Let's sort animals into political parties.

The dolphins always seemed like some pretty liberal dudes to me.

Badgers are libertarians and pigeons are anarchist.

Eagles are independent.

Why party would a Penguin be sorted in?

I’d say that cats are libertarian.

They pride themselves on being independent and self-sufficient. They are keen on property rights and ownership. They like to do their own thing without restrictions.

Cats would be Libertarian, but dogs would be Republican. Very loyal.

Armadillos are obviously republican. Because fuck you, that’s why.

@Sarcasm I have no idea why, but I lol4rl’d.

Horses are hard workers and I’d say democrats. Pegasus and unicorn? How about elite democrats, or party leaders?

@Grisaille, I laughed too, and I do know why. It’s not because of armadillos or Republicans, although it is a great answer. It’s because “Because fuck you, that’s why.” is a great line all by itself.

@Sarcasm Armadillos are thick skinned. That’s why. Armor shell even.

How else can they handle the beating that they get from the media and comedians?

GA!

Bats would be a good symbol for the GOP, being bloodsuckers and all. Of course a Dingo might work as well as many Republicans have been known to eat babies.

Birds would make a great addition to any party for their ability to make noise randomly for long periods of time: filibuster as it were.

Rabbits would be republicans. They certainly don’t believe in birth control.

Naked mole rats are unaffiliated.

Polecats: Blue Dog Democrats.

@Tink1113 Penguins are Hollywood liberal Deomocrats – always dressed up to go to fundraisers!

I was also going to say cats are libertarians.

Dogs are whatever their masters are; “Yup, yup1”

Now, lions – lions are clearly Republicans. Top of the food chain, eat or be eaten, don’t give a shit about anyone else.

Pigs – republican, as in greedy as, igorant as, indolent as….(mind you pigs are pretty cool creatures deep down…republicans are nauseating)

Seagulls
Can be career politicians of any color, as long as they are politicians.
They make a lot of noise, are all over the place and when they leave… well, the whole place is covered in sh#t.

Armadillos?
Hell yeah, they love Texas.

Raccoons
Seem like Democrats to me. I like them, but many consider them a pest.

Snakes
Ever since J.K. Rawling created Slytherin, I feel these must be republican, faithful members of GOP.

Well, in my opinion dingoes are probably Atheists, because atheists eat babies, and rabbits are Catholic, because of the birth control, but the political designations are spot on so far. =)

Maybe Herbivores are Democrats, Carnivores are Republican, and Omnivores are Independents?

Hahaha… I actually wrote a “quiz” about this once… Here you go.

Pet & personality test:

It seems that people who hate cats, REALLY hate cats. I’m not sure why that is. Maybe they had mean cats when they were younger, maybe they had a rough encounter with a stray, but mostly I think it’s just a sort of “the thing to say.” Usually these people have no good reason for the hatred, and insist that dogs are better. Blah blah blah. It’s like an eharmony.com test for a pet.

My opinion is that all pets have good companionship qualities about them, and it’s just a matter of what animal matches you. So go ahead and find out your furry form compatibility!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. When you have to poop, which of the following most closely describes your routine?
a. Go to designated space to drop off the kids, get rid of it, clean up after yourself in a private civilized manner
b. Whine until someone leads you somewhere appropriate, run away from drop zone (sometimes running through it) and wait for someone else to clean it up; also possibility of tasting poop after drop off.
c. Poop right where you’re standing, even if it’s right on someone.

2. If you’re lost in the woods, you would most likely:
a. Climb a muthafuckin tree and retrieve your muthafuckin lunch!
b. Eat leaves, dirt, eventually die of malnutrition.
c. Stand around, sure that you know what your doing, then get eaten by a bear in less than 72 hours.

3. Your opinion on rape is:
a. I’m over it.
b. I like to rape from behind in a sneaky manner; sometimes young children think I’m “dancing” with my victims.
c. Invasions of all kinds are justifiable even if the ok isn’t ever given and I’ll be there as long as I damn well please.

4. Opinion of Welfare:
a. If you’re not handicapped, then you should be able to figure out how to survive without it. If not, tough shit.
b. Tax the rich higher so they can pay for my food, shelter, and health care. Everyone has a right to everything! Spread the wealth! Go socialism!
c. Tax everyone but me, then I’ll have a nice 4 lb. lobster on your coin.

5. Level of independence:
a. High- I can eat, groom, wander, play, survive, and poop all by myself- I need no training or direction from others. I rule.
b. Low- Will you take me for a walk today and tie me to a leash so I don’t run off and get lost? Don’t forget the poop bag. That shit ain’t gonna pick up itself.
c. Medium- I fare pretty well, but I use other people’s waste to my advantage. I eat tin cans and dirty diapers, then sell my cheese to fancy French people.

6. How do you respond to people who are different from you?
a. Indifferent- You do your thing, I’ll do mine. Maybe we’ll hang sometimes.
b. As long as you have a treat and will scratch my head so I can remain lazy and dependent, you’re ok in my book.
c. I will stomp you in the nuts.

7. A mail truck drives by your house. You think:
a. It’s a mail truck, big deal. It is of no value to me because I don’t need it to complete my life.
b. Gotta have it! Gotta have it! I don’t know what I’ll do with it once I have it, but it looks pretty and white and I could be the first one like me to sit in the driver’s seat! panting
c. I could strip that thing and manipulate it just the way I want… chewing up and shitting out the little pieces all the way to the end.

8. Generalized view on religion:
a. Let whoever do whatever and leave me out of it!
b. I’ll do whatever Madonna is doing.
c. Everyone should be Christian because it’s the one and only way. Also, Jesus was white, not brown!

