What's more appealing to a guy: a tomboy or prim and proper girly girl?

Different guys like different things.

Hell no. I find all of this extremely attractive. I’d date you just because of the good influence you’d be, not to mention the thigh shorts thing which drives me totally nuts.

My girlfriend claims to be a hardcore tomboy but honestly I don’t see her that way.
I don’t find it unappealing at all, in fact I love that she’s willing to be herself- which is part of what drew me to her in the first place. Have confidence in yourself. :)

Now, I’m not a guy, but even just seeing you as another human, all that is way more respectable and interesting than a girl who spends hours a day putting on makeup. That is lame.

I like my tomboys, yes.
Rough girls who carry big things, like stones or buckets of paint when rebuilding a house.
Not at all scared to get broken or damaged nails.
Occasionally she may be girly-girly too though.
I hate getting my nails scratched.

@Jeruba said it all.

People’s definitions of tomboys and girly girls tend to be fairly different. If a tomboy entailed a girl who liked punching me in the gut from time to time and coercing me into trying kickflips on skateboards I can barely even manoeuvre, then yeah, that’s not attractive.

It’s not usually either of these qualities by themselves that denote attractiveness anyway, both of them taken to extremes can be unattractive, but if they aren’t, both can be traits in people I find attractive, it ain’t no thang.

@gggritso Thigh shorts, are those the things the girls wear who run very fast in World Championships Athletics?

I feel you on the tomboy thing. I’m not that girly girl at all. However, I am not into athletics that much. I think that may be the primary focus for guys – it’s intimidating for a woman to be stronger or more competitive than the man. And I think a lot of guys are simply insecure when this is the case. It may be ok at first, but sometimes it takes its toll. I’ve been in similar situations only add being very adimant about responsibly managing finances – this can run an irresponsible man off very easily. In the bigger scheme of things, the right guy will love these qualities in you.

@rebbel No I just meant the length of the shorts in general (as in they’re not up my ass), these: http://www.thenorthface.com/catalog/sc-gear/womens-pants-shorts/womens-horizon-utility-short.html?variationId=395 (sorry if you were thinking the spandex booty shorts :) )

A balance of the two. Look prim and proper, act like a tom-boy. That is the perfect girl.

@caly420 That’s a sexy shorts too!

little bit of column A, little bit of column B.

I like tomboys for the most part…

also, I think it’s really sexy if my date to a wedding or other proper event is a tomboy, and she dresses up like a more “proper, girly girl” it’s something about the combination of them being out of their element and the fact that most people around us, aside from me, has no idea about her wild side that really revs my engine, so to speak.

oh and huge amounts of lurve for playing Rugby. What position do you play?!

Of the two choices, Tomboy.
“tomboy” seems to have two parts to it. The first part being that she can just be “one of the guys” and doesn’t worry about being dainty. The second part being that she’s into sports or other “rugged” activities.

I’m not so much interested in the latter. I’d love a girl who just wears jeans and a T-shirt, who’s an appropriate challenge for me in Dota/CoD/DoW, who I could bring to a LAN and have her NOT be sitting around bored out of her mind This somewhat happened with my Highschool girlfriend. Or rather, she kind of invited herself over to the LAN and just sat there watching us play, bored

@Sarcasm my dream girl could kick my ass at Halo…

My advice, from distant old age, is to relax and be yourself. I have no doubt that you will be unhappy if you try to change, and I also have no doubt that you will meet a man who is thrilled that you are physically capable as well as smart and beautiful. Those other, squeamish ones are just not for you.

(One of the reasons I fell in love with my first wife was that she knew when a football coach should call an onside kick.)

For the night, girly girl.

For a long term friend and companion, tomboy.

Just be yourself.

I find boyish (dare I say dykish-looking) women who dress in jeans and shirts, a huge turn-on. Usually they are dykes and not attracted to me. Sometimes I find them even more attractive than men, which is my usual preference.

In fact I married a woman who looked a lot like Sinead O’ Connor buzz cut and all. Over time, however, she began to look more and more like Diane Feinstein .

