Do you want to be known?
This is inspired by a question about why people tell much more intimate stuff on the internet, where they may be anonymous, than in person. Some people said that because it can’t get back to them, they can say stuff. One person said that they say the same stuff here as they say in real life. Another said that if they are identified by someone they know in real life, it’s not necessarily a bad thing.
I think shame is generally what keeps us from being more open about ourselves in real life. We are afraid people will think badly of us, and our reputations will be smeared if they really knew what we think or do.
Yet these things are all part of us. The Compleat Daloon, so to speak. It would be so much more relaxing if we could talk about everything and know we would still be loved, not judged. But if you have an affair, and confess it, you’ll probably lose your significant other, and maybe even a lot of your friends.
Would you rather be known, if possible? Under what conditions do you think it would be possible for you to talk about the whole you? Examples of things you think you might be stigmatized for would help. What stigma do you face, and how would people close to you have to react for you to talk about the compleat you? Perhaps most importantly, do you think being able to be completely known would feel better? Or are there some things that you would keep private even if you knew you would not be judged for them?
Observing members:
0
Composing members:
0
28 Answers
I believe that those who never recieve some criticism for their views must not be presenting their whole real selves or dont really have much at all to say.
From my perspective, those that strive to always be agreed with are wasting everyones time, including their own.
There are certain societal rules in place (alot of which are real laws, punishable by hard time) that probably are best kept enforced, even though they will prohibit people from showing their full selves. Personally.. for ME.. it’s important that someone knows. Not everyone. Not MANY. But at least ONE person. I think everyone would like to have at least ONE person they can talk to about anything. One person who will accept them despite their flaws or psychological struggles. Two or three is great too, but probably asking for too much. I guess there are certain things I like to keep private even if it’s no big deal telling them. It’d probably cause less arguments if I just came out with it. But sometimes you want to seem like someone else for a minute. Someone who has something you don’t, or something you do but which they achieved much sooner. Back to the rules, though.. I think shame is a necessary evil, to some degree. Anarchy sounds fun to people at first, but when you really think about human nature and what behavioral chaos would take place in a world without shame… It’s just safer this way.
People know me already. I’m ok with it.
I try to be honest on here with my views. I don’t think I say stuff on here that is contriversial, but that’s because I am a lover not a fighter, and don’t go looking for people to disagree with me, and I don’t expect everyone to agree with me either, I’m not that arrogant that I believe I am always in the right.
There are certain things I like to keep private and wouldn’t tell people who I know or those I don’t…
Some people feel it’s ok to show everyone what they are thinking all the time, but I beleive if you don’t have anything nice to say about a person then stay quiet.
I believe in being known by my actions. I try to be genuine in 99.9% of my interactions with other people (whether online or in person). I figure if I am honest and consistent in my dealings with people it accomplishes two things:
1) It simplifies my life. I have no interest in or patience for maintaining a persona.
2) It allows people who “hang around” me enough to create a composite of me. This way I am “known” by those who take the time to “be” with me.
Will they ever completely “know” me. No, but I don’t think I’ll ever completely “know” myself – and that’s OK.
People know enough about me now to make a decision. Just read my answers on Fluther.
As for the very deep dark secret horribly embarrassing things, well, they are only a small part of who I am, and the handful of people that do know those things about me, still think I’m A-OK.
My husband knows me and he still loves me. He even likes me. That’s good enough for me.
Irrelevant. Will be dead.
When I meet new people whom I want to befriend now (online and off), I’m an open book. I don’t mind letting these people know who I am. I don’t mind letting them know my flaws, too. I want them to know from the jump what I’m all about. I haven’t always done this with people in the past and I find it’s to my own detriment.
So, do I want to be known? Yes, I want people know the real me.
I could be famous, but tell myself I don’t want to be. That’s the nexus of my sorrow.
Does anyone want to like, you know, make out?
how did you whisper, I can’t figure that out.
@bumwithablackberry type a double dash on each side of the sentence or word you want to whisper.
@bumwithablackberry: double-dash on either end of what you type. Like this (without the spaces):
—w h a t?!?—
@eponymoushipster: Jinx – cookie.
And I’m not sure my sorrow has a nexus. It’s more of an epicenter.
Poo wow that’s awesome, is that so older people with poor eyesight are less inclined to read it? I really do like old people
@bumwithablackberry good question, I wear magnifying lenses over my regular prescription glasses to see the normal type, but the Control + buttons on my keyboard bring the whisper up to a legible size
I am known, by anyone I invest any time in. A large part of the reason I make it a point to be known is to be helpful to others. Not one of us is perfect, not one of us un-scarred by something in our lives. If I am honest and open about my views, my imperfections and flaws, and my history… I think that can help others who are having a difficult time in their own lives. It helps to know there are other people who have been where you are, and have made it through.
It can also make a difference in a wider way. If I have the respect of someone (or they already like me), and I admit that, say, I’ve had an abortion or am a high school dropout (both true), it can change a person’s way of thinking about “those people”. “Those people” do not exist. We are, simply, people. Just like anyone else. If we were all that open, I truly believe it would narrow some of the chasms that keep people apart.
My life is very much an open book. If people could really “know” each other by telepathy or some such, I would have no problem with that.
I do have a problem with some of the stuff that appears on the internet, though. My reputation has been attacked by a mentally ill stalker who publicly published some untrue things about me, and I don’t like that a lie like that is available to anyone who cares to look.
Yeah! I’m one helluva guy.
I had a moment today that reminded me of this question. I was chatting with my ex-MIL on facebook (we are still close and we respect one another), when health care reform came up. In the past, we’ve never talked politics, so I had no clue where she stood on this issue. As you might have noticed, I am very much in favor of a public option. Well, as it turns out, she is very much against it. We didn’t have a ton of time to get into all the details, but we both made some salient points.
Now, do I think either of us is going to change our minds based on this exchange? Probably not. But, it’s one brick down in the wall that separates us. Now she knows, for sure, that she likes and respects at least one person on the other side of the divide, and I know the same. Perhaps we will both be less likely to jump to the conclusion that those on the “other side” are just idiots. ;-)
Yes, I want to be known for having very little notoriety. <—- And for creating a pretty decent oxymoron too.
@Bluefreedom you are known very well on here, and your little bit of notoreity has become your day in the sun. Anyone who DOESN’T love @Bluefreedom, please raise you hand.
Just like I thought, no hands went up. anyone that did, we would have had them shot!
@evelyns_pet_zebra. You’re always a class act, my friend. Thanks for the kind words and have a great day. =)
I agree with the shame to some extent, the need to hide aspects of yourself, alothuh it doesn’t take the internet for people to act in that way, but in some respects it is a kind of therapy, being able to reach opinions and understandings that your day-to-day life and friends may not provide, which is after all the whole point of Fluther
It would be nice, but I don’t expect it.
Answer this question 
Composing members:
0
