Generally speaking, when are you too young to have sex?

i think no one asked about the poster’s age because of the rush of ensuing “it doesn’t matter what age he is” v. “such and such an age is the minimum”.

i was frankly shocked no one said “wait til you’re married”. but those days are gone, i suppose.

0–14

I personally definitely wanted to wait until 16, and until I suddenly felt ready for one reason or other and saw no point in waiting I was going to wait until 17. But 16 it was and I had no hassles. Therefore I think 16 is ok, as long as all parties involved are completely ready. So 0–15 is probably too young, but I mean it is their choice if they feel ready and think they’re in love, maybe 15 is ok too. Before that, I’m not so sure.

I think the two sides should be able to decide for themselves, as isn’t it there decision? it gives them a chance to take responsibility of a choice that will affect the rest of their lives. doesn’t it feel nice to have power.

but the law says my mind is “too premature” to think clearly about that matter

I think that when you plan to have sex to “get it over with” you are ipso facto too immature to understand what it is about lovemaking that makes it so appealing to couples who care for one another.

When you have to ask, “How can I tell if s/he likes me?”

When you have to ask how to get a condom?

When you have to ask how the other gender’s body functions.

When you have to ask the other teenage virgins on Fluther if it is time to have sex?

I lost my virginity when I was 13, to a girl two years older.

I’ve been fine ever since.

I think it’s less about social stigma, rules or whatever – it’s totally a subjective thing. As I’m sure people will note, it’s the mentality of the people involved, age gap, etc. There is no definitive answer here.

<—Too young.

I feel more or less the same about it as you do. Yes, below 12 is unthinkable, and after that it depends on the psychological age, rather than the biological. I don’t even feel comfortable when some of my 17-year-old students mention it. There is this idea that once you’re 18 you’re an adult and then everything goes, but I doubt I’d feel comfortable about my daughter having sex, even if she were 30.

I think part of it is also the person’s gender, maturity and also partner. I remember having a 16-y-old student who was quite mature for her age and had a boyfriend her age whom she loved and had been together with for about a year. I did not feel uncomfortable when she told me she had sex with him, and found it normal. I also imagined my daughter being that age one day, and thought I’d like her to turn out more or less like this girl. Then I had her sister, who, from the moment she turned 15, would do it with all sorts of guys, some of them obviously jerks. Most of them were much older than her, none of them lasted more than a couple of months, and even though she’d always claim to be madly in love, it was only a few weeks before she’d be telling me what a bastard the now ex-boyfriend had been. Now that certainly didn’t make me feel very comfortable, especially since I am friends with their parents, and even though the younger sister is now 17, I still feel she’s doing it wrong and worry about her.

I think although people are physically ready to have sex around the age of 16, my opinion is that most 16 yr. olds still have a skewed perception of life, love, and responsibility. There are possible consequences to having sex, and I think that unless someone is able to take on those they shouldn’t be having sex. Most of the 16–17 yr. olds I’ve known have thought they had it all about figured out, but in actuality did not. If I have to throw a number out there for this question’s sake, I’d say 21-ish is the appropriate age to think about having sex.

When you’re comfortable with your body enough that whatever happens biologically during sex (farts, cramps, etc.) won’t “ruin the mood.” When you can verbally talk openly with your partner about sex, about everything that happens during it and afterwards. When you know how to handle the aftermath, no matter what the outcome, maturely. When you don’t feel the need to broadcast it to the world that you lost your virginity.

I think you are ready when you don’t have a question in your mind on the safety of sex and you feel that you are ready. I think their will always be partners you will think back on and be like ohhh well maybe i wouldn’t have if I knew what I knew now but that’s only natural. I think it should be done because you actually want to do it…not because you want to fit in or you feel like you should…

If you have to ask, you’re too young,

I lost mine when I was thirteen, seemed fine. 12 may have been a little weird though I’d imagine.

13? My god…

If you aren’t ready to take the responsiblities that come along with having sex such as STD’s and pregnancy then you aren’t ready!

I don’t think it matters, I have a few girlfriends who were 12, they are fine and stuff, so it depends on when the individual feels ready

@le_inferno ? I fail to see how that warrants a “my god…” reaction.

i lost mine when i was 16, but really it depends on the person. i really believe older women (25–30 yrs) when they say sex is significantly better now that they are older. And i’ve already come to realize that 3 years later…so maybe waiting a little longer to have sex is worth it. It could be better.

@ABoyNamedBoobs03 and I agree, one of my ex boyfriends lost his when he was 12, said it was fine.

I lost my virginity when I was 13, and I did other sexual acts as young as 11 or 12. I know that was way too young. I think 16–17 sounds better. 18+ would be ideal

I was 10, she was 9, we both came out just fine