Social Question

zl333's avatar

What is the best way to ask a woman out?

Asked by zl333 (1points) August 5th, 2009

How should I approach? what should I say?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

53 Answers

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

“I can not get you out of my mind. I would be honored if you joined me for dinner.”

dpworkin's avatar

Try being yourself, and asking her the way you would ask any friend. “There’s a _____ tonight at the _________. I’d love it if you came with me. Shall I get two tickets?

cwilbur's avatar

You don’t even need to be that formal. “Hey, want to go to dinner and see a movie?”

Quagmire's avatar

I always do it the way my ancestors did it – bang her over the head with a club, then drag her to the movies.

barumonkey's avatar

Say something unique. Unfortunately, due to the nature of this advice, I am not able to give you advice on how to go about using this advice.

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teh_kvlt_liberal's avatar

“Got a band aid? Cause I scraped my knees falling for you”

Sarcasm's avatar

“I have a penis, you have a vagina. Let’s see if they fit.”

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marinelife's avatar

Directly, without all the fanfare, works best for me and most women I know.

Many women, including me, would be at best skeptical and, at worst, worried you were a stalker if you said “I can’t get you out of my mind.”

I would much prefer something like, “Would you like to have dinner together this Saturday?” or “I’d like to take you out this weekend.”

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Marina meh, it depends on how they say it…you never know if they’re a stalker even if they say all the appropriate, for you, things…then again I am a hopeless romantic and love passionate but genuine statements…and besides I want to be someone they can’t get out of their minds, plain and simple.

wundayatta's avatar

I think it almost doesn’t matter what you say, as long as you are direct with your important message: “would you like to do ____ with me?” These things can be very awkward when you first start doing them.

What really matters is how you handle being told “no.” It happens. It doesn’t mean you are a horrible, ugly, undesirable guy. It might have nothing to do with you.

You will be disappointed, but there are plenty of other people you will like and want to ask out in your future. So don’t let it make you feel bad about yourself, should it happen. Don’t obsess over it. You’re fine. She just wasn’t the right girl at the right time.

MrBr00ks's avatar

I’m not sure. I started a conversation with my wife when I first met her about her name. It was on something she was holding. I have no idea why she stuck around. /shrugs

jamielynn2328's avatar

I would just start a conversation and go with the flow. If most women are like me, then men should know if they are receptive to the conversation. Don’t be afraid of rejection, and just go for it. Even if you get turned down, it will be that much easier the next time you ask a woman out. And the simpler the better, just say “hey, any way you could join me for dinner?”

Darwin's avatar

The man who became my husband and I started off with an argument about how much sugar goes into teriyaki sauce. He invited me over to dinner to demonstrate his recipe. I fell for it accepted his invitation.

I suggest being direct and forthright.

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veronasgirl's avatar

whatever you say, make sure you say it! Don’t let the opportunity pass you by.

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cyn's avatar

“Would you go out with me…._____night?”

drdoombot's avatar

Maybe I’m thinking about this too logically, but it doesn’t make sense to me to walk up to a completely strange woman and ask her out for dinner.

Zaku's avatar

@drdoombot: What thought has it not make sense to you?

drdoombot's avatar

Well, to give an example:

If I’m on the train and I see a beautiful young woman, I can’t see myself just walking up to her and saying, “Hello, I’m Victor. Would you like to have dinner with me sometime?”

In my mind, I can’t imagine why any woman would be interested in agreeing to the above proposition with a complete stranger.

Sarcasm's avatar

I’m with you, @drdoombot. I assumed that the OP was talking about a girl he at least knows a little bit, not just a stranger off the streets.

Likeradar's avatar

@drdoombot I’d be kinda freaked out if a guy did that without talking to me a little first. If we chat and seem to clique, it would be nice. But right off the bat, if I were on the train I might change seats.

Other than that though, it doesn’t really matter how a guy asks a gal out, as long as it’s sincere. Some stammering and awkwardness might even be endearing.

Quagmire's avatar

A woman would have to be crazy to quickly agree to go out with a guy she meets on the subway. With a train that’s going a long distance, there’s time to get a conversation going.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Quagmire yeah you’re right
i’ve been approached a lot on the subway and never did it materialize into anything
well there was this one guy and we made out for a bit on the subway and off the subway on the station but then I walked away…it was fun

Quagmire's avatar

Seriously? First meeting??

