What can I do to get rid of this cat that my parents love but is unhealthy for them?

Well, you could stop assuming that your parents are invalids who can’t think for themselves, and you could stop neglecting the emotional well-being and health that their attraction to their cat provides them….

Animal / cat sanctuary or animal rescue would be your best bet .

Stay out of their business. If they want to keep the pet, let them. They could easily shut their bedroom door if the cat bothers them very much. Offer to take it off their hands if they choose, but do not pressure them whatsoever.

Has it crossed your mind that you don’t know what’s best for them all the time? They’re adults.

In the case of my own 90 year old grandmother, she benefited greatly from having something smaller and weaker than herself that needed her help.

I was say that the decision is up to your parents. Just because they are elderly doesn’t mean that they need to be treated like children.

A better option would be to offer to help them out – buy the heavy bags of food, clean the litter box for them, maybe put in a cat door. That way you can minimize the difficulty for them without making arbitrary decisions for them.

mom you must have left the door open last night, I can’t find mittens anywhere

MYOB
That’s what you can do

I can’t believe how rude some people on here are being. :/

Since they care about other people than themselves so much, you could point out that it would be a good favor for YOU if they got rid of the cat, because you would stop worrying about them.

But are you sure that the cat’s bad for them?

@syz There’s a echo in your voice

@YoKoolAid It is admirable for you to be so concerned about your parents, but I think you need to take a look at the entire rang of effects the cat is having on your parents’ life and lifestyle. Are the midnight snacktimes really affecting your parent’s health and/or well being? You said they are too giving and loving to let it go. If the cat disappears, as some would suggest, or if it is given up, it might have a negative effect on their well-being and overall lifestyle.

@pdworkin pump the brakes there Tomcat.

Kindly do not instruct me on how to answer questions on Fluther, unless you are doing so in your official capacity as a moderator @ABoyNamedBoobs03

I hear they taste like chicken.

@ChazMaz Well kinda true. They taste a little less tender and more on the chewy side. Plus the after taste is awful.

Well there ya go!

How about if marinated for a few days, with some garlic, olive oil, salt and pepper?

“They are getting old, in a few years they will be in their 70’s. This cat will wake them up in the middle of the night b/c he wants to be fed, or he wants to go out.”

First of all, when people are seventy, they are not a hundred-and-ten (my parents (seventyish) are more active then am i).
And how do you know that the cat will wake them up or wants to be fed or go out?
If i assume he/she is not doing this already, then why would he/she start doing this when your parents age?

For cats who go on nightly walks there are cat-doors.
Someone else mentioned to close the door to the bedroom.
And feed kitty just before sleep, would be good to keep him from waking your parents.

Could y’all be any more rude?

Your parents probably like the company of the cat and having something to care for. I’m sure they’ve taken their health into consideration.

It’s very kind of you to be concerned about your parents’ well being. I won’t be as harsh as some above because I believe you are well-intended. However, they’re older and wiser than you! The cat probably helps them a lot more than hurts them. Maybe suggest giving the cat its final meal right before bed time. This is what we do at our house because our cat will do the same thing- wake us up at 3 a.m. for food if we don’t feed her right before bed. Trust their judgment. They probably enjoy having to care for something. If they’re already on a dozen meds, a cat isn’t going to matter one bit to their health. Know what I mean? Good luck.

Also, welcome to Fluther. I hope the rudeness displayed above doesn’t deter you from returning.

It’s never a good idea to tell your parents what to do. Talk to them about how you feel and let them make a decision. If they decide to give up the cat try to find it a home or a no kill shelter.

I can understand your concern over your parents, but the decision should be left up to them. Cats, especially adult cats, really don’t need a lot in the way of active interaction. A cat is happy to curl up on your lap, stay in the same room, be talked to, etc. It’s not like an energetic dog that must be walked, cleaned up after, and bathed.

My grandma is in her 90’s and has a cat that she adores. I think the cat has been really good for her, even though she needs help to change the litter box (my brother, who gave her the cat, does it for her). There’s a reason nursing homes and therapy groups sometimes have cats or dogs visit—their presence is good for people.

@rebbel brings up some good ideas. If a cat door would be helpful, offer to install one for your parents. If the cat wakes them up at night, suggest they feed it later in the evening or leave out a dish of food. I’ve never heard of a cat doing waking people up in the middle of the night, and we had several house cats when I was growing up.

If your parents love this cat, I can’t believe you would consider taking it to the shelter! It’s chances are slim to actually be adopted out- mostly kittens get adopted and not many adult cats. The reason people are being rude is because it is shocking that you automatically assume that the cat is bad for them… it’s their cat, their life, their decision. There are benefits to owning animals, and let them weigh the pros and cons on their own.