My wife is more tomboy than girly girl, and I love her for it. She drives a pickup truck, likes guns, hunting, fishing, rough and tumble play, rarely wears anything feminine, never wears makeup, and fits in better with guys than she does girls. She likes babies, so that’s the only way to tell she is female without checking her underwear :^)

Tomboys rock, girly girls are a pain, and usually too high maintenance for me.

@evelyns_pet_zebra but checking the underwear is so much more fun.

I can understand this. Guys usually look different at me, and I’m ALWAYS made “just the friend” because I play xbox, I love grusome movies and I don’t wear the cleanest of hoodies. I don’t understand what guys like. They say they like girls to be down to earth, easy to hang with but then when that’s possible you’re marked “the friend”. Ugh.

@eponymoushipster go ahead and try with my wife, but don’t be surprised if you pull back your hand missing a few fingers. I won’t need to do anything, the girl can handle herself quite well.

@AlyxCaitlin – exactly. Sometimes, we’re too much like the guy, and they want that pretty thing to show off in public or scream at a spider so they can be the man and kill it. I think most guys today want a little bit of both. Just don’t step on their manhood too much because that gets you nowhere.

@evelyns_pet_zebra i didn’t say i was gonna check…i meant for you, dude. lol

girls, if you’re having a problem finding guys who like your more boyish forms of entertainment, call me, I’ll marry you tomorrow….

the college I go to is filled with nothing but prissy little rich girls who don’t understand the difference between hard work and walking around in the mall shopping for 6 hours… I’m tired of it.

@AlyxCaitlin Be the tomboy that you are, but show more cleavage. I know what guys want, being one. There is no mystery. Guys are not very bright compared with the gals. You have to help them along follow the bouncing ball, so to speak

neither. just be cute and a little hot, you know?

@avengerscion “Just don’t step on their manhood too much because that gets you nowhere” PERFECT. I’m never sure what they right mix is. I seem too be too “dude-ish” :[ Seriously there are some girls that I know who act tom-boyish, but could make THE BEST girlfriends.

@PerryDolia that’s insulting on two levels.

one that you’re saying a woman has to resort to showing some chest if she wants a boyfriend

and two that you think that guys in general are morons.

and quite frankly that statement spoke volumes about your own condition.

@AlyxCaitlin @avengerscion SO THE TABLES HAVE TURNED! Finally it’s women who are getting the dreaded “friend zone”. OUR PLAN HAS COME TO FRUITION! muahahahaha

Shame you’re getting that treatment. Let it be known for the record that I’ve dated “just one of the guys” girls. While we’re here bending typical gender roles, have either of you tried asking one of your guy friends to a date? Or do you just assume that since they haven’t asked you, they’re not interested?

what’s more appealing to a guy, a girl, or anyone, really, is someone that isn’t typical, cliche, someone they can relate to, someone that will say interesting things, will have goals…it would be best if you didn’t pigeonhole your style into ‘proper girl’ or ‘tomboy’ because it feels as if either is something to apologize for and it isn’t…

@Sarcasm I haven’t :/ but I’ll look into it. I think that I do assume they’re not interested. But what if they don’t even show interest, at least in that sort of manner?

@AlyxCaitlin Your guy friends may vary, but unless I knew the girl friend was interested in me (or had a pretty good idea that she was), I’d refrain from being open about my feelings so as to avoid awkwardness.
Better to have her as a friend than to weird her out and not hang out with her any more.

@Sarcasm hahah this has happened. And I think to plenty. I think we just need to stick with what the people have in common, or what the person find attractive in the other. I need to find a guy with alot in common with me, and so do you :] I think that’s best

@ABoyNamedBoobs03 In general men are morons in comparison with women. That is why men can’t understand them. I am confident that you, rushing to the moral high ground as you have, are an exception, making you better able to judge their true motivations than I.

@PerryDolia men are not morons in comparison to women – believe me

Neither, but I would prefer both wrapped up in one person. A multi persona women would be fascinating. You would have the tom girl for settings involving sports, recreation and bed, and then you have the prim and proper persona for family, church, charitable and certain social gatherings-perfect!

