Which is a more valid axiom: "be yourself" or "be whoever you want to be"?

You can be whoever you want to be, but at the end, you must find that ‘whoever you want to be’ is who you really are. They aren’t contradictory statements. But it will be good to always go searching, because you’ll never really know who you are till you’ve tried being others.

“Be whoever you want to be.”

Me being myself is me being a gluttonous sloth (get it? The 2 sins? huh?). That is definitely who I shouldn’t be.

Who am I?

Neither is more valid. They are two different ideas.

Be yourself assumes you have a given set of characteristics that you are born with or perhaps acquired unintentionally/naturally etc.

Be whoever you want to be is simple, decide what kind of person you want to be and strive to become like that, whether or not it is who you are naturally.

I find that a combination of these ideas is ideal.

I’m a creative, extraverted, hard to embarrass, adventuresome person and I would never try to become an accountant, or a recluse for example. I try and “be myself” and am not bashful or reserved.

I am also loud, slightly impatient, and quick to form opinions. These qualities I try and work on to become a better person. This is kind of being who I want to be.

@cyndihugs Describe your childhood self. This is “you” in the sense that those qualities in the particular mix and proportions make you unique. It’s a tricky topic to talk about. But acting naturally (though not without inhibitions) is maybe the easiest way to “be yourself”.

In high school this whole idea tripped me up. Everyone said “be yourself” and I asked who is that? Then (and this may not be your problem) I stopped trying to fit myself into a “type”.

Whoever you want to be and become, you are perforce yourself. There is no conflict.

I am who I am because to be anybody else would be living a lie. Life is too short to spend it being something you’re not.

be yourself.
whatever you become, you are still yourself, so it is always true.

be who you want to be is problematic though.
i want to be son goku, but well….

How about “be whoever you need to be”?

Or “become yourself.”

Whoever you want to be should be yourself.

There is only no conflict if you want to be yourself. If you wish you were someone else I think there is a pretty obvious conflict…

Perhaps you could modify it combining both into “Make Yourself.” In this sense, you are still honest to what you naturally are, but you are constantly trying to improve bit by bit into a better version of you. That, of course, is assuming everyone wants to become a better version of themselves—the “whoever you want to be” part.

What you “want” is rooted in who you are. It all makes sense if you think of yourself as a process rather than one fixed thing. At each moment you should act in accordance with who you are, but part of who you are is a vision of what you are striving to be.

Pretend, conform, act, mellow; whatever one should do and encounter their ‘real self’ will always be on display regardless of whether they’re aware of such or not. Atleast this is what I have found through (admittedly limited) experience.

They’re both equally valid.
But the latter is more interesting.

Just “BE”

“Be yourself” is advice given when it seems like someone is trying so hard to please others, that they are trying to change their personality into something unnatural for them. That kind of pretending just can’t be carried off. People see through it, and if they don’t, you really don’t want to be stuck in the position of acting all the time. It’s too much of a strain, and you start to forget how to be the person you are most natural being.

“Be whoever you want to be” is about your aspirations. It means you shouldn’t shut down your aspirations because you don’t think you can achieve them. It means don’t shut yourself down, or set your sights any lower than what you really want. It does not mean you will get to being whoever you want to be, but you have no chance if you stop yourself before you start.

For both of these things, it’s about no fakery. No fooling yourself or others. It’s just not worth it. It makes you feel bad about yourself, and it doesn’t fool anyone else. When you are yourself and when you go after your real desired, then you are sincere and honest, and people respect that. If they tell you you can’t do it, you have to ignore them. They may or may not be right, but if you don’t try, you’ll always wonder if you could have been happier. In any case, most of the happiness is in trying, not in actually succeeding. That’s generally a let-down.

The thing about all this is that you are yourself, even if you try to be someone else. It just gets confused and makes you anxious. You will always have your own dreams, even if you aren’t chasing them. But not chasing them will make you feel less, and is dishonest, too, no matter what anyone else says. You may look a fool to others, but you are holding onto the trueness of your own personality, and that makes being a fool into an insignificant thing. You can’t let your worry about what others think change you into something you are not. It just doesn’t work.

It just doesn’t work.

Both axioms suck, since they ultimately presume a self. And yes, that has practical implications.

A better one would be “Do whatever feels right and always examine your motives and you’ll be the best person you can be.”