How to make the people around my happy and delighted with my presence?

Try to connect with people over things that are important to you.
If there’s a disagreement with someone, let the little stuff go.

Have a good sense of humor. There are many forms of comedy and joke telling. I personally use puns and witty remarks. Learn your style with trial and error.

Be comfortable around people and be humble. Don’t try too hard to stand out, i.e. avoid telling only jokes, only compliments, only talking about yourself, etc. No one likes a predictable person, except a cheap psychic.

…why do you want to make people delighted by your presence?

It seems you know what your problems are. Work on them. Get help from a professional. They have classes to teach people with Aspergers how to socialize, so I don’t see why the same classes wouldn’t work for others.

Do you even really care to be around others? If not, what’s the point of changing?

I’m sure you can find other people like you, perhaps who even share your interests. There must be internet sites for you. Use them to find people like you.

Who exactly do you want to delight and bring happiness to? Know your audience.

Find something sincere and nice to say about them.

“You know, I think that is a great color for you.”
“I noticed your vegetable garden. I don’t think I have ever seen such healthy looking pumpkin plants. How do you do that?”

Charm is the ability to make others feel truly good about themselves.

Be a good listener. Ask questions about them. My husband cracks me up. We will meet someone and my husband will do all the talking. All the other person did was listen and nod. When he leaves he says, “That was such a nice person!” People love people who are genuinely interested in them.

Maybe you need to change your crowd. You sound like an introvert; I am one as well. When I’m with extroverts, I find myself rolling my eyes and getting annoyed with a lot of what I’m hearing. When I’m in a different (usually intellectual) crowd though, I find myself more interested in listening and contributing to the conversation.

Hand puppets?

I agree with @drdoombot

To expand further on what @Judi said, listen to what people talk about to learn their interests.

A co-worker likes gardening? Drop off a pack of seeds on her desk with a note: “Saw these and thought of you.”

The guys are into the local team? On casual dress day wear the team t-shirt and have read up on the latest so you can talk about it.

Think of this project as an aspect of advancing in your career even if it does not come naturally to you.

it’s either charisma (which just comes naturally) or the joy and Spirit of God in you.

@charliecompany34 Love you, guy, but I don’t think either of those is necessary for basic social skills. Happy and delighted may be a harder sell requiring divine intervention.

As @Judi said and as others have said in answers to other questions, learn how to be a good listener. People will think you are terrific if you can figure out how to be their audience.

@mea05key Sounds like you have two things you want. You want to retain your privacy and your separation from the intrusion of people. And… at some level you realize that people and relationships are necessary for your own well-being. You see that you feel better and get more goodies when people are happy and delighted with your presence.

I can relate. But I’ve come to enjoy certain social opportunities. Here’s what I do:

1. I’m careful about what invitations I say yes to.
2. If I’m not enjoying a conversation, I try to duck out. (I could be better at this – I don’t want the person to feel there’s something wrong with them.)
3. I notice what social gatherings I enjoy, and go back!
4. I look for things to be fascinated with in people. For me, I’ve gotten way into the Enneagram, so I’m frequently listening for someone’s type as they talk. I can see that sometimes this is a defense mechanism for me. But hey, it helps me understand them and speak in their language, and I love it. Good luck!

There are socialization classes in the local colleges, and you can also find ‘charm school’ classes and acting classes in your local area.

It;s a gift. When I walk into a room butterflies appear and dance across the ceiling, angelic choruses resound and smiles appear on every face.

It has always been thus.

Ask people how they are doing and really listen to the answer. Remember things that are going on and ask them about it. Practice listening well and people will flock to you even if you are a quiet type.

@galileogirl – LURVE!!!! Great answer . hehe.

I tried to bring my own doves once and let them lose in a grand gesture announcing my arrival. They flew out, one died the other three attacked me and crapped on my head as they flew away.

From now on we should refer to @galileogirl as either Snow White or Aurora.

Definitely NOT Snow White!

Tinker bell?

You could read Dale Carnegie’s book. It’s been around a long time, but a lot of what’s in it still rings true today.

Have any of these responses been helpful to you, @mea05key?

Take an active and honest interest in other people.

maybe you’re gossiping, chit-chatting, and hanging out with the wrong people.
or you’re looking at them too cynically. think of the people you interact with in a more positive light, and as @mattbrowne said, become genuinely interested in them. and become interested in yourself! if you’re interested in them and you, conversation should be awesome. and practice on fluther. we jellies love being happy and delighted. at least i do

@Trustinglife
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and advice.

Thanks to all “jellies” for the great response. + 1 lurve to all !