@Simone_De_Beauvoir They always seem to be about five steps ahead of me, and I think if most guys were observant and honest, they would admit to the same.

Tomboys rock!!!

@PerryDolia lol I’m not rushing to any moral high ground, I’m saying it’s absolutely absurd to think women are on some huge higher level than men intellectually, women aren’t difficult to understand what so ever, the only reason you think they are is because they are motivated by a different spectrum of emotions, we all feel the same things, men and women just sometimes put higher value on different ones, there’s nothing complicated about that.

I think it’s a shame that – in some cases – women are reduced to playing both roles. If it doesn’t come naturally to us, we are still expected (whether told or not) to be the easy-going tomboy when convenient and the well-mannered lady when convenient. For the most part, I think guys get the easy way out. They are always the guy – just better mannered in certian situations. Women don’t always expect their man to dress up or play a different role outside of the house. We are what we are, and someone should love us just for that. But I guess love is conditional after all.

@ABoyNamedBoobs03 You are certainly entitled to your opinion. I apologize for not taking your comments as seriously as you take mine.

Both can be attractive in their own way.

@avengerscion when guys try to play both roles, the other boys (and most of the girls) laugh at how a dress hangs on us.

@evelyns_pet_zebra psh, speak for yourself, my ass looks great in a sundress…

@evelyns_pet_zebra – so it’s wrong for a guy to be both a strong burly mountain man and a sensitive well-mannered well-groomed individual when the time is appropriate?

I think it is important that you date someone who likes you the way you are. You shouldn’t have to change just so that someone else will like you. There will be someone who will adore your tomboyish ways and will love you as you are. Just be yourself and be patient. When you least expect it, love will find you.

@avengerscion I think that’s more the norm than you think. I really don’t have any male friends who are incapable of cleaning up and acting appropriately when the time comes.

@ABoyNamedBoobs03 – I must pick the wrong men…

I don’t know, I’ve always liked wearing a suit and such, maybe it’s just me.

guys aren’t all just one person. they like different things.
besides, why do ‘tomboy’ and ‘girly girl’ have to be mutually exclusive? why can’t a girl like pink and glitter, but still play sports and skip showers?

@tiffyandthewall and why doesn’t anyone else think I look good in a sundress damnit….

@ABoyNamedBoobs03 – I’m sure you look great in a sundress!

During break-ups, I’ve been told that the guy would have liked me to do my hair and wear make-up more often.

1. The guy never bothered to mention this when the time was appropriate. He wore standard fair of t-shirt, jeans, and tennis shoes, yet he expected me to do more.

2. If you want/expect something of someone, then ‘use your words’ as a friend says. How am I expected to know what you want/expect unless you tell me so???

@avengerscion oh I’m with ya.

“honey, if you didn’t want me eating from the popcorn bowl with the hand that was scratching my man zone why didn’t you tell me???

how am I supposed to know??

@ABoyNamedBoobs03 – well, that’s just standard etiquitte, but the same idea applies.

USE YOUR WORDS!!! – We’re adults and perfectley able to address any concerns. Why wait to tell me what you want until you’re ending the relationship? This also applies in the work environment – why, sometimes (not from personal experience, but from a relative), does the employer not identify job-threatening issues until the last minute?

@avengerscion it was a joke ;)

I really feel like I’m in the twilight zone here.
I’m so used to men complaining about women not saying what they really mean.

see? like I said, we all do the same things, it’s just in what prevalence that varies

I wear makeup, heels, sexy clothes, delicate underthings and perfume. I collect dolls. I love shopping, big purses, jewelry, pink, pedicures, fashion, and just being downright girly.
I wear flip flops, jeans, beaters, boy shorts and hoodies. I go fishing, dirtbike riding, and to drag races. I have lots of tattoos. I do yardwork, my nails get dirty, I get sweaty. I like playing sports (the backyard kind, nothing like hardcore).

