What are some common things that people write on a personal profile that never fail to turn you off?

Not a big fan of people putting things like “books suck” or “none” under the “Favorite Books” category that is so common on personal profiles and such. Also, not a big fan of people putting only a few modern emo or rap bands as their “favorite music”; seems to show a small variety of musical interest.

I hate it when like old people write their goddamn life story. I mean seriously, no one cares, you’re old, you have a few seconds to live, stop trying to make your life seem interesting. I also have a grudge against people who are like “MEHTULL!!!” and they put avenged sevenfold on their favorite bands. Piss off! THEY ARE NOT METAL FFS. And it really bothers me like when there’s a hot chick and their relationship status is taken or something.

I, for one, cannot stand when people say, “music is my life!!!1” Really, music is your life? That’s pretty damn sad. You could not have picked a better way to inform me that you are devoid of any substance. It’s one thing if you’re a musician, and music literally is your “life.” But I swear if I see another 15 year old girl with odes to a bunch of obscure emo bands on her MySpace, obnoxiously proclaiming “MUSIC IS MY LIFE.” on her About Me, I will scream. No, music is not your life. You just have a dumb infatuation with a bunch of grungy, psuedo-intellectual guys in tight clothes. But I’m glad you felt the need to simplify your existence to the music you choose to listen to. Well done.

Also—Dominic beat me to it, but people who write in their “Favorite books:” section “LOL WHO THE HELL READS,” should not be allowed on the internet.

@DominicX Totally agree with your comment about the music section. I will automatically assume you are boring if your music section consists solely of: “Dave Matthews, Jack Johnson, Kanye West, T-Pain, Lil Wayne”...Let me know when you find a unique personality.

@teh_kvlt_liberal Oh boy, do you have a lot of growing up to do!

Nah I’m halfway there!
Live fast die young!

@le_inferno

My brother would always complain about how people at school he knew didn’t like any music that was “old” and for them “old” meant pre-2008. People who like only the current 2007+ music make it seem as if they only like music because it’s popular and don’t really like it. I actually do like a lot of today’s modern R&B and pop music, but I also like music dating back as far as 1642, so obviously I don’t care how “old” music is.

I hate it when someone puts
”I love my boyfriend.” what do I care if you love him or not? Keep it to yourself.

@Tink1113

I’m puttin’ that on my profile here right now. ;)

I have to disagree though. For me, it just makes me feel glad for them, nothing negative.

@DominicX
haha :)

well yeah I understand but to put that as your headline? wtf?
Ok I have to admit, in my Last.fm I have a sign that’s says I <3 you. But it’s not directed towards anyone. It’s just in general so that when someone enters the page they can feel special :)

@Tink1113 Worrrd. I hate when people brag and try to make their life seem awesome. When they write like, “I have an amazing boyfriend, great friends, and a supportive family. I couldn’t ask for more.” Nice work taking the time to prove how stable and secure you are.

“I like X, Y, and long walks on the beach.”

Ugh ugh ugh. Where did that ever come from? Why do such a large number of people say it! Why!

@girlofscience Lol. I’m pretty sure now most people say the ‘long walks on the beach’ thing to be ironic and humorous. There can’t possibly be anyone who still says it seriously… or is there?!
Either way, it’s overdone and annoying, I agree.

I HATE the couples that insist on writing out their entire relationships ups and downs (complete with all the details on the latest fight) on their status and mood. It actually makes me sick to my stomach when I read about how they hate each other then 2 hrs. later they are so in love. I wish that they would fucking spare me and either keep their relationship private as it should be or get the fuck away from each other PLEASE!

Just thought I’d say that I’d never fully judge anyone on any of these things. An internet profile isn’t exactly a full window into their lives. My boyfriend had “who reads books?” under his favorite books on a profile once and it’s true that he doesn’t really read books. But from looking at that, you can’t tell that he’s a talented artist and that there are other interests he has. I couldn’t judge someone based on something like that. These are just things that give me “bad vibes” in a general sense.

