Is Chivalry dead?

because enough creepy guys do those things, many women associate it with “trying too hard”. conversely, when you don’t, some women complain you’re self-centered.

i blame automatic doors and Joe Francis.

Chivalry is sexist. If it’s dead, I won’t miss it. Politeness is different; if you’re going to hold doors open and such, don’t just do it for one gender. It’s ridiculous to think that a certain gender deserves special treatment. It’s polite to do it for anyone regardless of gender. Now, I can understand if it’s your girlfriend or wife or something, but if it’s just some random woman or a friend, it’s stupid.

Fuck ‘em. There’s still some appreciatin’ women out there.

No and not all women are creeped out by it.

@DominicX men respond poorly to another man holding the door for them, save for older men who may need assistance.

@hungryhungryhortence maybe it’s because i go “must be jelly…” when they walk past. who can tell?~

Chivalry is still alive and kicking in some people. I always appreciate it when a man holds the door for me or offers to pull out my chair.

I hold doors open to anyone and I feel like everyone reciprocates that. I remember one time I actually forgot to hold the door open for a stranger at a restaurant and she basically yelled at me for it. (ok she didn’t yell-but she made loud comments about how rude I was to her husband.) Now pulling out a chair is just awkward and weird, even if she’s your gf or wife.

I’ve never understood the huge issue with being a gentlemen all of a sudden. it’s not sexist, If I was interested in men, perhaps I’d give them my coat when it’s cold out too, but I’m not, so I don’t, that’d be awkward.

@p_rog, or Jewish, amiright?

I think that some chivalry is seen as a good thing, while some is seen as trying to hard. Opening the car door, for example, is seen as trying too hard. Its awkward. However, opening a door that you’re also going through is not awkward. Pulling out a chair can be awkward or non-awkward depending on the situation. I think that people just have to find a balance of what works in the situation.

Paying excessive compliments is always awkward.

You’re fuckin’ A right it is bitch!

@DominicX It’s True, When I hold doors open for other guys (excluding elderly and teachers/ employers) they tell me to F**k Off. Girls and women simply say thanks, or look at me funny (once again excluding elderly, teachers and employers etc.)

@kevbo don’t feed the trolls.

@eponymoushipster, don’t rain my personal Slim Jim commercial. ;-)

My husband opened the car door for me every time – when we were dating. Amazing how marriage changes things. LOL I thought it was sweet because it was sincere.

I appreciate chivalry and men doing the things associated with it, but I also like the fact that women now do most of those things too – like holding doors open, helping elderly shopping bags or dropped canes, giving up their seats, letting others go ahead of them in line, etc.

@XOIIO I’m relatively certain that when you hold doors for people they’re not telling you to fuck off.

I wish some people were chivalrous when I was trying to ride a bus up and down hills on crutches. Always thought I was going to topple over. Instead, most people just sat there and looked at me. I think there are some circumstances where chivalry is still the norm, both for men and women.

Worse than the bus was stupid bitches walking through the door when I hit the handicap button and me having to hit it again… Kinda holding the door open so I can hop through, okthanksskankho!

oh dear. the troll was banned. is troll chivalry dead?

I don’t know if chivalry is dead, but politeness never goes out of style. Due to the training of my job, I call every person I speak to Sir or Ma’am (or Miss, if the female looks under 40), I hold doors for everyone, no matter their age, and I try to smile at everyone I see.

My normal facial features make me look grumpy, so I have been working on trying to look less like a serial killer and more like a friendly neighbor. Being nice to people, even complete strangers, pays off more dividends that being a dick to everyone.

You can always laugh at them behind their back later. =)

Politeness is alive and well. Chivalry is too heterocentric for my tastes.

I am a female feminist who loves Chivalry.

I am a male chauvinist who loves Chivalry. Just kidding. About the chauvinist part.

No, chivalry is not dead. I still practice it at least twice a week. I can also be polite when the mood hits me which is quite often in most cases.

I still see it around, so it’s not dead.

I don’t like someone allowing a door to slam in my face and I don’t do it to others regardless of whether they are female or male. If my husband reaches the car before me and we are on my side then he opens the door. I am more in favor of common courtesy and manners than chivalry.

As @Supacase said above, it always seems to be more prevalent during the dating and wooing stage of a relationship!

I find it romantic and quite sexy.

Chivalry is not dead, but it seems to be dying. My SO opens doors for me, pulls out chairs to seat me when we eat out, and walks on the curb side of the sidewalk to be ‘protective.” When he opens a door for me, he holds it open for other people walking in as well. I have watched several times as people scowled at him for this.

He gets frustrated by this, saying “you’d think people would at least say thank you.” I tell him that he expects to much of strangers. People are who they are, and we can only take them as they are. If we expect them to act a certain way, we will sadly be disappointed time after time. But that doesn’t mean you should change who you are or what you do. Being polite to others is a wonderful thing to do even if it is at times a thankless task.

One day, you will find someone who truly appreciates it and you will reap the rewards of your kindness. Don’t give up just yet. keep being the gentleman that you are and know that there are still people out there who applaud your efforts.

I was wondering this just the other day, when a guy walking next to me in the subway lengthened his stride in order to get through a narrow doorway before me, and then immediately stopped dead in his tracks once he was through the door to start texting on his phone. I let him have it, and he seemed surprised that he was doing something annoying and offensive.

I still see chivalry for the elderly and the very pregnant here in New York occasionally, but I still find that I’m usually the only person on a subway car who’ll offer my seat.

And actually, people are usually quite chivalrous to women with baby strollers, even so far as to carry the front end up stairs.

it’s only ‘dead’ because a lot of people consider it sexist. i don’t. what is it my business if that guy who’s holding the door for me may only do that for women? it’s not. i’m not going to be a bitch to him because he’s only holding the door open for me because i’m a girl. i’d say thank you. common sense to me.

@evelyns_pet_zebra: You just articulated what I could not but that’s about it, right on!

@hungryhungryhortence what’s funny is that offering a complete stranger something as simple as a smile or a mere “hello, how are you doing” can often make a difference in their whole day.

Sort of off topic, but my habit of shaking the hands of war veterans and thanking them for their service has created relationships for me that I cherish. Not all of them see my gratitude as necessary or even warranted, but there are a few (especially Nam vets) that are nearly moved to tears by something as simple as a sincere ‘Thank You.’

I just thought I’d say that someone offered me his seat yesterday on BART (which I accepted). It was just some young guy in his ‘20s. I didn’t see it as “chivalrous”, I saw it as polite and of course I appreciated it. I guess I looked pretty tired and pathetic, not to mention I was with a bike that is still too big for me. And of course he didn’t have to do it; I wasn’t standing there thinking “oh, he better give me his seat. I need it more!”.

But I don’t prefer most other acts of “chivalry”. If my boyfriend started opening car doors for me and walking on the curb side of the sidewalk on purpose, I would think it weird. It’s not what I like. There are so many other things he does that I love; I don’t need him to do things for me that I can do myself.

Also, @rooeytoo, I always push the door open extra and hold onto it when someone is coming in behind me so they don’t have to grab the door and open it again, but I don’t step outside of the doorway and let other people go in first.

Furthermore, the word sexist has two definitions. “Chivalry” matches the first definition: behavior conforming to traditional gender roles. Nowhere in that definition does it say “evil” or “bad”.

You can hold the door for me any time, but I will be especially grateful if my arms are full. In either case, I will say thank you.

yeah like @DominicX said…
it’s dead to me and I don’t need it
that doesn’t mean I don’t want or give respect from and to people, regardless of gender

I found an interesting article that addresses this subject.