What do you think of the phrase "woman of a certain age"?

I “woman of a certain age” should be returned to the 1940s and 1950s where it belongs. It is sexist. Everyone’s of “a certain age” and why should it matter?

It makes my ears prick up.

I would say that it depends on the one (their age) who’s saying it.
My grandma used to talk about those old women opposite the street, when she herself was 83 years old.

I have never heard the terminology. What does it or is it intended to refer to may I inquire?

I can’t answer your question but I hate the Red Hat Society. They took a perfectly good poem about non conformity and turned it into a clique with rules where they all look the same.
I was trying on hats in Vegas when they were having a convention. A lady screamed at me, “You can’t wear red! You can wear lavander but you can’t wear red! You have to be 50 to wear red!
I was so disgusted. I felt like she violated the entire spirit of the poem. They are a bunch of conformists.

I love the age I am now, but have been forced to accept something I read that said women in their 50s would make perfect spies, because they are the most invisible members of society, basically dead to men. I have more than once spoken of a shared experience in passing to a young man encountered in a store or gas station. They invariably do a double take almost as if a couch had spoken to them.

Back to the original Q. I always thought the idea of women not revealing their age was a useless conceit or vanity. Playing along with it implies that there is something wrong with your age, which is not a contention I accept. I will say this. I prefer it to term cougar, which I find as offensive as a man would be being called a lech.

@rebbel My mom does that. She will say, “That old woman . . .” and be referring to a woman a decade younger than she is!

@LostInParadise Thanks for sharing that article. While I am no fan of William Safire politically, I do love his musings on words. After reading the article, I will clearly elect to go with the connotations of une femme d’une certaine age for myself.

@Marina I guess your mother has a young spirit.

I think “woman of a certain age” are hot!

its a polite way of saying that your skin is leathery and wrinkly, your feet have viens sticking out of them and your Ta-Tas are down to your waist, your back is hunched and your getting a bit of a stomach, and even though you dont want to you should get a walker.

i hope all of you know that this is not my real opinion. my real opinion is that the phrase women of a certain age is a more polite, non-offensive way of saying your not as young as you used to be, but your wiser none the less.

I think it is an insulting term that is aimed at women who are past menopause. It is a not very polite way of saying a woman who is older and not so sexy anymore. (“Over the hill.”)

@Marina I find women in their 50’s lovely and fascinating, and would spend time with one over a 25 yr old any day. They are not invisible to me.

I never thought anything of the term. I’ve mostly heard it used to describe medical conditions/worries, skin care, etc. for or about “women of a certain age.”

I’ve never heard “Woman of a certain age,” nor “Red Hat society.”
Is the red hat society something like The Red Tent?

My mother in law, who was in her late 60’s when she died, often referred to the other ladies in the high rise where she lived as ‘old biddies’, but she didn’t mean it as an ageist remark, she meant it simply as people waiting around to die, rather than going out and enjoying life while they were still able.

My mother in law was crippled, couldn’t walk more than a few steps, and had arthritis in nearly every joint she owned, and yet, she would climb into her Amigo power chair and go cruising everywhere. And I mean everywhere, as long as there was pavement to drive on.

Someone even once spotted her cruising down the side of the divided highway near where she lived, a grin on her face, her hair flying in the wind, and the orange triangle flag on the tall stick fastened to the back end of her scooter flapping wildly behind her.

Later on, my wife gave her a ‘good talkin to’ about the irresponsibility of her actions, as well as the safety hazard, and my mother in law just grinned and replied, “Hey, I refuse to sit up here like all these old biddies and wait to die. I’m going to go out and have some fun, dammit!”

Damn, I miss her, she was such a wonderful person, so full of life and with attitude to spare.

Woman of a certain age is so general of a term as to be pretty much meaningless, in my opinion.

To edit my first response – I left out the word “hate” in the first sentence. However, while I still think it has no place in usage today, I do think it has a certain glamour when attached to the likes of Lauren Bacall or Katharine Hepburn as they aged – sort of a nightclub, black dresses and “ladies who lunch” ring to it. But those “women of a certain age” are pretty much gone now and I like to think of the rest of us as just women.

@janbb Apart from women of a certain age those are more women of a certain era

Yes I agree, but I think in that era, that phrase could be applied flatteringly to them. I guess I can’t explain it exactly, but hwat I mean is that the phrase has the same aura that they did as they aged. Does that make any sense?

@janbb Actually, i do feel exactly what you meant in your example.
To me the phrase (of a certain age) has a more positive sound to it too.
The certain era remark was an attempt at being witty.

@rebbel Cool. Sorry I missed the joke but glad I was understood!

I miss Katherine Hepburn. She had a certain combination of class, grace and spunk that, at least among actresses, does not seem to be much in evidence anymore. Then again I miss the likes of Jimmy Stewart, but this gets us off topic.

@Sarcasm Here you go.

@PerryDolia I knew I liked you! ; )

So..is it a society for old women? Or just women who received hats from other women?