“I’m a social media specialist who works for a top marketing firm.”

Ok I shouldn’t say hate because I don’t like that word (Heat of the moment it happens) I shall replace HATE with LOATHE. Much better!

@le_inferno: Yeah, I totally never understood it! I didn’t really think it was serious, but I also didn’t understand how it was supposed to be funny.

@sjmc1989: Related to the couples thing, what annoys me more are couples who post ridiculous over-the-top tributes to their relationship all over their only profiles. And it’s funny…any couple that does that never actually lasts. Clearly it’s just for show because anyone who feels the need to advertise their love to that extent probably doesn’t actually have it.

I also hate people who try too hard to be “edgy” and “offensive”. Like they’ll be like “Don’t get off my bad side!” or “I’m not always nice“or “I’m not for the easily offended”. Like shut the fuck up. You know who was offensive and edgy? GG Fucking Allin. He ate his own shit and pissed on the audience in concerts. No matter what you do, you’ll never be hardcore as the man. So shut up, you were born a pussy, and you’ll die a pussy, pussy.

@teh_kvit_liberal
lurve just for mentioning gg allin.. hilarious.

Lmao @teh_kvlt_liberal. Reminds me of the people who convey the “I’m a bitch and proud!” attitude… cough Righteous cough :P
Like the kinds of women who drive around in their Ford Taurus with a “DANGER! BITCH ON BOARD” sticker in their rear window.

Hahahahaha….righty….I haven’t even seen her here yet
And I didn’t know Dominic has a boyfriend!

@le_inferno

haha…Righteous…I remember that bitch…(no offense, but she was pretty awful to me on several occasions).

@teh_kvlt_liberal

You betcha. As of July 20th this summer. There’s a big story about my first kiss and all that in this thread: http://www.fluther.com/disc/49908/what-was-your-first-kiss-like/

It’s been one awesome summer.

:)

Aw man, even the russian muffin is getting some!

I hate anybody who has a MySpace page.

Oh, and I hate when people mention they’re vegetarian, like I’m supposed to feel guilty for eating meat or something.

I think it’s okay if some bands have myspace and I just want to hear a sample or two. But I do agree about the vegetarian thing.

I also hate myspace.

I don’t put I’m vegeterian, it’s just in my hobbies. But I’m not like “Im a vegetarian you should be one too.”

i hate when under activities or interests people put “I just like hanging out with friends, listening to music, watchin movies.” of course you do thats what everyone does you dumbass

Okay I have three. One, when people list EVERY single band they have ever listened to in their music section. in alphabetical order. yeah, you totally didn’t just copy that from your i-tunes, jackass. Two, people that wRiTe lIK3 th1sssss! OMG K1ll me N0wwwwwwwWwWwWw! Doesn’t it seem like it takes MORE effort to write that way than to just type like a normal person? and three, when people write in their profile how much they like to get stoned and/or drunk and play beer pong. Seriously? no one cares that you are a loser…

sorry for the rant

@photographcrash

Getting drunk and playing beer pong do not make you a loser. I would know. :)

What I mean is this is their only interest. As in, that is all they do.

I’ll admit, that I get a bit put off when I see people write (and I’ve seen this a lot) “I am a very complicated person. Blah blah blah. I am so unique. Blahhhhhhhhhh. Look at me, look at me, look at me.” Too tired to rant more.

Whenever people’s movie interests are just the pure generic action movie of the moment.

Examples include:
TRANFORMERS 2!!!!
Star Trek!!
GI JOE!!!!!
etc

And I hate it when people put “anything but country” or “anything but techno” in their favorite music section.
I happen to like both of those, assholes!!!

Hmmm…what else…?

As someone mentioned earlier, the alphabetical listing of every band you’ve ever listened to (even if it was only once and you don’t even really like it) is also really annoying.

