Is it okay for a father to kiss his son on the lips?

I think one allows the child to determine what’s appropriate, up to a certain point. I have 12-year-old twins, a boy and a girl. I used to kiss them both on the lips, now I kiss neither of them on the lips. At some point they began offering their cheeks, and that was my signal that lip-kissing was over, at least for now.

I agree with pdworkin. I see nothing wrong with it as long as the Father follows the son’s lead and doesn’t make him uncomfortable.

It depends on the individuals involved…my youngest brother, 12, still kisses my dad on the lips, but my other brother, who is 15, barely even hugs my dad (I’m sure it’s just a phase.) Meanwhile, my uncle kisses his dad, my grandpa, on the lips, but my dad only shakes his dad’s hand…I’ve never seen them even hug.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with dads and sons kissing on the lips, just the same as I don’t think there’s anything wrong with any family members kissing on the lips as long as it’s G-rated, obviously, and it doesn’t make any of the involved parties uncomfortable.

As long as there’s no tongue involved.

Damn it SB you stole my answer!
Prepare to die!

I don’t see anything wrong with it.

Yes, although I think it may stop in the teenage years (or slightly earlier). Until then, it is perfectly acceptable.

For females, kissing both parents on the lips need not ever stop. I am 23 and still peck both of my parents on the lips when I see them.

@teh_kvlt_liberal BRING IT ON!

As long as it stops when the son feels uncomfortable, no problem.

My boys, 4 and 6 years old, kiss their dad on the lips. I think they prefer it because his stubbly cheeks are so scratchy! There’s nothing wrong with a peck on the lips, IMO. I’m sure that someday the boys won’t kiss either of us on the lips.

As for other people, it just depends on your comfort level. No big deal.

depends on where his hands are.

french kissing all the way

When I was younger, I always kissed my closest relatives on the lips. As I’ve gotten older and begun to associate kissing with romantic relationships, I find I’m now uncomfortable kissing these same people on the lips. My 9-year-old sister always wants to give me a big smooch on the kisser, and I find myself offering my cheek instead.

When I stop and think about it, though, I don’t see why it should be a big deal, provided, of course, that the purest intentions are intended.

Well, of course it’s okay, depending on many many things!!! ;)

When I was a kid, I never liked the idea of kissing my parents on the lips, so I never did it. I loved cheek kisses though. Some kids are okay with it, so no problems there. A peck is okay. But try not to do it in front of their friends, especially for a boy, it might embarrass them!

I still stand by what I said about it before: it’s fine if both the kids and the parents are fine with it. What else would the problem be? I don’t think it’s “weird”. Yes, it was never done to me, my parents always kiss me on my cheek, forehead, or the top of my head, but that doesn’t mean I find it weird or inappropriate. I hate being cliche, but truly: whatever your floats your boat. :)

I vote “nay”. That’s way too creepy (any kind of relative-kissing is, really).

edit: for the record, I cannot remember EVER kissing any relatives of mine. Hugging, sure, but not kissing.

It’s not what my parents did.
Lip kissing is more intimate than a kiss on the cheek or forehead.
It’s my opinion that this practice is best left for romantic situations.

I don’t think anyone needs their kids taken away on this basis though.

I agree with sarcasm, it creeps me out.
All I ever got from my parents was a handshake

I’m with @Sarcasm on this one.

Hugs will do just fine.

@Sarcasm I’m glad you don’t get to vote on my child-rearing practices.

It’s acceptable if they’re married to each other, or at least engaged to be married.

@ratboy You mean the father and son???

After a certain age for me, kissing on the lips no longer meant family love. It indicated lust or romantic love, and I just don’t have those feelings for my parents. Call me crazy…

I would hazard a guess that people who are disturbed by the idea have never kissed a kid on the lips. There’s nothing remotely sexual or romantic about it. As kids get older, kisses on the cheek become more common. I can see how lip kissing would seem strange after a certain age, but for a toddler or preschooler? It’s cute, especially when followed by a comment like, “When I grow up, I’m going to crush Daddy so I can marry you.” Awwwwwwwww!

It doesn’t really matter if it’s Mommy or Daddy getting/giving kisses on the lips. The only problem with it is if the parent has some kind of hang-up that they then pass on to the kid. I’m waiting for the day when someone wants to know if it’s normal for your young child to feel you up and then giggle. Ah, the joys of parenting.

The best way I can describe it is to compare it to hugging. I don’t hug my dad the same way I hug my husband. I don’t hug the kids the same way I hug my husband. My husband and I absolutely don’t kiss the kids the same way we kiss each other.

Thanks, @MissAusten, couldn’t have said it better myself, though I tried. GA.

@MissAusten

I don’t think anyone is claiming that it is sexual, I think they’re saying that kisses on the lips are reserved for sexual or romantic situations in their mind and that’s why they wouldn’t want to kiss their kid on the lips. I don’t see anything wrong with feeling that kisses on the lips should be reserved for romantic situations; it’s just a personal preference.

Absolutely, I’m 35 and still kiss my Dad and the majority of my male relatives on the lips, even doing it in some of the less salubrious bars in Manchester doesn’t cause mass panic!! My eldest boy who is 17 doesn’t feel uncomfortable with it, but I only get one on the cheek if my 10 year old is with his friends:-)

In some cultures around the this would be regarded as a very strange question as it’s done so routinely.

I don’t see anything wrong with this at all.

