What do really outgoing guys look for in a significant other?

Shy people often come off as aloof which is a big problem for shy people.
Everyone needs to open up a little when looking for a partner.

Don’t let your friends influence on who you like and what you do.

lol I love shy girls.

don’t know why. they just seem nice.

No it wouldn’t bother me, I prefer a shy, and reserved girl, rather than a crazy, wild one any time.

I really think that opposites attract in this way. I’m very shy and my husband, well not so much. We make a great team. I calm him in a way and he helps me to be the person that I am and not worry about what others think.

Don’t be afraid to let men in your life because you are shy. Someone will appreciate you for the person that you are.

Welcome to Fluther!

Welcome to fluther! Lurve.

Different guys look for different things. Some guys don’t look for anything in particular, and react to each partner as the mood hits them. You cannot usefully generalize about “all outgoing guys” any more than you can generalize about “all guys” or “all women.”

@cwilbur or “all sheep”... if you’re into it.

I agree with @ABoyNamedBoobs03 and @Damn_Tony more reserved females offer mystery and adventure. you just have to find out what you both enjoy doing together to get them to come out of their shell.

@ABoyNamedBoobs03 that was a baaaaa-d answer. ;-)

this is like asking what kind of meat a really angry bear likes. guys are different, they like different girls

The inviting your friends thing is probably so things are less threatening more relaxed. I’d say just be honest. You have to tell the truth eventually. No use hanging around someone if they don’t like the real you.

No, I don’t think that it’s a problem. It is only a problem when you’re trying to meet someone, but once you’re there, I don’t see why it would bother him. The only thing that he would care about is how you behave towards him. Are you open enough towards him? Do you two have interesting conversations? Are you intimate (yes, I also mean sex here)? Overall, do you make him feel good? Your general shyness could actually be a good thing as it gives him a sense of security (he doesn’t have to worry about you going out and meeting someone else or cheating on him). It’s not really any guarantee, but in any case, it’s not something that should bother him.

In the end you’re going to have to be yourself anyway, so it’s best to have it clear what that is up front. If your friends are not the type to come along with strangers, just tell him. If you enjoy staying at home, tell him. He probably won’t mind, and if he does, well… It’s still what you are, so that should become a problem later on anyway.

Agree with @Vincentt. If there’s anything an outgoing guy would like in an SO, it’s total and complete honesty. You’ve gotta be you. You tell him what you do and who you really are. Try to be someone else and you’re just gonna end up hurting the both of you. But you can tell him that you’d like to be more outgoing, maybe have it as a goal of sorts. But that’s for later. First, he needs to know who you really are.

My husband is outgoing and confident, and that’s probably what attracted me to him. I was very shy and didn’t talk much. I just asked him what made him want to date me, and he doesn’t know. He said that he knows he can be a smartass a lot, and likes a girl that can take a joke. He doesn’t mind shy girls, and I know he tried to date someone before and felt that they were kind of playing games. He never dated around, we’re both each other’s real first serious relationship. (Which is probably why he doesn’t really have an answer… he never dated enough to develop a type.)

I’m the type of person people can trust. I’m very honest, so maybe that’s what he picked up on and liked? I don’t know. Maybe its because I’m a gamer. He likes Final Fantasy, and I had a Final Fantasy picture in my locker. My best friend was dating his best friend too, so we often sat at the same lunch table before school anyways.

My advice? Be yourself. The only time you should have to pretend to be confident is if you’re trying to get a job. @Vincentt is right. I too am the type to stay home, but I love going out with him (I just won’t do it myself). If you’re like that, tell him that you typically stay at home, but you do enjoy going out with him.

I have changed since I met my husband. I’m much more strong-willed, and while I’m still shy, I’ll talk to new people. I’ve discovered that (if you don’t like being shy like me) the key is to not care what other people think about you. It sounds so simple, but everyone cares what other people think, especially if they’re just starting a relationship. I often have the best time if I’ll know I’ll never see the person again (in line at Walmart), but its still difficult with people I know and I’ll see often.

I need to learn how to be concise.

What would bother me is finding out the girl that I thought you were (because you were “acting” confident) was actually not being honest with me about herself. The dishonesty would make me wonder what ELSE she’s being phony about.

You are what you are. Change yourself, and only if YOU want, for YOURSELF. Not for a guy.

Find a guy that likes you the way you are. You’ll be glad you did.

Trying to be what someone else wants you to be instead of yourself will only cause problems within the potential relationship in the future. Don’t worry about trying to seem attractive to men. The right man for you will be attracted to you as you are :)

Try to make friends that are outgoing and let the affect your personality to become it yourself.

You say that your friends are antisocial, it might be that you are just because you’re letting them have this effect on you.

We are really more affected by our friends than we think.