Age is just a number?

Go with what’s natural. If you fall in love with someone who you think would be a good parent to your child and you could handle being around till death do you part – go for it. I won’t go into what’s right or wrong, but I really don’t think anyone can be totally happy (at least with having a family) unless they have a natural relationship.

Age really shouldn’t matter once you’re past probably about 25 yrs., unless it bothers you or it’s illegal. Your personal preferences are important too. If you don’t like older women, don’t date them!

I think we are kind of hard-wired to want someone near our age for a love interest; men choose women a few years younger, women generally choose men a few years older, but we seem to feel some diffidence about really large differences. I say, trust your gut. I think it’s kind of creepy when a guy my age dates a woman younger than 45–50.

That having been said, don’t waste the opportunity of making friends with older people. That would be a waste. I am 60 and have friends who are in their 20s. We enjoy one another a lot.

exactly, my parents were 15 years apart when they met. They got married and had a lot of kids lol…

@ABoyNamedBoobs03 and how many years apart were they after all those kids?

Yes and No. If it’s on your mind then it’s not for you (age difference). Like some others have said, if you fall in love and then start questioning the age difference, it’s not going to be as big of an issue as if you approach the relationship at the outset thinking about the age difference. When people couple, they start to not think of those things, they look different in each other’s eyes and sometimes they look different to others looking on.

Is Age just a number? Yes. It’s the number 2.

Of course it’s not just a number. It is a good sign of how experienced and knowledgeable and wise a person is. Not a perfect sign, but a good one.

As to relationships, not everyone wants a peer. Many do, of course. Older people might want young lovers. Young people might want the protection and perks of having a wealthy older person as their partner. There may be maturity issues (not all older people are as mature as their age might suggest).

I’m not sure why you feel like there are lines to be drawn. Why should anyone put boundaries on relationships—or who they can have what kind of relationship with. This sounds like someone who is heavily influenced by conventional social mores. Sure, parents and others might have strong opinions, but they are in the relationship.

You may find yourself having to defend relationships that violate the conventional morality. That’s not something everyone is comfortable with. However, if you want permission to be attracted to whoever you are attracted to, then go with my blessing, my son. If you want to be told you should only stay with someone who is a peer, then go with my blessing, my son.

Take any age group, and see how much they are the same, and how much they are different. The differences will most likely stand out the most. It can’t be their age.

My gay friend is my age, 49, and his current gay companion is 24. They are together for companionship, not sex, simply because the younger one played around a bit without protection and is now HIV positive.

I think my friend stays with him out of pity, but I also think he is cheating himself out of finding someone his own age, as he kept complaining about when he first met this youngster. I let him do as he will, as it is his life, not mine. But I think he is cheating himself out of finding happiness when he took in this ‘boy.’

He is always taking in strays, and this is one more example of it.

Personally, I would feel uncomfortable about large age gaps just because that’s what society has ingrained into me, but also because I believe the important thing about close ages is that it gives you something to relate to.

Growing up in the 60’s is different than growing up in the 80’s. You come out with a different mindset. If you’ve been in the workforce for ten years and your partner graduated college only a few years back, the difference in maturity and life experience could play a factor in your relationship. I wouldn’t feel I was in an equal relationship if I was ‘mentoring’ another person or being ‘guided’.

Plus, it’s nice when your partner knows the songs.

It’s a guide, so you know when you need to get one of those plastic chairs to go in your shower.

I think its just a number. When you’re younger (pretty much anything under 25) it makes a big difference, but I think that as we grow older it becomes less of a big deal.

If you’re that concerned about age, then don’t ask and don’t tell. Or purposely say that you don’t want to know yet. The mommy/daddy thing may be prevalent in many relationships where there is a big age difference, but you have to remember that not everyone acts their age. After you get to know the person for a while, determine if that’s how you feel about the relationship. Then ask about ages.

I don’t think it is superficial of you, but I think that if you discover a person’s age and immediately think there is no way you’ve ever be interested, just because of age, you are being a little closed minded. Not every guy that is older will act like a “daddy.”

As a straight woman in my 40s, I find that age is more of an issue than it was 10 years ago. But not so much the date on their birth certificate… it’s more about their stage of life.

My child-bearing years are behind me, but there are men my age (and mostly younger) that haven’t had a family and may still be hoping for that opportunity, so I’m not a good match for them.

On the other hand, a man older than I by more than a few years may be starting to have health problems. I am very healthy, and both my grandmothers lived to 92… I want someone with fairly good odds of spending 4–5 decades with me, and I don’t want to be someone’s nursemaid.

The range I’ve had relationships with was from 7 years older to 6 years youger. And as @pdworkin mentioned about music, there are cultural differences between age groups. If your romantic interest loves Elvis Presley and the Three Stooges but you love Justin Timberlake and Dave Chappelle, it can be tough agreeing on activities.

So I will “never say never” but I find that those who seem most compatible with me are +/- 7 years of my age, although there may be some exceptions.

A close gay friend of mine said how his last 3 partners were all born 12 years after him… one was with him for several years, and they did have different musical and cultural interests. The guy he just started seeing seems to have more common interests, but there is a maturity factor.

Again, there will be exceptions so as @hungryhungryhortence suggests, don’t use the number as a judge… get to know the person and their interests and values, and make your decision based on compatibility.

If a man was age 65, in good health and lots of energy, and you were 21 and fell in love with this person, would you two make it together? you have everything in common and love to love and have fun. its a generation gap beyond belief. if you loved each other enough, would you/could you make it work? some people on Answerbag have asked this question and the anwers were beyond ones imagination. how about you?

@hearkat: what you say about men just a few years older than you already with health problems, it’s so true! These are things that never crossed my mind before and like you, women in my family live healthily well into their 90’s and I also don’t want to become a nursemaid to man my age or older, shame on the younger men who neglect their health too. My current partner is 9yrs younger than I am and we have had the talk about reciprocal love means I have an interest in his health and feel entitlement to want him to be his best for the both us.