I’m a healthy mix of both, and plenty of guys like me. If your guy doesn’t like who you are, your picking the wrong guy. You are the perfect match for someone out there just the way you are!

How about just be whoever you are and meet a guy who likes exactly that?

I know what you mean. I wrestle and play a lot of video games…I’ve been called a lesbian. including my dad :,(
It really sucks, but I’ve also known a lot of guys that have asked me out. I like to dress in jeans and a tee-shirt and sandals, most of the time, and I do my hair….Make-up really makes a difference though…I guess. HA! I’m always wearing make-up, especially a lot of mascara. I guess you can say the top from my neck is girly and the bottom from my neck is tomboy. I hate to wear earings… I just don’t like how my ears look with earings. I wear a shitload of bracelets and rings, though. :)
I know a lot of lesbians that dress really girly and skanky.
But I can say that be who you are..NO matter how you look like, you’ll find that perfect person just for you. :)

I like a woman who is buff and really doesn’t care about clothes, but when the time is right, can dress killer sexy!

a woman that is a tom boy, sexually confident and attractive, that is….

Just be yourself! That is the most attractive thing about a person. You can be a tomboy, girly, whatever…and people will be drawn to you for just being yourself. You are an attractive person the way you are, be confident with it and the right people will notice! :)

It’s frilly giggling spinless girly girls that turn me off. If a woman acts mature and like she knows what she’s about that’s a definite turn on. I don’t know about jocks and bad asses though. Not into that at all they have more than a little reptile in them so that’s a definite turn off. Has nothing to do with their sex either the men like that suck to. I don’s see why a person can’t stay in shape with out being a douche bag jock but health clubs etc are full of these thugs.

its funny but i came across this post just when ive started feeling bad about being such a tomboy. it seems overtly apparent to all my girl friends that i should have a boyfriend, except i never seem to get one. i attract guys when i go out clubbing (which is the only time i like to dress up in high heels and short skirts), but its just a lot of flirting and thats that. so yes, im convinced guys would rather talk to a girly me than a tomboyish me… n it feels even worse when i see my friends fit so easily into their girlish-ness and i just seem to not get anywhere with guys in terms of relationships. but i love the way i am, im laid back, not too bothered by anything and very accepting of pretty much everyone i meet! i dont want to change, but i hate that its not good enough.

ugh, I HATE questions like this. Girls like this are worshipped by America while we who are proud to be feminine (and yes, that includes women who like sports, yardwork, hating pink, whatever- those do NOT, repeat, do NOT make you a tomboy!) are nearly persecuted and seen as stupid, weak, and annoying, because the world is obsessed with turning girls into boys and vice versa instead of letting them be themselves! it’s awful. you may not be very girly but you don’t sound like a real tomboy. tomboys are butches, nearly ALLLLWAYS marriage-hating bitter feminazis too. they are pretty much men in girl bodies and loathe women who choose to take care of themselves, be classy. get married have kids, whatever. It’s disgusting. Guys who say they prefer tomboys are usually lying through their teeth. They almost always like girly girls who like sports and video games and stuff, and most girls DO already like that stuff, it has nothing to do with being girly or not! I would never call myself a tomboy despite the fact that the two people I’m closest two are my dad and brother and when I was little I would always want to wrestle with boys when I could (outside of school- I hated getting in trouble). I love beauty, children, cooking, but that hardly makes me a bimbo. Girly bimbo stereotypes are a Hollywood propaganda, and anyone who enjoys shopping/makeup/hates playing rough is seen as a preppy idiot, even for those of us who are not the least bit preppy or stupid- no, feminine women are usually bright and very warm people. embrace my femininity and men are attracted to that- of course, they’re MEN! Men are created to be attracted to women, not girls who act like men. That biologically makes no sense.

here’s my blog about tomboys and girlier girls: http://thorn-harvestar.blogspot.com/2010/09/it-is-appalling-how-many-young-girls.html Anyway, sorry about the long rant but I’m truly sick of seeing answers like most of these. They’re usually rude and always untrue.

@Sarcasm: I’m single. I mean… <<ahem>>