Social Question
Romantic love and companionate love - How many times in your life did you fall in love?
From Wikipedia:
Romantic love is a relative term, that distinguishes moments and situations within interpersonal relationships. There is often, initially, more emphasis on the emotions (especially those of love, intimacy, compassion, appreciation, and general “liking”) rather than physical pleasure. But romantic love in the abstract sense of the term, is traditionally referred to as involving a mix of emotional and sexual desire for another as a person.
If one thinks of romantic love not as simply erotic freedom and expression, but as a breaking of that expression from a prescribed custom, romantic love is modern. There may have been a tension in primitive societies between marriage and the erotic, but this was mostly expressed in taboos regarding the menstrual cycle and birth.
Scientists use brain scans to show that love is the product of a chemical reaction in the brain. Norepinephrine and dopamine, among other chemicals, are responsible for excitement and bliss in humans as well as non-human animals. They conclude that these reactions have a genetic basis, and therefore love is a natural drive as powerful as hunger.
Other researchers have focused on opposing forces in human love. Overestimation of love can lead to disillusionment; the desire to possess the partner results in the partner wanting to escape; and the taboos against sex result in unfulfillment. Disillusionment plus the desire to escape plus unfulfillment result in a secret hostility, which causes the other partner to feel alienated. Secret hostility in one and secret alienation in the other cause the partners to secretly hate each other. This secret hate often leads one or the other or both to seek love objects outside the marriage or relationship.
People are drawn together by a force called “romantic attraction,” which is a combination of genetic and cultural factors. This force may be weak or strong, and may be felt to different degrees by each of the two love partners. The other factor is “emotional maturity,” which is the degree to which a person is capable of providing good treatment in a love relationship. Thus an immature person is more likely to overestimate love, become disillusioned, and have an affair, whereas a mature person is more likely to see the relationship in realistic terms, and act constructively to work out problems.
Research by the University of Pavia suggests that romantic love lasts for about a year, and then it is replaced by a more stable form of love called companionate love. In companionate love, changes occur from the early stage of love to when the relationship becomes more established and romantic feelings seem to end. However research by the Stony Brook University in New York suggests that some couples keep romantic feelings alive for much longer.
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