What do you do when youre still in love with the boy who broke your heart?

Make the problem “disappear”...

He’s an awful best friend to your husband, that’s for sure. What kind of guy goes around flirting with his best friends wife. It tells me he’s a snake and bad news.

I would speak to him about it privately first. Tell him that you think his behavior is inappropriate and disloyal to your husband, and to you. If he does not stop the flirting, then you need to tell your husband about his behavior, not necessarily yours. It would just hurt him unnecessarily. In the meantime, you need to make an effort to get over this other guy. You say you love your husband – then make that your focus. You can get over this.

I think she loves the attention, or she would tell the bloke to go away.

I just keep on rockin’ in the free world

Yes, this is a loopy and complicated. It is a fantasy vs reality problem.

You enjoy fantasizing about what could be and you sort of don’t want to your fantasies up. Yet, you have the reality of being married to one person and fantasizing about another.

If your question is whether you should cheat on your husband and go play in the fantasy world the answer is NO.

If your question is how to get the fantasies under control so you are not distracted by them and won’t act on them, the answer is easy. Sit down with both your husband and his best friend and tell them both at the same time what you are feeling, that you are not going to cheat, and ask for both of their help dealing with the problem. Once you reveal the fantasy, it will lose power.

In your question there is this: “the boy who broke your heart”.
You mean that he broke it because he was the one that ended the relation, thus breaking your heart?
Or is your heart broken because your are sad that you and him couldn’t stay together (it was a mutual deciscion)?
Or did he do something that made you brake up with him?

If he broke it because he cheated on you or broke your trust in him in an other way, then you should be a warned person.

And like @zephyr826 said: focus on the man you married and whoom you say you love.
Focus on his good, funny, sweet side.

The boy that broke my heart (almost 34 years ago) grew up to be quite unattractive, married an even more unattractive woman, has three kids, and lives somewhere in Fresno, CA.

He has suffered enough, I can forget about him now. =)

@evelyns_pet_zebra, you stole my story only he’s somewhere in North Carolina!

@unit, @teh_kvlt_liberal Read the question. Granted, she hid it well, but its there: There is still a connection there but Im married now and I keep telling myself to let it go but I cant.. can anyone give me some advice on what to do to let this go fully?

I should be the last one to give advice about love, heck I should be banned from questions like this. But it’s obvious that old boyfriend needs to stop hitting on you. Maybe he’s not even doing it with an agenda, tell him to stop it. He had his chance, screwed up, you deemed him not worthy of your love. What changed? Are you in love with your old boyfriend or are you in love with this idea you have in your head. Think hard because the two are very different.

@Judi Yes he does sound like a sorry excuse for a best friend.

I was trying to humor her :(
I’m sorry I wasn’t helping:((((

There is a time and place for everything. I’m not the biggest fan of your humor but joking about how she needs to run off with this guy, crashing her marriage and breaking three hearts is not my kind of humor. If it is your opinion that she should cheat on her husband than tell her to, don’t let Neil Young fight your battles.

Tell your husband.
This “friend” need to go.

Unless you are liking him close.

It’s up to you. You can try to honor the promises you made, or you can be honorable, and divorce your husband if you feel you want to be with someone else. If you’re trying to persuade yourself to stop these thoughts, then just think about the pain it would cause your husband, and you.

However, I do think you need to examine your relationship with your husband. I don’t believe these feelings would be so troublesome unless there is some lack of communication between you and your husband.

Finally, what @PerryDolia said rings true for me. Love at first sight is a fantasy. It is dangerous to let a fantasy guide your life. It usually will cause you to make choices you end up regretting. It rarely ends up well. The only stories that make it into the fairy tales are the ones where it works out. But the stories where it doesn’t work out probably outnumber those where it does ten to one.

I can’t help wondering what you’re saying in calling this person a boy every time you refer to him. I wonder if you also think of your husband as a boy. And of yourself as a girl. I am looking for the adults in this picture.,

Decide if you want to be a grown woman or an immature girl. An immature girl would fixate on these “feelings” she’s allowing herself to have and potentially impair (if not ruin) her marriage. A grown woman would devote herself to her husband (assuming you’ve chosen wisely and he’s worthy). A grown woman would tell her husband’s best friend to stop flirting with her and inform her husband if he didn’t. A grown woman would control herself and dedicate her life to her life partner.