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Quagmire oh yeah, sometimes you gotta live life like it’s a book or a movie…so I do…no regrets…I believe his name was Anthony and he barely spoke any English…but our chemistry was immediate…it was lust at first site

Quagmire's avatar

Gee! Do you still take that train? What train was it again?? What car do you sit in usually???

Likeradar's avatar

@Quagmire Sure, if we’re really hitting it off. Just a simple “it was really nice talking to you… wanna continue this conversation over a cup of coffee?” It’s low pressure, and it implies a public place and a short date if things get weird.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Quagmire I do indeed – huge public transportation fan…but you know that was a once in a million kind of thing…as I’ve said there are a lot of advances on the train and I buy none of it

dannyc's avatar

With confidence. Picture in your mind what you want to achieve and go for it.

Bluefreedom's avatar

Approach her in a calm, cool, and collected manner and ask her out in a courteous way. This has worked for me in the past and I’m sure it would work for me in the future also.

Quagmire's avatar

Another thing I do is walk up to the woman and ask “How much do you charge?”

wundayatta's avatar

This is called picking up a woman. Usually it’s done in bars or clubs; places where women go to meet other people. It’s a lot harder on the street, but if a woman is not hurrying somewhere or another, you might get a chance to talk to her, then engage her in the conversation, and then ask her for coffee.

I don’t think it’s usually good to try too hard, or to say really corny or obvious lines unless you can say them ironically and get a laugh. Also, if you have a lot of confidence, that can be enough to make her interested in a stranger, especially if you are handsome or hot, or look rich (with the right woman). I think you have to tailor your approach depending on what she turns out to be like. In any case, you are looking for things you have in common, whether it’s the weird bird behavior happening over there, or you live near each other, or come from the same place, or like the same music. Whatever.

Some guys just wander around asking women if they wanna fuck. I’m told they occasionally get lucky. I’ve known women who did this (not with me). I guess that if you do things enough, there will be someone who feels an instant chemistry with you. I mean, look at @Simone_De_Beauvoir‘s story!

I never did this because I’m too sensitive to rejection or looking like an idiot. I’d rather that a woman be attracted by my conversation. Of course, I don’t have the option of being hot or having instant chemistry. You gotta develop a strategy that works for you, depending on what your assets are. If you’re like that guy in the HBO series, Hung, all you need, it appears, is a bulge in your pants. Some women like that kind of thing. Others like someone who is interesting. Still others prefer someone who is funny, or real, or a basket case (that they can mother). Some will never get picked up by a stranger. If you’re gonna do that kind of thing, you can’t let rejection bother you.

Of course, who am I to talk? I let rejection bother me. Never had a one-night stand, neither. Two to three nights, yes, but not one-night only.

CMaz's avatar

Do you know karate?
Because you are kick’en!

shipwrecks's avatar

Start a conversation about something – anything. The weather, her shoes, your shoes, how you’re running late, the fact that the drinks are too watered down, etc. Just get talking so that you have an in. My boyfriend did this, (he started a conversation about coffee since we were at Starbucks) and he ended our conversation by saying “can we continue this conversation over dinner next week?” Perfect.

Just remember to be yourself. There’s nothing worse than pretending to be something you’re not. Sooner or later you will get found out, and then you’ll feel like a real jerk… and she’ll feel like a big sap. Happy (lady) hunting! ;)

@Darwin the way your husband started a conversation is absolutely DARLING!

Darwin's avatar

@shipwrecks – He is darling in other ways, too, even if he still does put too much sugar in his sauce.

Quagmire's avatar

@shipwrecks, I don’t know about “start a conversation about anything”. I went up to a woman once and asked her “Do you use a dildo?” and she walked away. The other nuns standing there didn’t seem to like it either.

shipwrecks's avatar

@Quagmire Okay, maybe not anything. Try something nice. Like bunnies or puppies or rainbows. hahhaa.

Quagmire's avatar

@shipwrecks, good idea! Next time I’ll ask “What do you get if you cross a bunny with a puppy? A buppy!” or “How would you like to come to my place and see rainbows?”. That should work! Thanks!!

wundayatta's avatar

@Quagmire I think that if you showed a firearm hidden underneath your jacket, then you might be able to pick up a woman. Although I don’t know if the authorities would call it “picking up.”

Quagmire's avatar

Maybe I should hide it in the front of my pants! Couldn’t hurt (unless, of course, it goes off).

wundayatta's avatar

@Quagmire Yeah! That’s the ticket! Keeps you from having to carry extra hosiery around!

Quagmire's avatar

And you KNOW what a hassle that is!

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