How many dates end well?

First, welcome to FLuther.

Huh?

If the case of all dating, one does not know how much one is intersted in someone else. That is what dating if for.

Why would you “confess” that? If you did, I imagine it would be a little offputting for the other person.

Usually, on first dates, it’s understood and unspoken that you are checking each other out to see how much interest there is.

First dates are for mutual exploration and not true confessions. How can you possibly know what real feelings there are?

If you like the other person and you agree to see each other again, that is a good ending. A proposal of marriage would be unusual.

Confess? Confess what? Murder? I’m sure that date wouldn’t go well.

Generally speaking though, most dates don’t end in a long term relationship…

Oh I’m sorry. Confess as in you like that person.

What would I say?

If the feeling was mutual I would say “I like you, too”.

If the feeling was not mutual I would say “I’m honored”.

No, no, no! When people are interested in someone and are looking for advice, you’ll see a lot of replies along the lines of “tell them”.

I don’t understand this thinking whatsoever. At no point in time has a person ever entirely made up their mind about you, and by spurting out your feelings too soon, you’re forcing them to make a decision. They either like you back, or they don’t.

You’re delivering an ultimatum on a date (or even before!) instead of flirting, charming, and then if things feel right, putting your pride on the line and kissing her. Then give her time to think things over, which might take seconds, a week, or more.

Nothing is set in stone, and the simple fact is that most people have no idea if they like you. Don’t force them to think about it too hard too soon, and just let things unravel.

Confess? You mean confess you like them? Isn’t that pretty obvious from the fact that you asked them out? And of course that works both ways too.

Most of the first dates I’ve had ended well. In fact, I think almost all of the girls I’ve ever had the nerve to ask out, date, flirt, whatever you wanna call it…ended up being my girlfriend at some point soon after. My problem usually is that I am quite picky to start with, and even when I do find someone I like, I am too shy to approach them.

I agree with @Jack79 I mean, if a guy asks me on a date..it’s pretty obvious he likes me in a way, and wants to get to know me better. No need to confess anything.

It usually works out better if you ask your date if she had a nice time, and could you call her again. If she says she’d like that, then do call her again. If she says she’s going to be busy with work/school/whatever, then you know she’s not really interested in seeing you again. There’s no need for “true confessions” which sounds like you’ve been evaluating her, and she passed whatever standard you have. If you’re really that judgemental, let her figure it out on her own.

Don’t confess yet except to say something like, “I really enjoyed spending time with you. I’d like to get together again.”

No confessing. There is no way to really know whether you like that person a lot, just on the first date. You may know on the first date that you want to see them again. Usually, everyone is on their best behavior and not showing their warts (bad side) so @richardhenry is correct in saying to let it play out.

as we know…I’ve not been on a date in a while… AND
the last one I went on the chap expected me to pay for the meal afterwards…
(because he’d forgot to get cash!)
not cool

(checks wallet is still there)

:-p

(books flight to Manchester for 16/10) ;)

Actually it might be better if we make it 20/ 08…

My date will not end well, if he says that he doesn’t like me the way I like him. :( But I guess it’s worth a try. :)

@lynneblundell @Jack79 Seriously, how much is a plane ticket? Get together already! :)

@chyna lol…I agree. But when I asked her to name the time and place to meet, she told me a pub called “Thyme and Plaice”. Can’t find it on any phonebook though. Do you think she might be pulling my leg? hey at least she didn’t ask to meet on Sept 31st

@Jack79 I think she is not sure you are serious. This is like that movie Sleepless in Seattle.

…turns out “Thyme and Plaice” is an actual pub…great name eh? :)

Hope to go meet her there sometime soon so at least the rest of you won’t have to put up with our online flirting.

@Jack79 Are you kidding? I am living vicariously through you and Lynnes flirting. It’s great!

lol… yes..see is it real! we will meet! just have to agree on a mutually convenient time… :-)

it’s all very bizarre… I’m actually going to meet someone I met on Fluther!!! :-))) and I couldn’t have picked a lovelier chap!

I agree with the people saying first dates are for exploration more than spilling your gutts about pent up expectations, hopes, infatuation. The exception for me personally has been when the first date has come after knowing the person a significant length of time and then there is no getting around if you happen to both be very excited by the new facet of exploring a romance.