Is it racist to be not attracted to a certain type of people?
Asked by
Sampson (
3563
)
August 15th, 2009
I’m not attracted to black women as much as I am women of other races. I wouldn’t treat them any differently in a social situation or anything like that, I just find myself less attracted to them in general.
This isn’t to say that there isn’t any foxy black chicks. There’s plenty out there.
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72 Answers
No, it’s not racist. Everyone has preferences. If it’s not “hairist” to prefer brunettes to blondes in terms of physical attraction, then it’s not racist to have a preference in terms of race or skin color. I seem to primarily be attracted to white and Hispanic guys. It’s just a preference; I can’t control what I’m attracted to.
Who one is attracted to mate with depends on many different factors. Perhaps you also prefer women with certain hair or eye color or body types.
Why single this out as a concern?
I assume you are not attracted to men either, but you would call yourself a genderist.
@Marina I really don’t have a preference most ways.
Except the last one you mentioned, and that’s based on evolution. My unattraction (word?) to black women isn’t.
Nope. Everyone likes a certain something. Is it anti-something to like curvy chicks or tall chicks?
Remember what Seinfeld said about the “Pigman”: “there’s someone out there, who’d be all ‘oo, i love his curly little tail.’”
No, not really. You can’t help what you’re attracted to and not being attracted to things that are typical of one or another race of people isn’t a bad thing. I’m not attracted to redheaded men (which might be considered funny since my heritage is mostly Irish). I’m just not. As long as I don’t treat these people differently because I’m not attracted to them, I don’t see where there’s a problem.
What I am having trouble with is the way this is presented as an either /or thing.
Not racist = sleeping with member of that race.
I don’t see the connection.
Do you have black friends? Do you treat black people as you do anyone else? Do you feel differently about them in other ways than that you just don’t have black lady friends? Those would be more likely indicators of whether you are racist or not.
I have never met a Martian woman who I found sexually attractive. Does that make me a humanist?
@Facade If that’s you, you’re an acception :)
@Marina I don’t have black friends, but that’s because there are no black people where I live. Literally… It’s Honkeyville out here. But as I said above, I do not treat them any differently when I interact with a black person.
@DarkScribe Have you met one that you found unattractive?
@Sampson Have you met one that you found unattractive?
Nope – never met one of those either. Could be a reason for that I suppose – I’ve never been to Mars that I can recollect. Do you suppose that is it?
Racists rarely ask questions about whether their actions are racist or not. And based on your other answers in this thread, I would say no, you are not racist for not being attracted to black women.
Dominic summed it up. You can’t really control who you’re attracted to. If you consciously told yourself that you shouldn’t find black women attractive, that would be one thing, but I don’t think you’re doing that.
I’m going to assume that you are black and perhaps getting flack from other black folks, family etc? Well that’s their problem and I don’t think that
attraction one way or another
is racist.
However, the folks in Honkeyville may not be less than thrilled at your characterization of them thusly :)
Remember Jesse Jackson and Hymietown? Just a little hint…
@Ivan If you consciously told yourself that you shouldn’t find black women attractive, that would be one thing
How about if your wife tells you that you shouldn’t find other women attractive? Does that make you a misogynist? Or does that make her a misogynist?
@DarkScribe That makes you married to a controlling and jealous woman, methinks :)
@DarkScribe
Well, I don’t know if that would be misogynist, but it certainly would be silly. There’s a difference between being attracted to someone and actively pursuing someone. Getting married doesn’t mean all other people in the world become unattractive.
@Buttonstc I am white. And trust me, it’s a total Honkeyville.
I find myself attracted to all sorts of women, black women, Asian women, Native American, women with British accents, Arabic women, and even white women =).
The only sort of woman I don’t find attractive are those that have that attitude. You know the one; the type of woman that you can tell is a real bitch just by looking in her eyes. Fortunately, those are rare. Of course, I don’t find women in their 90’s attractive, at least not to the point that I’d want to boink them, but that just might be because I haven’t met anyone’s really sexy Grandma. (third song down in the playlist)
@dynamicduo That makes you married to a controlling and jealous woman, methinks :)
Luckily for me, my wife isn’t – she’ll even point out attractive women. Usually with a smart remark about my attention not being up to par.
@Ivan Well, I don’t know if that would be misogynist, but it certainly would be silly.
