When you recognize someone in emotional turmoil, is there a bit of you more afraid to speak out to them than to offer up advice, observation, support, etc?

I’m gonna have to say ‘yes’ because two paragraphs in, I was running away.

I agree, I don’t like to see people in emotional turmoil, but I don’t want to seem intrusive either. If I offer them some help, and they accept it, great. If I offer and they refuse, well, then I have overstepped my bounds and I apologize for it.

I did this Friday night, as one of the regular parts shuttle drivers was having a rotten evening. I found a way to make him smile, gave him a good laugh and he left work in a much better mood than when he came in. Surely, it would make the rest of his evening better, and help those he met after he left me, like his family, etc. Sometimes, a simple smile or affectionate comment can change a whole person’s outlook.

Smiles are free, and don’t cost us anything, but sometimes, they are worth the whole world to someone else.

…What are you smoking?

I get the question but I’m still trying to get through what the hell you said…I’m so confused.

To answer the question though, I’m kind of a busy body know it all so I give advice every chance I can get.

(Isn’t that why we’re on this site to begin with?)

Since I deal with up to 175 teenagers/day, people in emotional turmoil are a constant. If they are so upset that it is obvious to the people around them, you have to do something. Sometimes I can give advice, sometimes it just needs to be encouragement, sometimes it’s a referral to counseling, and sometimes it’s just a pass to wash their face and walk around the quad. Most of the time it works, but rarely does ignoring it help.

I’m more likely to rush right in. It hurts to see people struggling with something. Anything, really. An ear to rant in, a shoulder to cry on, a hug… you need it? It’s yours.

I have no problem asking people if they are okay and trying to provide some comfort to them, even strangers. I’ve had people do it for me and I know what a huge difference it has been for me in the past. Sometimes people refuse but at least I can walk away knowing that they know someone cared enough about them to ask.

I have had those feelings in the past. But helping someone always feels really good. If you see someone you think might need a friend or just someone to talk to, if you feel nervous or scared about it, just remind yourself how good BOTH of you will feel if you offer your help. They might reject you, but hey, at least you gave it the old college try, and like the gentleman above me said, at least they know someone cares enough to at least ask.

I love the idea of ‘lets not name it, let’s enjoy it’

So many times things go entirely off the tracks when you choose to put a label on it. Why bother. With certain words come certain expectations and associations. Depending on your field of reference, that could either be very good…or very bad.

So…dip a toe, then jump right in if it feels like the right thing to do

@lazydaisy: the whole thing about, “what are we, what are we doing, what is this?”- that’s so stressful and exactly as you say, it pushes to create expectations and associations outside of what’s taking place. I’m exploring this new way of being present and finding it a hell of lot more constructive and nurturing, so much so I wanted to share.

@hungryhungryhortence Thanks for sharing it with us. :)