Are you aware of studies which have been done that show significant benefits to the elderly fromcaring for pets?

I’m poor at remembering specific numbers but one result is far fewer doctors visits

Another is significantly lower blood pressure

Doctors are increasingly recommending pets for their elderly patients who are open to pet ownership.

Before you conclude that the cat is harmful or of no benefit to your parents.

I think you are genuinely concerned for them but focusing on the cat is quite misguided. Do you honestly think that the grieving process and anxiety it would put them through if you chose to underhandedly get rid of the cat could possibly be good for them in any conceivable way?

Are you aware of the statistics regarding the chances of an adult cat being adopted rather than put down. The result of a search on that would shock you.

I’m with the majority here let you parents decide what’s best for themselves.

Wow what kind and welcoming bunch of people some of you are. I admit I’m being presumptuous that the cat is having a negative effect, but I’m just concerned. I acknowledge the emotional benefit the cat has on them, but i guess I’m just more focused on the negative physical effects. So i guess the real question is do the emotional benefits outweigh the negative physical aspects.

@BBSDTfamily @teh_kvlt_liberal @pdworkin the health and well being of my parents is none of my business? I’ve done nothing but addressed my concern to my parents how is that interfering?

Also, it’s not like they’re retired and have nothing to do all day, they have to get up early and go to work. Yes it’s good that it makes them feel good to take care of something but having to wake up at 4am 3–5 nights a week can’t be good for them. They do feed the cat right before they go to sleep which is around 12, 1am that’s just how they are and they refuse to shut their bedroom door for the cat’s sake. Thank you to those who gave positive advice.

oh yeah… and i’m not going to cook the cat

I have to admit, I’m puzzled. Your parents are in their 60’s – that’s not that old. Your parents are fit enough to work – that’s hardly infirm. Why do you feel the need to make this decision for them?

“They are getting old, in a few years they will be in their 70’s.”

This means that they are currently in their 60’s. Unless they are suffering from Alzheimer’s or some other form of dementia they are hardly “old” enough to be unable to decide for themselves what is best for them. Now if you said that they have twenty cats that leave poop and pee on every surface of the house, then you could logically be expected to step in as your parents would be classified as hoarders, which is a form of mental disfunction.

However, since they have just one cat, and since they choose to let the cat in the bedroom with them, and because they are apparently self-supporting and gainfully employed, I think you are showing them great disrespect.

It is terrific that you care about their well-being, but surely there are other things you may need to look at first, such as some of the conditions underlying their need for multiple medications. For example, do they eat too much salt? Drink to excess? Weigh too much for their height and age? Neglect to exercise?

It has long been shown that caring for a pet is beneficial both physically and mentally in part because of the unconditional love the pet shows. Perhaps your parents would do better if you could show some of that unconditional love as well.

On the contrary, that cat may be good for your parents well being.
Taking care of a pet is not normally a health risk.

Taking away their pet would be cruel.

Hey! I’m in my 60’s!

When my dog wakes me in the middle of the night it is because she has an urgent need, and can’t wake anyone else!

OTOH, when I wake my dog in the middle of the night, it’s because I fell down and need her to help me get back up.

Milo here: I keep Gail looking trim in her jeans. I allow her to bench press me, which is good for her bones, I sit on her at night while she is reading, eliminating the extra blanket, and for some reason, I hear her laughing a lot.

@YoKoolAid No, you aren’t just voicing your concerns… you’re thinking about stealing your parent’s cat which they want because you don’t think they need it. And you’re asking a Fluther group how to “get rid” of the cat you yourself say your parents love!!

I admit my wording of my question is harsh and if I could rephrase it I would, more along the lines of “what can I do about….”
I know it’s ultimately their decision, and I haven’t forced anything upon them or “told them what to do”. I’ve only addressed my concern for their health, what is wrong with that.

Nothing’s wrong with that. It’s the plotting to go behind their back and make the decision for them that everyone has chastised you for. It’s the implication that you think your parents can’t take care of themselves, aren’t capable individuals able to make their own decisions, that everyone chastised you for.

I said in my question description that I considered taking him away but realized that would be wrong and I wouldn’t do that

No, that’s not what you said in your question details. You said that part of you “wants” to. Present-tense, but that you know it would be wrong. That does not imply that you decided not to.

Even ignoring that, it doesn’t address the rest of the issue – you thinking your parents are not capable of making their own decisions, that you know better than them.