Ivan – it is all tongue in cheek – not to be taken seriously.
Sorry about that slightly scrambled up next to last sentence if mine but you get the idea.
Dang iPhone can’t scroll to correct something in edit
When will there be a much needed update to the Fluther app that could remedy this and a few other functions?
Hopefully the Fluther Gods are working on it.
@DarkScribe kind of hard to talk with your tongue firmly implanted in your cheek, isn’t it? =)
@evelyns_pet_zebra kind of hard to talk with your tongue firmly implanted in your cheek, isn’t it? =)
You get used to it – it just takes practice. Years of practice.
@Sampson You only become “racist” when you insist that other ‘non-black’ people who might be attracted to “black women” should not be allowed to. Assuming that you are not black yourself.
You like, you like. You don’t like, you don’t like.
It’s up to you as an individual.
@DarkScribe yeah, I know. I’ve had the practice, but some people have trouble catching humor. I bet it’s fun when your wife points out the ones you’ve missed. Sounds like yoiu have a great marriage there.
@evelyns_pet_zebra Sounds like yoiu have a great marriage there.
I have – I am one of the lucky ones.
I’m hispanic(white and dark skinned inbetween) and like/prefer white guys and hispanic guys.
My grandma is dark colored…not black, though and got marreid to a white spaniard guy with green eyes and light brown hair color…my grandpa. :)
Right now I like a guy with light brown hair with blue eyes (white)....hmm…this might be genetic.
I do agree with @DominicX. :)
[edit: he doesn’t like white girls, he likes hispanic/latinas :)...yay…lucky me!]
It’s preferential and prejudicial but that’s what happens when you have people of differing tastes… it’s not racist.
Racism happens when you combine prejudices and oppression… the key to defining racism, in my opinion, is the oppression part.
But like other’s have said already… it would be like saying it’s bad if you prefer tall girls over short ones – nothing wrong with it… it’s just what you like.
@thrice2k3 You do know that short girls are the best, right? ;)
@avvooooooo lol… I think that would depend on what you’re using the gal for =)
@thrice2k3 As long as its not to reach something up high, just about all the time they’re the best!
@Sampson Did you just wimp out when @Facade answered?
“you’re an exception”. Wimpage?
@cyndihugs Im guessing short as in 5’4 feet short?? :)
@cyndihugs The ancient determinant of “short” is ‘short enough to rest a glass of beer on your head while you perform a special act on me’.
@lloydbird I’ve always assumed shortness was relative to the person standing next to the shorty. I determine tall as someone on whom I can place my elbow in a sensitive part relatively easily if necessary.
@avvooooooo Sounds good to me. So long as it’s done sensuously and with affection. I’m quite partial to a bit of “elbow” on occasion.
Just so long as it’s not black.
(jk)
I don’t think it is. I’m not attracted to black women, but I do find some black men quite smexy. Of course there is Tyra Banks, I think that she is pretty!
White racists are not sexually attracted to black women, but men who are not sexually attracted to black women are not necessarily white racists.
I never had the good fortune of sleeping with a black woman but I hope I do someday.
<——agrees with @Quagmire, I’ve met some real pretty black women in my life.
Nope I’m not attracted to blonde woman of any race. Still treat them the same just don’t see them in any sexual way. Just means we could’ve worked together in clubs D:
But I have someone so can’t you’ll need another wingman from now on. ;D
@ShanEnri Of course there is Tyra Banks, I think that she is pretty!
Tyra Banks?
I saw her in a couple of live interviews once. If money was intellect she’d be in debt.
NO. I don’t feel that not being attracted to another race is racist. I am not attracted to black men, oriental men or very pale men. Nor am i attracted to men who are large even though i am a woman of curves..lol.. I like tall think men with broad shoulders and small waists i have been told that is is the old cowboy body build. lol but that doesn’t mean i have any racial feeling towards the men i am no attracted to. It all depends on the person and what they see as attractive. It has nothing to do with race in its self. It has to do with a preference.
It seems the unconscious mind plays a far greater role in determining what type of mate we are attracted to. It might overrule your rational mind which seems to be dealing with obvious attributes like skin and hair colors. But odors are more important. Find the right smell and you might fall in love with a beautiful black woman.
