Why is it shameful to borrow money?

Well the way I see it, I don’t think it’s shameful as long as you pay back the person as soon as possible. However just taking it and running away with it, well, that’s just stealing

Because you were raised right. (That’s what the mortgage banker said when I asked him why he was recommending a second mortgage when I had always thought that it was a bad idea.)

Accept the loans gracefully with a written contract listing when they will be paid back at at what (if any) interest. Pay it off on time and feel assured that you’ve been a responsible, reliable friend or family member. And be thankful that you have friends and family that care enough and trust in you enough to loan you money.

depends on who you are borrowing it from.
your inner heart is genuine. you mean well. you really do need it. help a brother out for a minute. can you pay it back is on the mind of the loaner and therin lies the guilt, embarrasment or shame. ask and you shall receive. pay it back and you are trusted.

I blame it on Shakespeare. I honestly see no shame in borrowing money. I have borrowed when I needed to as well as lent. If you are comfortable with it, take the loan, pay the bills, and spare yourself the late fees. It is honestly no one’s business but yours and the other person involved in the transaction.

I don’t think it is shameful to borrow money when it is necessary. In your situation, there is no shame in it at all. We all come upon unforseen circumstances at some point or another and if you have family and friends that are willing to help you in a time of need and you pay them back in a timely manner there is nothing to be ashamed of.
Borrowing becomes more shameful when we borrow money from credit card companies for random crap unecessarily until we are up to our necks in debt and have nothing to show for it and no way to get out of it.

I don’t look down on it if there is a legitimate reason why someone needs to borrow money. In your case, you’re in a seriously bad situation and you are trying to make things work, but sometimes you just need a little extra help. I wouldn’t be embarrassed. But when people borrow money constantly and forget their wallet and bum food off you, then it gets annoying.

It isn’t shameful at all. It does change the balance of power. In your situation I would take a loan.

It’s normal to feel shame. But if family and good friends are offering, it’s best to take the offers. Please, I’m begging you to take it. You can always pay them back, and it’s easier to stay on top of things without having to pay late fees and double up on bills next month, and all that crap. It’s best to take it if it’s offered by people you know well and trust. Nobody feels good about having to borrow money, but just know that it’s not admitting that you’re not successful or failing at something. Everyone goes through hard times.

So long as you never ask for it, it shouldn’t be a problem (I don’t believe in absolutes, so of course there is an exception to this). Asking includes using puppy dog eyes or knowingly grabbing something you don’t have the cash for when you shop with someone (not nice to make them feel bad and get it for you at the checkout).

I feel the only people you can ask for money from, if you really need it, is your parents.

I look at it this way. If someone is asking me for money, they had better be okay with loaning me money if I really need it later on, and the same goes for myself. The only people I’ve asked to borrow money from is my parents, and that was before I became independent.

I usually only loan money to super close friends or in amounts I’d be okay (though still mad) if it never got paid back. If loaning money to others puts me at too much at risk (like not being able to pay bills, etc), I won’t loan anyone money. I refuse to borrow from anyone other than my parents.

It should be noted that I have never been in a situation where I really, really, really needed that money. Also, I’m not as close to any of my family members as I am to my parents, so that’s why I only list my parents as okay people to loan from.

@dee1313: What about those of us whose parents are some combination of unwilling or unable?

@nikipedia I honestly don’t have an answer because I can’t get over my own situation. I am not close enough to any other family to ask for money from, though I know I have family that wouldn’t mind and can afford it. I also have never had a desperate need that couldn’t be taken care of in another manner. Though that ‘other manner’ for me was something only available only to those serving in the Navy and Marines, so we were lucky.

I would hope that everyone has someone that they are close to. I guess to put it loosely, someone that you are super close to. The people I have that are closest to me (you could also say these are the only people I would talk about my financial situation with) are my parents and my husband. No point in borrowing from my husband though, since that’d be like borrowing from myself.

It’s money. It’s little pieces of paper with no intrinsic meaning or value. Yes, we need it, but it means nothing. If I ever lend anyone anything I do so with no expectations of getting it back. That way, I only lend what I am willing to lose. That is of more value to me than money.

No shame Niki girl. When are you coming up? It’s going to be hot as a mother, but free Universal Studios.

No shame at all. What is shameful is that the person who owes you the money doesn’t find a way to cover his/her obligation to you.

@PandoraBoxx Great answer! I completely agree. I think I got off topic with my answer. In regards to shamefulness, that’s it.

It’s shameful because a person should be able to work for a day and not have to ask for help. If you bust your ass physically for 10 hours a day and you have to decide if your children get school supplies or your electricity stays on, that’s fucked!.

I think the only time borrowing may become shameful is if you do it excessively, or when you don’t bother to pay back your debt. A lot of people fall on hard times, and in those times you shouldn’t be ashamed to ask for a little assistance from those you trust – like close friends and family.

Personally, I only borrow when I know I really need it. And even then it’s mostly from my mom. I never ask my friends for money, because I’ve seen a lot of drama that can involve from that, even if the loan is payed off. You have to be careful of who you borrow from.

Borrowing, some people believe, is shameful because it says you can’t take care of yourself. You are dependent on others. You are a burden when you should be making your own way through the world, not asking anything of anyone else. It’s like socialism, is what it is! Or charity. Yeah, no one wants to be in a position where they need the charity of others.

Blanche DuBois: Whoever you are, I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.

Few people really want to be in that position. Of course, for you, it’s not the kindness of strangers, but of those who love you. Depending on the values of your family of origin, this may or may not be a big deal. I think most families, these days, believe that you should help out family when they are in need. They don’t want you turning to strangers. On the other hand, they don’t want to “lend” you money when they think you are just mooching to feed your drug habit.

Personally, I think borrowing is fine, especially when you pay for the privilege, like when getting a mortgage or a car loan. Borrowing from family—is there anyone who has never done that? Perhaps. But I did it often, and I bet a lot of people have done it. There’s really no shame there, unless it becomes a crutch. You’re not making it a crutch, so no biggie.

Thanks for the words of wisdom, everybody. I swallowed my pride and accepted a loan from my best friend. Bills will all be paid on time.

@tinyfaery: Soon, things have been crazy…PM me your email address?

@marina Does it have to do change the balance of power? My feelings are that if the borrower is living up to their financial agreement to pay back money at a certain rate, then the balance of power stays the same, assuming the lender is not attempting to throw their weight around but even that will only shift the balance if the lender submits. However, if the borrower is not living up to an agreement to pay money back at a certain rate then I guess the balance of power might very well shift in favour of the lender, although I could also imagine that a borrower who wasn’t paying money back _despite an ability to do so, might disagree entirely; they simply may not care.