Do you ever get the feeling people are trying simply to out do you, with no other purpose than one-up-man-ship?

I don’t go to the library and write a research paper and everything before I talk, but yes.. I find that I am much more gauged and open minded when I’ve first thought about what I might say before I say it.

On fluther, I frequently write and delete answers several times, as I think through the process. With book reviews or comments, I will tell people that I need some time to process the information to formulate an opinion or perspective. In conversation, sometimes it’s easier to make a point by asking questions to make a person defend/explain their position by asking them to explain further. Much like a little kid asking why, five really good drill-down questions can pretty much dismantle most arguments.

There are definitely people who are interested in one upping others. I have a friend who is thinking about what story she is going to tell the entire time the other person is talking. It is exhausting.

I try to pay attention to what people are saying and think about whether or not I really have anything relevant to add to the discussion. Of course, most of the time conversation requires responses so I just say what comes naturally. Sometimes I can’t do much other than listen if it is something I know nothing about, but that is a good learning opportunity as long as the person isn’t obnoxious. If they are, I find a way to excuse myself as quickly as possible.

PPFFTT…I’ve not had it done to me, but I’ve sure seen it happen on here with the younger people. Trying to out do someone else sometimes runs rampant. That’s when I start my eye-rolling.

@jbfletcherfan Through being involved way to often in conversations with people who just want to tell there story, its really nice to hear positivism

Hmm, no, I don’t generally thing people are trying to out-do you…it helps that I’m generally an arrogant person

@Simone_De_Beauvoir well said for arrogant behavior!

Yes, sometimes. I attribute this to human nature, and how some folks seem to suffer from their own self-created inferiority complex.

I am almost positive, more often than not, when I feel like I am being tested by others that I am very wrong. I’m just a very sensitive person. Maybe it is the same for you. Sadly, I do not think most people are sensitive or empathetic. Therefore they don’t really even listen to themselves speak for they are not capable of it, causing them to blurt out things and say whatever is on their tongues. Because the tongue is actually where the brain is located. Thinking processes go on inside of the mouth, not the head.

I like that you said you wait and listen for everything you can until interjecting your opinions to the topic, unless you know about it intimately. I have believed that everyone could be able to do this. Sadly, I have found that I was very wrong. It was wishful thinking on my part.

When I hear something I wonder about it and think for a while on it. Usually people do not know I am even interested because I have not spoken up and verbalized my attention directly to them. This always surprises me despite being a normal occurrence in my life, because I feel that a person does not show interest mostly by talking about it.

People love to talk, talk, talk and it will mostly come across as insolence because people are insensitive. Talking continuously makes people feel as though they are (or that their environment is) getting better because they are connecting in some way to another being and they feel that bond. Whether the topic is about nail polish or death and whether or not the speaker is rude does not matter. Conversing makes people feel accompanied.Talking excessively is the key to unlock loneliness’s manacles around the hands of human kind!