Also, when people’s absolute top interest and priority is “COLLEGE FOOTBALL, WOOOO!!!” and every tagged picture of them is pretty much them holding a beer, at a party/college football game, drunk, or passed out. That’s annoying. Take an interest in something outside the box…you don’t have to arbitrarily like something just because everyone else does.

@girlofscience So true! And I have to wonder Are they not embarrassed of themselves? Guess not or they wouldn’t do it. It would sure embarrass the hell out of me if my boyfriend did shit like that but hey thats just me!

Whenever people are a little too enthusiastic to admit that they love drinking and partying way too much.

So, you have no self-control? That’s so great!

Generic quotations about love, laughing, depression or whatever.

What bothers me most? Drawing wild conclusions about people when reading their personal blurbs.

“straight-acting.”

@cwilbur

I hate that phrase with a passion…

@mattbrowne The point of a personal profile is for someone to get a feel for who you are, isn’t that right? So it only would make sense to draw some conclusions. You read someone’s profile to get to know them better; they want you to arrive at conclusions. (Hoping that they are good ones).

@cwilbur and @DominicX: Can you elaborate on what bothers you about that phrase? I can make a guess, but I’m interested to hear your opinions.

@girlofscience

It bothers me because from my experiences, people who say it either “hate” feminine gay guys or think they “damage the image” of gay people in general. Therefore, when a gay guy is non feminine, they pride themselves in being “straight-acting”. What does “straight-acting” even mean? Who says straight guys aren’t effeminate? What about metrosexuals? “Straight-acting” seems like people are consciously trying to act a certain way, which comes off as phony and poser-like. Just be yourself, don’t try to “act” straight or “act” gay, just act the way that comes natural, whether or not it fits in a gay or straight stereotype.

“I live life to its fullest!”, usually with an unneeded apostrophe.

“I’m a spontaneous person!”, usually spelled “spontanious”.

“I’m spiritual, not religious.” What the heck does that mean?

“Tricia/Melissa/Karissa is my BFFFFFFFFFFF! and here’s something that only she would get even though I put it here on my profile for everyone to see! And I love my boyfriend Pat/Matt/Nat forever! Nothing will ever break us up! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3!!!!”

I’m feeling more than a little self-conscious about the list of bands on my profile after having read this thread. But I’d still like you guys to check them out, and their music.
I was just trying to share what I think is ‘good stuff’

(Slopes off quietly….)

@frdelrosario “I’m spiritual, not religious” reminds me of this:

“Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn’t
make you spiritual. It’s right above the crack of your ass. And it
translates to ‘beef with broccoli.’ The last time you did anything
spiritual, you were praying to God you weren’t pregnant. You’re not
spiritual. You’re just high.”

@frdeirosario. “I’m spiritual, not religious” is just another way of saying “I believe in God(or gods), but do not hew to any particular religion.”

Thank you, @Peinrikudo , but I suspect @le_inferno hit that one solidly into the gap for extra bases.

@girlofscience: The essential behavior that makes a man straight is having sex exclusively with women. Men seeking sex with men who describe themselves as “straight-acting” generally have significant issues accepting their own orientation, and they’ve also got a sufficiently screwed-up mental image of gay men that they associate a masculine demeanor with a straight orientation.

If they really want to be “straight-acting,” they can have sex with women.

I agree with a lot of people here. My biggest pet hate with these things is when people put things like “I’m really unique”, yeah you and everybody else, get over it!

I also hate the whole “music is my life” and then they mention the bands they like which, surprise, surprise all happen to be in the charts at the moment.

“Don’t mess with me”, “I don’t take any shit”, “mess with me and you’ll regret” etc etc

@le_inferno – Sure and I have no problem with the diversity of personal profiles. When I read profiles on the web, usually keep the thoughts about them to myself, especially when my first impression is negative. My previous remark was referring to some of the crude comments in this thread.

G G Allin Lurve @teh_kvlt_liberal