I never said I knew better than them, I just want to see them live through their 80’s and 90’s. I guess I should just accept this cat, even if he takes 5 mins off my mom’s life, I should be glad he brought her happiness.

confused?

I am at least several years older than your mom and dad. My cat is very little work (except for disposing of 24 dead mice this summer, but that isn’t so bad.) He makes me laugh a lot and is increasing my life span (and I have no husband to help).

@Ansible1 Their cat is not going to kill them. Chill.
They got a handle on things. They raised at least one child which is a lot harder than caring for a cat.

@YoKoolAid In that case, then I apologize for being so harsh. From the title and the question, I took it the wrong way, but those were the only things I had to go on. I’m glad you are respecting your parent’s choice. I think you should let them know that if it ever becomes too much for them, you will assist them in making sure their cat finds another loving home. That way they don’t feel pressured to keep him.

A cat will do more good then bad unless its bad, than that is another question-is it a bad cat, then you got a philosophical question
My cats are annoying at times, but their good far outweighs their bad, by my definition. I have always heard about these studies on how wonderful a pet is for the elderly, the caring and unconditional love a pet can produce.
I know I would be a basket case if I got rid of my “fatso” like I so desperately tried to do while it was deciding it was moving in.
I use to get asthma attacks around the cat, but she got to me. I have adapted and I am no longer, despite my allergist denying this possible until he saw the results from the skin test- Cat dander had dropped to 4th place.

@Garebo

Are you aware that those weekly shots which are such a part of their bread and butter basically contain the very substances to which folks are allergic? The whole theory behind it is that gradual repeated exposure de-sensitizes the individual and eliminates their allergic response.

So instead of getting the substance in the form of an injection, you just bypassed that and got it straight from the source—the cat itself.

:)

I think you should just let them have the cat. If they couldn’t care for it, they would have recognized that themselves. Animals are great for people.

sry for confusion, my g/f posted on my account she has good intensions don’t be mean

Having a pet is documented to both improve quality of life and extend life. An example: the survival rates of heart-attack victims who had a pet were 28 percent higher than those of patients who didn’t have an animal companion.

Thus, by taking away the cat you would actually be shortening your parents’ lives. In other words, you are incorrect in assuming that the cat is a health risk. It is not.

Go focus on something that really is a health risk for your parents. Help them with any of the following that you can:

* Don’t over sleep
* Be optimistic
* Have more sex
* Get a pet
* Be rich (mentally)
* Stop smoking
* Chill out
* Eat antioxidants
* Exercise
* Laugh a little
* Lose weight
* Manage stress
* Meditate

Then you really will help your parents live longer and better lives.

When you reach the advanced age of 60ish and upwards, most don’t sleep very well anyhow, so while I am up taking care of my own toilet needs, the dogs go out also.

So I wouldn’t worry about the cat waking them up, they are probably already awake!

Milo here; Gail is looking stunning in her jeans this morning and appears to be decades away from needing adult diapers. But that’s my prejudiced opinion. (I usually am right about everything, in spite of that undignified red beret that @rooeytoo gave me.)

To Milo from @rooeytoo‘s gorgeous avatar model, the Town Dog – did you see the orange bows she put in my amazing ears and around my neck too, I know it is for a good cause, but I am so embarrassed. Why do these crazy humans do these things????

You two should consider yourselves eminently fortunate that she is far too sensible and compassionate to subject you to tattoos or piercing as SOME other idiots have done.

So kwitchercomplainin. Things could be a whole lot worse.

A little creative photoshop cyber-decoration never hurt
anyone. It could be a whole lot worse.

:)

@TheTown Dog from Milo: Dang!

Ok I completely understand that you are concerned for your parents health. My grandparents are both in their 60’s , my grandmother like your parents is under a lot of medications, however, we still have a cat. My 92 year old great grandmother is also living with them, and is the one who takes care of the cat the most. She loves sleeping with the cat on the bed, she feeds him twice a day (the normal and best serving for a cat or else its over feeding) , and most of all she feels a lot better having the cat with her in the house. Its been proven that older people who own animals are much happier, and in fact helps their health. Because it is a type of therapy, which boosts confidence, and prevents the feelings of being worthless plus provides companionship. I think that both of your parents being in their 60’s are perfectly capable of taking care of a cat, and should keep the cat if it makes them happy. And like others above putting in a kitty door would be a good solution if the cat wants to go out late at night. So rethink your feelings about this cat living with your parents, you may just be over stressing it. Its great to care, but sometimes over stressing and over caring isn’t so good. Good luck!