What should I think about his new actions?

Don’t make your decision based on what you think he wants. Make your decision based on what you want.

If this is the first time he’s done something like this then I’d give it a shot. But keep in mind that he might do it again. So try not to get too involved (as in to the point where if he does something like this again he’ll ruin your life).

People do deserve a second chance.

Another thing to keep in mind is where you’ll be staying. If things start to turn for the worse, will you be able to get away from him or will you be more or less trapped at his place? Or will you be able to just leave?

Sounds like a booty call to me.

thanks so far everyone.

and no im not a booty call and he knows that.

Basp has great advice.

Live your life for yourself. You shouldn’t think anything about his decision, why does it matter, you’re not dating him now and he broke your heart, so why spend more time thinking about him? Go find a guy who will love you for yourself, trust me there are plenty out there.

Edit: I mean, you can give it a chance if you’d like, but it seems he really doesn’t know what he wants. If you are into him being indecisive, well then there’s no harm in seeing what happens… but if he breaks your heart again I hope you do learn from it.

Talk about it before the visit. Talk about his expectations and yours. Does he just want a visit from a friend? Does he want to try to work with the distance?

Be clear before you expose your heart to being broken all over again.

I gotta tell ya, whether or not you are, it DOES sound like a booty call (like @ChazMaz suggested).

“and no im not a booty call and he knows that.”

Ok, if you say so. I get the impression you might not want to see it that way. But, I bet you that is what he wants. All of a sudden he wants to see you, drive 2 hours.
That boy is horny! The fact that you both have history. Makes the process of hopping in the sack with you that much easier, then him starting from scratch with someone else.. That is if you let him in.

Listen to @ChazMaz he is giving it straight to you from the mind of a guy. Guys think about sex 24/7 (even during the Super Bowl) and you are an easier ‘mark’ than starting from scratch with some new woman.

Men are exceedingly simple, they let their little head do most of the thinking, and would let it do most of the talking if it had vocal chords. =)

lol yeah… sorry to say, that’s a booty call. Only difference between that and a normal booty call is he’s called in advance.

@evelyns_pet_zebra we’re really not “exceedingly simple” by the way.

we never had sex and i don’t plan on it.

That doesn’t mean he isn’t planning on it.

Good for you! Really. :-)

Event though you are not planning on it. Understand that others will be.
Stay on your guard and be safe.

You should ask him why, in view of what happened previously, he wants you to visit. Ask him if he still thinks that you will not give him enough space. (Very important: Do not say this angrily or sarcastically, but very casually). Do not mention that you spoke to his wrestling teammate. You are entitled to an explanation. If nothing else, if his intentions are less than honorable, you will be putting him on alert that you have your guard up.

You should make up your own mind without letting others influence you with their own personal problems. And men are indeed exceedingly simple, and do in fact let the little head do most of their thinking (@evelyns_pet_zebra). Anyone who tells you otherwise is probably some dude intent on bedding you.

You need to set the rules for the relationships. You can’t let him use you like that. If he’s not honest with you and you can’t talk about this in honesty you don’t have a stable base for a relationship.

when he comes to visit, kick him in the crotch… that should send enough of a message I would imagine.

help him up afterwards though, no reason we can’t be civil about it ;)

I had a number of relationships like this back when I was in my late teens. I was maybe friends, maybe something more with a series of women, some of whom lived far away. My heart would be broken, and then they’d want to get together again, and we made plans (that included sex), and then it all fell apart due to circumstances that lead to the wrong messages being sent.

If you still like the guy, as a friend, then go visit him. Have a good time, or not. You’ll see when you get there. You’ll have to talk about the distance issue if things seem to be heading back towards a more serious relationship. Distance is really hard. Really hard. You’ll have to find out from him what he thinks he can do, and you need to think about the same thing. What are the rules? Can you see other people? How often will you get together? How often will you talk/message/email? What about sex?

You probably won’t be able to deal with all these things, so you may have to have an ongoing conversation. However, you won’t know about that unless you visit him and see what happens.

Okay, so I have to ask the obvious: why are you the one that gets to drive the 2 hours? What’s keeping him from driving to see you?

@ABoyNamedBoobs03 listen buddy, I’ve been a guy for almost fifty years. I know what I am talking about. Men think with their dicks, end of discussion. If you find that offensive, perhaps you should turn in your Man Card.

To quote a famous person: The mind of a man is murky and dark, beset with many traps and pitfalls, but compared to the mind of a woman, it is crystal clear.

@evelyns_pet_zebra who should I give it to? because if grabbing my nuts and carrying a “man card” means I’m incapable of making decisions without involving my desire to hump everything with legs then I’ll be happy to surrender it.
Just because you always think with your dick doesn’t mean I do in the least. I have a perfectly active sex life but I don’t need to get laid nor is it on my mind all the time.
oh they’re famous… they must be right.

@evelyns_pet_zebra LOL…you are so right, dude. All men think with their dicks. If they don’t, they aren’t much of a man!

I suppose that goes along with “if you’re not thinking about pussy… well you’re just not concentrating…

you do a good job of validating his point zendo.

Get off it dude. If you don’t see a beautiful woman and conjure up ways to bed her, then you aren’t doing your job as a dude. Or your hormones aren’t moaning. It isn’t about thinking about pussy all day long, 24/7…It is about thinking about pussy or getting some 10–12/7.

If you’re going to college and not letting your genes wander around all that young ass pussy, you are wasting valuable pubertyhood.

Why do you think Viagra sales + Viagra competition are about $8 billion a year?

Viagra sales don’t meet expectations

lol job as a dude? and what exactly is that? you’ll have to excuse me if getting laid isn’t my number one priority in life. I’m perfectly capable of going out to a bar and taking a pretty girl home whenever I please, but it certainly doesn’t encompass a majority of my time. like I said, just because you aren’t able to concentrate on something a bit more important than busting a nut doesn’t mean I’m the same as you. It has nothing to do with masculinity, I love sex, sports, beer and being a slob just as much as the next guy, but I don’t allow it to interfere with my goals as a human being.

@Boob… But age =/= intelligence or common sense. your responses are clearly evidence of that. LOL…What a moronic statement, I see why you call yourself boob.

You cannot possibly have goals as a human being. :)

@Zendo Maybe I can explain. Some guys sublimate their sexual desires into other directions. Sometimes it’s because they aren’t as successful as @ABoyNamedBoobs03 is at the bar. Sometimes it’s because of moral concerns they pick up somewhere along the way. There could be other reasons, too.

“What a moronic statement”

care to elaborate?

im leaving to go visit him later today because its my choice to go and i feel a need to go. however; im only going to hang out with him, as well as, his friends that i know that are going to be there, one of which is my best friend from home. i do plan on talking to him about the situation and his intentions and there will be no sexual contact between us, because one thing is for sure, i am NOT easy. ill let everyone knows how it goes when i get back! i never knew this post would let to so much discussion.

No boobie, I don’t.

congratulations to contributing to this site then it that case.

Well, I was gonna say, if the guy really wants to see you, than he’ll come see you, why should you have to go see him? He broke your heart.