Here’s an interesting recent article:
The bond of true love may be forged in the genes as well as in the mind, researchers have found. A comparative survey of couples suggests people are more attracted to those who have very different immunity genes from their own, even though they are not aware of it. The genes in question play a major role in the immune system’s ability to fight infections, but they are also thought to leave a lingering trace in the scent of people’s body odor. The scientist who led the study believes humans have evolved to sniff out partners who have different immunity genes because they tend to produce healthier children with stronger immune systems.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2009/may/24/genes-human-attraction
@DarkScribe I said she was pretty, not the smartest human being on earth!
@ShanEnri I said she was pretty, not the smartest human being on earth!
For me a woman’s intellect is as important as her looks with regard to sexual appeal – I have never been attracted to bimbos. Many don’t feel the same way as I do – luckily for most models or they would never get dates.
@DarkScribe Sadly that is too true! I still think Tyra is pretty though! :)
If money was intellect she’d be in debt.
lol genius!
I’m probably repeating what other people have already said but no, that’s not racist. Humans are visual creatures and if we were all attracted to the same thing then there would be a lot of lonely people out there. I also have my preferences when it comes to potential love interests, that’s natural.
I would venture to hazard that any of you that met, ‘that certain someone’ of any kind, in the right circumstance, would be tempted.
Come on, admit it!
Why would it be racist? It’s just a matter of preference. I’ve never been attracted to the blond blue eyed type of guys, but that’s only because I prefer guys with a darker complexion. We all have our taste in music, food, clothes, men or women. That’s what gives us our individuality.
@kheredia I have blond hair and blue eyes… :(
@Sampson I’m sorry, but I swear, I’m not racist.. lol! I’ve just always liked the tall dark and handsome type.
I’m going to hell if it is.
Of course not. Just like how some people like different hair color on women. Nothing’s wrong with it.
It’s not about the package.
It’s about the content.
jeez we live in a world gone mad ..of course it isn’t racist its just preference…ironically when I was a lot younger i dated a man i wasn’t attracted to because i didn’t want to be shallow as i believed looks weren’t important…its a truly ridiculous thing to do…looks are important when it comes to physical attraction and you should never feel bad for thinking so.. attraction is different for everyone….imagine a world where everyone slept with people they weren’t attracted to…how the hell would you choose?
i think indians are beautiful!
I would hope not, OP. I have the same problem.
I’m also not attracted to orange people or red people, and purple depends. But blue and green really get me goin.
I think its a bit of preference and a bit built in that you tend to be more attracted to people that are more in the same ethnicity than you.
I’m caucasian (however I do have some Indonesian relatives 4 generations back, 1/16th).
And I mostly like caucasian girls, but not blond haired.
I’ve dated a girl from surinam… and it made me realise it really doesn’t make that difference when you’re going for personality.
But a funny thing, people from other “races” tend to also smell different. And from what I gather smell plays a significant role in attraction. So it might just be natures way to say. “he/she is more compatible”
Fact from fiction, truth from diction. I know people who gravitate to certain types of women, Hispanic, Asian, Middle Eastern etc. If the reason you did not choose a woman who was African American was because she was not attractive to you then you would not be racist. If it was because the was African American you choose not to even consider her no matter how beautiful she was said to be, then it would be racist. If you believed African American women to be less than say Hispanic women just because they were African American, not that you do or think that way, it would be racist. As a whole you may not find African American women attractive because of facial features, I know people who do not like Asians for that. So long as you don’t make it linked to the value or worth of the woman as a human then you should be in safe harbor.
Just a thought- it may actually be more cultural than racial. You may have learned passively not to find women who you view as culturally black attractive. This could be overcome by association- I highly doubt it’s a genetic predisposition.
Genetic analysis would probably shut down the immune system attraction argument because genetic differences within culturally defined groups are as large or larger than those between culturally defined groups. That is to say- there is as much genetic variation between any two random individuals defined by society as a particular race (say two black people) as their is between any two individuals defined to be of different races (a black person and a white person). This at least is in accordance with the American Association of Anthropology’s positon on race based on their analysis of genetic data.
Get to know some cool black women deemed attractive by societies relatively arbitrary standards- I bet you might feel different after awhile!
What does it matter if you are not attracted to them?
Why does anyone else need to know…
unless you’re John Mayer!
@Sampson I can relate to both your question and details. So you’re not alone.
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