What are your thoughts on Comfort Blankets?

I’m all about letting children have what soothes them. I don’t see the danger in it at all.

I sucked my fingers and always had a special pillow..I know many people who let their children have special blankets or toys. My son has never grown an attachment like that to anything but a bottle, and in his case it can be bad because of his teeth.
I think it’s a huge part of a child developing, and I wouldn’t discourage it or encourage it. I’d just let it take its course.

I sucked my thumb until I was about 7. My parents never worried about it, so I never did. I just grew out of it and that was that.

When my son was first born he would only sleep on me, either cradled or in a sling. I worried that he would never sleep on his own, but he just naturally wanted to be in his own crib at a certain stage. I’m glad I never acted on my anxieties and tried to force him into a crib too early. As parents there will be many battles ahead, so we should choose our battles wisely!

One of mine had a bear that went everywhere with us until about age 6. The other had a favorite blanket with a satin binding that she loved. The act of going to sleep, from a child’s perspective, is a little bit scary, if you think about it.

When the child begins school (either nursery school or kindergarten) they will most likely not want to be dragging it around in front of other children so it will probably fade of it’s own accord.

I think it would be difficult to make a case for your child being irreparably damaged. That’s just one writers opinion.

And look on the bright side. At least it’s not thumb sucking which seems to upset parents way more.

I don’t think it’s anything to worry about.

You might enjoy this article on the subject from The Guardian.

It offers one scientist’s theories.

My younger son trained himself to sleep without his animals when he went away to camp at 11. Before that, he would ritualistically arrange them around his pillow every night. My older son had a bear and a penguin that he carried around. For a while, it was a blue blankie. As a matter of fact, two Teddies went on many European trips with us in backpacks. I agree with casheroo, whatever helps comfort a child (or anyone if it is not toxic) is fine. When children get older, they may need to be encouraged to leave them home so they don’t get picked on; my son had figured that out for himself.

Both my kids had “blankies”. The only downfall is trying to break them from carrying them around. My son has gotten rid of his. But my daughter simply replaced hers. Now she carries around a housecoat my mother wore when she was alive. My daughter is 18 and won’t even go spend the night at a friend’s house without it. So otherwise if it comforts them then let them be comforted!

It’s a perfectly normative part of early childhood development. Here is a quote summarizing the views of D. W. Winnicott, a pediatrician and Object Relations psychiatrist who wrote extensively on this issue:

The middle ground between objective reality (also called the “not-me”) and subjective omnipotence (the “me”) is what Winnicott called the transitional experience. This experience is a transitional zone between the self and the real world. Central in the transitional experience is the transitional object that inhabits this zone, which to the infant represents the mother or her breast when she is absent. This object can alternatively be referred to as the first “not-me” possession—a teddy bear, a blanket, etc. The child does not experience this object as created by themselves, nor as entirely detached, but instead the transitional object is a fantasy. It is a way for the child to maintain a connection to the mother while she progressively distances herself. According to Winnicott, this experience is marked by anxiety and it is important for the child to have an object as a defense to this anxiety.

Transition refers to aiding the child while the mother separates. The transitional object as described by Winnicott is very ambiguous as transitional has a double meaning. The object is both a fantasy created by the child to feel connected to the mother, while at the same time it a mixture between the mother in the subjective phase and the mother in the objective phase. The child clings to the transitional object as it transitions between the two phases, while they find a balance between their own subjectivity and accommodation to others. The transitional experience as described by Winnicott is the phase where the infant can develop the creative self while still feeling protected.

Here is the source.

@pdworkin I think I might just marry you for that answer! :-) makes me feel so much better and makes so much sense..just what I was looking for x

I learned recently from my brother’s widow that my parents finally told my little brother that the time had come. They were going to India or China and would personally hand-deliver the raggedy blankie to a poor and needy child. My bro believed that for years.

Neither of my kids had a “lovey” as we called it. Apparently my husband and I were their loveys. I can’t see that either of them has suffered from not having such an object.

Not all children need them, but when they do it is not worrisome.

@jennifermay Wow! You are the first person I’ve ever known (other than myself) who sucked a thumb (or, in my case, a finger) until the age of seven! I’m glad you stopped naturally. I only stopped because my finger got infected.

As far as comfort items go—it wouldn’t be childhood without them. How would we have stories about Winnie the Pooh, or the velveteen rabbit or any of that? They create so many good memories, and they really help children soothe themselves. I can’t imagine how anyone would think they are bad. Where did you get an idea that children shouldn’t have them?

@daloon I sucked my finger past the age of 7. And know adults who sucked their fingers into their 30s.
I think I stopped when I began chewing on my finger in my sleep. I have little scars from apparently breaking the skin. I always sucked my left index finger. And I’d take whatever sheet was on the bed and make it make crinkly noises. And look at me now, I’m perfectly sane! hehe

@daloon Does fluthering constitute as knowing one another?

@casheroo Fluther.com, bringing suckers together.

i think that excerpt from Psychologies is utter bullshit. i just can’t believe that out of the millions of people who had comfort blankets, that enough of them had some sort of issues growing up because they had a favourite blanket as a baby.
i think it’s a rare case that said comfort blankets would be harmful to an individual. until you find reliable information that says otherwise – and has supportive evidence – i wouldn’t worry too much about it. (:

@jennifermay If I have knowledge of something, is that the same as knowing something? I think that, until you show evidence that you are a liar, I will continue to believe that you are telling the truth. Therefore I know [of] a person (well, now, two) who sucked a digit up to age 7.

Picky, picky, picky

@casheroo Their 30s? Wow! Double wow!!

@daloon and @casheroo – My son still sucks his thumb in his sleep sometimes, and he is 14 going on 15. My daughter’s habit early on was to twirl her hair above her left ear. She used to do it while sucking on a bottle. She still does it when she is concentrating.

so that makes three suckers.

I was a sucker too! up until 9.

Wow! I wonder if there could be a correlation between finger sucking and depression?

@daloon It’s a thought. The person I know suffers from depression, and I have in the past. Seems so random though.

@casheroo Random? I’m not so sure. Although, give me a correlation, and I’ll come up with an explanation. However, finger sucking is about self-comfort, and people who do it longer may need more comfort, in general. Such people may grow up to hit the real world with fewer defenses or abilities to cope, emotionally, and therefore may get depressed more easily.

Or, children may resort to self-comfort more when their parents are more distant. Distant parents can lead to lower self-esteem, which also is a component of depression. It’s easy to create a story when you have a relationship to explain. But these are just stories (or theories) until someone tests them, preferably with evidence from the real world (not just thought experiments).

I wish I could find something that comforts me as much as thumb sucking used to… and yes…I did just try it out again..and no…it didn’t work :-(

edit: actually after trying this a few times.. I might be regressing…. will update you!

My oldest has a blankie and he’s allowed to bring one special toy to bed with him as long as he parks it in between the crib and the pillow…my infant doesn’t have any of these things as nothing is allowed in his crib at night for safety reasons…neither of them suck their thumbs for which I am glad because as I understand it that’s not the best thing for teeth development…and to be honest with you, I don’t find much weird, but grown children sucking their thumbs….well I don’t find it weird, but I wonder why they need to