It is mostly a marketing phrase now, used to promote products. It used to be a euphemism for menopausal women.

It meant post menopausal when it was supposed to to be shameful to be no longer fertile. It was thought to be a time to regret a loss of feminity. I think women of my generation celebrate rather than regret.

The Red Hat Society challenges the idea that women need a male escort in order to be out in society. Instead of wearing muted colors and subdued fashion,in order to fade into the woodwork, these ladies wear big red hats with red and purple outfits often embellished with feathers and sequins. They share society, entertainment and good works, in short, they live large.

I agree with galileogirl . It is a social thing that arose because of the poem “when I am Old I Shall Wear Purple” as Judi said. Women “of a certain age” get together, wear red hats and go out to lunch, the movies, museums, etc. It has probably become a marketing ploy but I believe it started quite informally for the purposes GalileoGirl says.

This thread reminded me of a poem I always loved, it was comparing a woman aging to an “old weathered basket.” It was wonderful and now I can’t find it, anybody know of it?

Anyhow, I will soon be 65 but I am having a conversation with our resident teen age female skater about off road skateboards because I want one. I already have a Razor scooter, a Yamaha off road motor scooter, a mountain bike and numerous other toys. We are moving back to the ocean soon and I swear I am going to learn to surf, but I am a little scared of water so don’t hold your breath. I run or ride 5 days a week.

So whatever the age is, if it means not doing fun stuff anymore, I refuse to give in to it until the old body is completely worn out and just is no longer up to it!

It seems you are NOT an old weathered basket.

@galileogirl – I often look in the mirror and wonder who that old broad is!!!

But really that poem makes being an old weathered basket a wonderful thing! It is more about the wisdom and insight gained instead of smooth skin lost.

I had a conversation with a female cousin of mine about our perspectives on life. I told her that I had reached an age where I was looking toward retirement and that I felt a spiritual need and a felt a desire to stop looking after my own interests and to reach out to others. She has been a stay at home mom, raised two wonderful kids and done a considerable amount of charity work. She said that after a lifetime of looking after the interests of others, she felt that she had earned the right to do some things just for herself.

I think there is something a little sad about the Red Hat Society. There is nothing wrong with women wanting to spend a ladies night out. Great, have a blast. But the main purpose seems to me to make a spectacle of themselves by dressing ostentatiously. By coming out and saying, see we don’t really care what you think, what they are saying is of course just the opposite.

@LostinParadise, that was my point exactly, although I was more angry at the hypocracy than sad. Now I feel guilty.

@LostInParadise For a long time older women have not had a lot of opportunities for a social life. There are fewer male peers every year so they often have a choice between staying home or going out alone or join with like-minded female friends. And don’t even think of talking about Raquel Welch or Tina Turner. Most of us are physically Madeline Albright’s type, Even she gets invitations because of her celebrity.. So how many retired widowed and divorcee grocery clerks, librarians, accountants etc are being invited to the clubs, pool parties in Vegas or even to hang out with your friends. They are living the life they want con brio! Pity is insulting and your characterization of that life as sad is just a reflection of a limited imagination.

@LostInParadise @Judi I see it as a reflection of the Men’s clubs such as Shriners – men who dress up in outlandish clothes and wear funny hats and do charity work – or people who get outlandish tattoos and then claim they are just “expressing themselves”.

It just bothered me that the lady in the store in Vegas didn’t get to the whole point of the poem, that you shouldn’t wAit until you are old to embrace life, follow your heart, do the unexpected, and don’t wait for the worlds aproval to wear purple, a red hat, or walk on a fountain at midnight. Limiting who can wear a red hat went against everything the poem stood for.

@Judi Oh, I see. Yes, that does go against the very principle of the Red Hat Society. I guess she was just caught up in the camaraderie of the convention and got off track.

Ladies, following your heart is an ideal but if everybody did who would keep the earth rotating, It has only been the last 35 years or so since women were the unpaid labor that benefitted this country. Today many are undcomensated and the slack is picked up by immigrant labor that is just as unappreciated. Many 65+ women had no option to do their own thing in their youth. More power to them now!

I think the main difference between Madeline Albright and Raquel Welch is a hell of a lot of plastic surgery and a few inches in height. And don’t forget, a big bunch of intellect!

I meet a lot of diverse people every day and the men who are “of a certain age” really leave a lot to be desired. More often than not, fat and hair everywhere except their heads, often in need of a scrub, a fragrance never to be confused with roses. Women may get wrinkled and leathery but at least they don’t have hair growing out of their noses and ears long enough to braid.

I get a kick out of the older ladies (that means at least 10 years older than I) traveling all over in their groups. Husbands are gone so it is the first time they have an opportunity to do what they want. They are most always well dressed and groomed. They are looking for gifts for grandchildren. I tell them, skip the kids and get something for yourself instead and they will often then pick up a small carving or painting that they admire.

@galileogirl , I was not criticizing women of any age, but one particular group. I sympathize with the way women are treated and can understand the need that the Red Hat Society is trying to address. I just feel that they are going about things in the wrong way.