Do you believe in compromise, or do you think one person is actually getting their way?

Sometimes compromise is described as occurring when both parties walk away unhappy.

I am not sure that always applies, however, I do think compromise exists. I think compromise is very often the way to go. It is not a skill we teach in our society though so people are left in the dark.

It is critical to identify the elements of an issue most important to you. Then to try very hard to put yourself in the other party’s shoes and identify the same thing for them. While you want to give some to the other side, you want to avoid giving away your core needs.

If you work toward a win, win solution with good will, successful compromise is possible.

But both parties have to want a solution.

I think compromise is an important tool in negotiation, a tool that our lawmakers in Washington (on both sides of the aisle) seem to have completely forgotten about

it depends on if you’re good at it or not. a compromise can be fair, but only if both parties have the intention to make it fair.

I’m fine with compromise just as long as I get my way.

Sometimes both sides win in a compromise. Think mediation rather than divorce attorneys.

There’s pride, and there’s practicality. In the long run, a lot of harms become irrelevant. We have our whole lives to get through. We’ve got better things to do than to fight.

Compromise. Or stay stuck. Depends how you want to live your life. Me? I’d rather get on with it.

I believe in both.

There are times when I compromise, that is to say give up some of what I want knowing the other person gives up some of what they want.

Then there are times where my wife just gets her way. For instance, I may have an opinion or preference on a room color that differs from her’s but I know it means more to her than to me so I let her have her way. It means more to me that she like the room than I do.

And no she isn’t standing behind me with my Simpson’s Dvd collection and a lighter making me type this.

I am fine with it, but I know people that will not compromise, and will not stop whining about it.

Compromise to me is different than saying I’m going to let someone have their way because it’s not worth fighting for. I believe in compromise when it benefits two or more, I don’t believe in “not rocking the boat” disguised as compromise.

@hungryhungryhortence That is a good point.

Piggy back question: What if you feel like you have to compromise every day in a marriage (this is not me, it is a family member…I could not do it, I would resent the other person after a while, which she does. It is nothing very upsetting or serious, little things like she likes to leave the house at a certain time and he is always late, he thinks she shouldn’t be so rigid. Or, she doesn’t like to eat out a lot and he wants to do it more, things like that) could you live that way?

@JLeslie‘s piggyback question: what your relative is doing is filling a reservoir of discontent and bitterness below a surface of calm and nothing positive will grow from that.

@hungryhungryhortence I agree with you. The husband keeps saying things like, “all people compromise in marriages,” a shrink kind of reinforced this, or at least that is how the couple interpreted the therapists words. They both seem unhappy to me. The most difficult part is the wife wants to be left alone and do what she wants to do, and the husband wants to be together all of the time…they have been married over 40 years, they will be miserable forever.

There are certain things I will not compromise but for the right person I would compromise anything that doesn’t fit into the ‘things simone can’t compromise’