Nothing wrong with it at all, in my opinion.
I kiss my ex’ children (not mine) on the lips, on their cheeks, their foreheads, their hair, their hands.
I know them since they were born, i see them every other week or so, and i love them dearly, and they love me.
There is nothing even remotely sexual or romantic about it, just pure attachment and warmth.
When they grow older (they are now three and five) it might change to hugs or quick pecks.
I feel nothing but great love whenever they come running at me, jump in my arms and give me sweet kisses.

It’s a cultural thing.

I wonder why the question wasn’t- Is it okay for a mother to kiss her daughter on the lips?

Probably because it was asked by someone named Mark.

Because girl on girl is more acceptable than guy on guy!~

And what about a mom kissing a son, or a dad kissing a daughter?

sexist.

Does anyone else see a similarity of the male psyche with the issue raised in the question about how feminine acting men are regarded.

The degree of anxiety at being perceived tainted with homosexuality seems to know no bounds for the majority of American males. The nail-biting terror that accompanies the thought “but what if they think I’m a homo? OMG I can’t imagine a worse fate” would possibly be amusing if the cruelty displayed toward gays weren’t so tragic.

I didn’t say every man is like this but homophobia is such a prevalent undercurrent in our current society that I can accurately say most.

For the record, I have absolutely no problem with fathers kissing sons on the lips. I am not sexist, and I don’t find it weird at all. In fact, I kiss my four year old son on the lips every day. I just wanted to know what your views were, because I know that some people think that fathers shouldn’t show that much affection and other things like that.

(by the way, if someone can tell me how to “edit” the question, that’d be great so I could add this little blurb in).

@markdylan I’m glad you show that affection for your son! There is no need to edit your question (and no way to after a very short window of time right after you’ve asked it)... everyone who has answered here will be notified that there is new activity, and will see your last answer. Welcome to Fluther, BTW. :)

I’m her glad to hear that also. I wasn’t necessarily assuming that you were or were not homophobic but unfortunately it is still so prevalent.

And I’m sure there would be (not here with Flutherites but society in general) some who would recoil in distaste. And it’s a shame in this day and age that so many of them exist.

I find no issue with this ‘practice’ ...my husband and I both kiss our sons on their lips…quick pecks…they’re 3 years and 7 months…we’ll see how long it lasts, but it’s nothing I ponder about

@MissAusten we don’t think a parent kissing their child is sexual, in our families lip kissing is for people you are sexual with, there is a BIG difference. We understand that some families do this and it is just normal for them I agree that the child should be able to say no if they are uncomfortable with it, with parents and other relatives. I don’t like forced kissing or touching, even if it is with well intentioned relatives, children should know they have control over who touches their bodies. Most young children love sharing affection with their parents, I think that is a good thing.

@DominicX and @JLeslie , I see the distinction you are making. I hadn’t thought of it that way. I think there is a sort of time gap, typically, between the time in a child’s life when it’s OK to kiss Mom or Dad on the lips, and the time when the child is old enough to view that sort of kiss in another manner. My daughter, who is ten, gets and gives kisses on the cheek. She (hopefully) has a few years before she starts kissing anyone else and by that time may not even remember that she used to give us kisses on the lips. I’m sure the same thing will happen with our boys. :( In fact, it wasn’t until another recent question here about parents kissing kids on the lips that I realized my daughter had outgrown that. It just sort of happened without any (apparently) conscious decision on any of our parts.

As for forced kissing or even hugging, I am totally against that. My husband’s entire family is very affectionate and always willing to give out the hugs when saying hello or goodbye. If one of the kids isn’t willing to hug someone, I wouldn’t push the issue at all. I think it’s very important for kids to know that they have a say in what they are physically comfortable with.

@augustlan so your child just started kissing you on the lips? I’m just asking because that doesn’t happen in my family. I would have guessed, total guess, that either the parent was kissing the child initially, or the child is mimicking adults. Not that they were compelled to kiss their dad on the lips, but rather want to be like the grown ups. But, then someone wrote above that their child might choose the lips because daddy’s beard is rough, I had not thought of that. In my family we hugged each other, not much kissing of children except hello and good bye on the cheek, but even that was rare for young children.

I think it’s ok, and my son used to do it, but it made me uncomfortable, and gradually we’ve moved our kissing to other parts of the face. For whatever reason, I reserve kissing on the lips for women. Although I will consider it for males I love, such as my son. So there you go. Daloon has some hangups! ;-)

@augustlan @MissAusten I mistakenly put @augustlan on the post just above should be @MissAusten.

@JLeslie I couldn’t honestly tell you who initiated it. It’s not something I’ve ever thought about until these questions came up on Fluther. And it was me who said the kids don’t like to kiss my husband’s stubbly cheeks! There are a lot of things we do with small children that we’d never do with an older child. I’ll still kiss my 4 year old on his belly, but I’d never do that to my 10 year old daughter.

@MissAusten I can see how it would happen, how you would not be sure where it started. I agree that with very young children many things are different than with older children. I just have this feeling I would be uncomfortable like Daloon and try to change the behavior.

Depends on the cultural background. I don’t think it would be appropriate in public/semi-public.

yes. I don’t think a peck or brief kiss is wrong. I think a father and two sons can give each other a preck or at least a brief kiss on the lips and it not be immoral. I wish I could see a real life dad and his two grown or teen sons kiss all three like that.