9. The car of your dreams is:
a. If Buick made a hybrid- Family friendly, safe, practical, fuel efficient. Save my life, save some $, possibly save some trees.
b. A car that runs on morning dew and rainbows and looks like a vintage VW bus filled with puppies and cupcakes…and special brownies. Also, they would be issued by the government welfare system.
c. An ocean liner.

10. Assuming you are an American citizen, this November, you voted for:
a. Nobody, or at least nobody you’ve heard of. I don’t need a government to spend my taxes for me, set boundaries, or tell me how to live.
b. Barack-O- I love that he speaks so inspirationally; I think his charm will outweigh the fact that he has no real plan for the economy, Iraq and other foreign affairs. Free health care for all! Use fluorescent light bulbs! There. Fixed it.
c. McCain- He’s the only one who supports my blood lust to obliterate the Middle East, and hopefully Mexico one day. It’s just too bad Bush can’t get another couple of terms.

If you answered mostly (a) then you probably understand that nobody is exactly the same, so there is no need for one person or one body of people should decide the fate of millions of people. Laws will always be broken, so the more there are, the more will be disobeyed. You are strong and independent and don’t need to mooch off of other peoples’ wealth or weaknesses. Get yourself a cat.

If you answered mostly (b) then you’re selfish and unrealistic. You believe that everyone is entitled to prosperity and “there should be a law for that!” All people should get government handouts even if they don’t contribute to the pot of life. If everyone would just work together, the world would be happy! But you don’t realize that not everyone wants the same things that you do. Lofty ideas give birth to a healthy 8 lb pile of shit. Get yourself a dog. And a backbone.

If you answered mostly© then you are selfish and overbearing. Everyone else’s success is yours for the taking. Nobody matters but you. Yours is the only agenda. You have an unusually long life line despite the fact that you don’t accomplish much in a day and you cause more destruction than good. You don’t care who hates you, as long as you get what you want. Get yourself a goat.

@Fluther I hope nobody is offended. This was intended for a laugh, and I realize these are mean and inaccurate stereotypes.

I disagree, I think Seagulls would be Republicans.
I just watched Finding Nemo, and all the seagulls say is “mine! mine! mine!” I imagine that is what goes through a repubs mind when the thought of taxes come up.

I also think dogs would be socialist.

what about our Jellies? I think the jellyfish would be utopians (at least that’s what it seems like when I’m here!)

Here are some ideas that have been around for a few decades:

“The monkeys stand for honesty,
Giraffes are insincere,
And the elephants are kindly but
Theyre dumb.
Orangutans are skeptical
Of changes in their cages,
And the zookeeper is very fond of rum.

Zebras are reactionaries,
Antelopes are missionaries,
Pigeons plot in secrecy,
And hamsters turn on frequently.

At the Zoo
Simon and Garfunkel

@ratboy That made me think of this naked mole rat. ::giggle::

Lions: Republicans, for obvious reasons.
.
Tigers: see Lions.
.
Elephants? Democrats. They are herd animals and sensible and wise.
.
Donkeys? You guessed it. Republicans. For obvious reasons (though not the same ones as lions and tigers).

ants = new labour

Democrats = Bees: Creatures who are harmless alone but terrifying in a group, collect a little bit from everything within a reasonable distance to contribute to a single project and are usually led by a single leader who has slept with everything.

Republicans = Cats: Stubborn animals who are pleasant enough until you start using a different type of food or put their litter box in the wrong space in which case they will kill you in your sleep.

Third Party Candidates = Crane Flies: Few people like them and even fewer understand why they exist.

I can’t believe there are so many closed minded, nasty, intolerant, hypocritical, hateful, elitists on here. At least I admitted to joking in my response and meant no offense.

@Nially_Bob : Is that really what you think of anyone who doesn’t conform to one of the two major parties? If that’s true then it’s sad. Maybe they’re not liked because people don’t understand them. Maybe people don’t understand them because they don’t want to.

I’m seeing a lot of this recently. We’re so intolerant of someone else’s political views. We’re warming up to different races, sexual orientations, religions, etc. but when it comes to a belief about politics, then if you’re anything remotely outside the box, then you’re automatically wrong. Republican? Well, you must eat kittens for breakfast! Democrat? Then you must be a communist! Third party? Then you must be a hippie squatter!

I thought Fluther was more open minded and tolerant than this. I’m disappointed.

I apologise for the misunderstanding @ubersiren but my comment was entirely facetious. I merely intended to make light of stereotypes (though few do vote for third parties obviously). I myself am a political centrist.

@ubersiren some folks are intollerant of political parties like say…the Nazi party or the Ku Klux Klan, ton ton macoute, the British National Party and so forth, or even (gasp) the war mongering, technocratic, territorialist, republican murder squad, blow it to kingdom come if we can’t own it, party.

@ubersiren Oh come on, I think the whole point of this question was meant to be funny. If you want to take it seriously, this question wouldn’t even make any sense because, let’s face it, sorting out animals into political parties is stupid; animals which have one particular characteristic stereotypical of a political party would have other characteristics stereotypical of other political parties. More importantly, why should the animals even care? If anything, they aren’t affiliated to any political party.

In which case.. Oh crap.. Help! The independents are swamping the polls!

Umm, clearly it wasn’t the animals, it was the descriptions of the parties. Some responses were funny and some seemed mean. I don’t apologize for being offended, but I will say that I’m sorry I was so touchy. I’ve been beaten politically in recent days. I didn’t realize there was so much hatred for anyone who merely questions the norm. I’ve been cruelly surprised.

@ubersiren But likewise, making fun of political parties isn’t fun unless you stereotype them. Heck, making fun of anything isn’t fun unless you stereotype it because as three-dimensional entities, everything has so properties and characteristics that to identify them by one is kinda silly.

@boots your first comment made me snort

Penguins are whoever dresses up for fundraisers most. Very posh.