex boyfriend’s friend, and honestly, it sucks for my ex and I’ve dealt with people happy for me and people who go what the hell it’s taboo. I think that if you see that person as someone you can be truly happy with (not just a fling), then why not? You deserve to be happy! Why would your friend prevent you from being happy? Honestly, it’s an awkward situation and unless you are ready to deal with the haters and a possible fall out from your friend, you shouldn’t do it. I am glad I risked it and did cause’ I am extremely happy, and obviously from responses other people are too!

man its so wrong,me and my ex broke up(on good terms,trying to get it back together)my best friend took advantage of the situation without asking me and lied about what was happening( he hooked up with her 2 weeks later)its all about morals and values,if it was a couple years down the line then ok,but i know in my heart these people are trash,they out my life and i sent him on his way with a punch in the mouth!!!!be carefull what you wish for!dont play with peoples emotions and be honest,ask permision 1st,dont be a snake(lovers come and go but true friends should be there till the end)love triangles never work so be prepared to lose a friend.

I think it’s ok if it wasn’t a serious relationship and if the friend is honestly over it. Otherwise, you’re stepping on other people’s feelings. I have only one ex that I really still care about, and it would be weird to see him with any of my friends. Otherwise… what’s past is past.

It’s absolutely fine. If someone is your ex, you need to let them be your ex…and see others.