Do boys like girls to whine so they feel they can be the man in the relationship?

Real men don’t need reassurance that they are the man in the relationship

Don’t get in too much of a habit. Once you find a boyfriend who has a little more self-confidence, you’re going to have to break it.

I don’t like whiny girls. It looks to me like your man has some inadequacy issues; he shouldn’t need to take care of you to feel like a man. Either that’s something he needs to work on, or you need to consider why you’re attracted to someone who needs to be reassured that he is a man.

Kick him in the balls. That will remind him he’s a man.

When you are available again, give me a call. Ok, just kidding, I’m taken. Since I could never imagine wanting a partner to be more whiny, I’m truly confused by the request.

I have always gotten the impression that guys like girls who are independent but still need to feel protected…oxymoron isn’t it? lol No, I think he shouldn’t feel like you are too “cold” just because you don’t go crying to him every time something goes wrong. Do you ever let him know if you’ve just had a bad day and need to vent?

Personally, I think not being a whiny chic is a very attractive and strong trait to have and I wouldn’t be ashamed of it. Your boyfriend may not feel like he’s masculine enough and is afraid you’re going to give it away…

Um… If you’re not whiny naturally, I don’t suggest becoming whiny. Why? Because a) that wouldn’t be being true to yourself and b) if he needs you to whine to feel like a “man”, he has major issues that he needs to work on. You aren’t the problem, his issues are. When people are in a relationship, it isn’t about who can take care of who. Relationships shouldn’t resemble some kind of parent-child role. They’re about being there for each other and respecting each other as human beings. You shouldn’t have to feel like some feeble, helpless creature that needs to be taken care of.

So, what you say edit what he says is that girls are whining creatures?
Never noticed that.
Really, i can not see whining being the opposite of being cold and hard.
No offense, but the way i read it, it sounds more like you boyfriend is a bit afraid of you being secure and confident, and rather wants you to be/act more dependent of him.
Or am i totally wrong here?

@SheWasAll_ – Sweet Jesus, that was good. Lurve.

What a strange request. If a guy said that to me, I’d assume that he felt threatened by my independence, and I’d run as far away from him as I could.

He is retarded. He dosent know what he’s asking for.

I can’t remember a guy asking his girlfriend to be whinier ever. Something wrong, better DTMFA.

I agree with @SheWasAll_ there is nothing manly about your boyfriend if he needs you to change so he can feel like a man.

Yeah, it is a strange request isn’t it? It all came about when I wasn’t feeling well on Friday. All I said to him was, “Hmm…I’m not feeling too good and don’t have an appetite. Not sure what it is…maybe it’s just a bug that will pass”.... The next day, he acted all distant and all with me and when we talked about it, he told me it was because I was being cold and “professional” and not being fully expressed with him about my not feeling well. We even reenacted that “scene” because I wanted to understand what he was talking about and he basically said, I should have whined about it, something like “Urgh….I feel awful and don’t want to eat. Can we just leave so I can get well? etc etc etc” (I can’t even act it out to be honest, since that is so not me. I never whine.) So he can say “Oh honey, that’s ok. We’ll leave and we’ll get you something to make you fell better, etc etc”....When we reenacted it, he said I was so bad at it that I’ll need to be 5x more whiny so I’ll end up being halfway whiny.

As I’m writing this, I can’t help laughing. It’s so melodramatic. I love my boyfriend very much but this request is making me question if I’m crazy for being in love with a boy who wants me to be whiny.

to add to my posting…my boyfriend tries to “take care” of me sometimes, I appreciate the thought until he does it for too long and starts complaining about “having to be my father”...I wonder if your boyfriend has thought about needing to take care of someone all the time

@profe55ional – Uh. Too weird for words. I get that he want to take care of you, but that is so very strange. Maybe just ignore it for the time being, and if he ever says anything like that again, tell him you’re not being “professional”, whining just isn’t your way. If he has a problem with that, adios.

Oh and to answer MerMaidBlu’s question, my boyfriend said the times when I’m most self-expressed is about 3–4 months ago when I was having work issues and vented to him the entire time. He liked that! Hmmm….I never really thought back to it and connected the dots.

I think he doesn’t realize how lucky he is that you AREN’T whiny. Most girls are. I’m whiny. I don’t mean to be, really, but I can be at times, and even I know it’s annoying. I think you should ignore his request and tell him to cook you dinner.

@deni great advice! i will have him cook me dinner and give me a foot massage! :-)

Thanks @DrasticDreamer!

Men like to feel needed. I’m guessing by him asking you to be more whiney, he really wants you to need him more or be more emotional.

Drink Beer

Dump this loser, lol. I’ve never wanted a whiny mate and I don’t deal with drama. I’ve cut many friends out of my life, because I got fed up with all the drama. I’m now drama free, alone, but drama free. There’s nothing more annoying than stupid games. Be real and tell him to get real.

Um, that’s really odd. If he’s a real man he doesn’t need to change you to take care of you. I’d call this a big red flag!!!

sounds like your boytoy has daddy issues.

He is trying to maintain a “hegemonic masculinity”. This type of masculinity requires an obsequious woman for him to care for. It’s insulting. You be who you want to be and if he is not secure enough to deal with that…it’s his loss.

Weird. Totally sounds like he wants you to “need” him. By whiny, I think he is actually saying he wants you to be a little more needy. But why would any man want a woman like that? Most men hate it! Don’t change your habits. I think any other man would appreciate a self sufficient, confident woman. Maybe you should give me some tips! Maybe you could just assure him that why you value his concerns, if you really needed some help or advice, you would come to him. I dunno…sounds totally insecure.

I’m wondering why you would be wondering what “boys” want when you have already been told what your “boy” wants and that should be enough. Do you care about him and what he wants or are you looking for someone else?

Being more dependent on him does not equal being whiney. Maybe he just wants you to consider his feelings more. It sounds like the two of you need to be more open with each other about what you really need.

@SheWasAll_ epic. Even though im a guy myself, that was fantastic. I chuckled out loud.

as for the question, do not start whining. if he needs reassurances as lame as wanting you to whine for him…... what @SheWasAll_ said.

So you whine a little he feels big and strong what’s the big deal.

@mponochie Good Answer

Some guys probably like it, many probably do not. Everybody has their own tastes. I don’t understand all the judgementalism going on here, nor do I understand the suggestion of, and apparent approval of, violence and the intentional infliction of pain as a response.

Whine? Nope. I do like to be the hero, and save the damzel in distress. But I’d prefer if she calmly explains her problem and I try to find a solution.

Scary

No I like it when they squeak though.

Girls in my school often whine or do something similar to grab a lot of attention and/or start a scene.

I find it quite annoying.

@profe55ional How does your boyfriend behave at night with you? Manly or not? ;) Just kidding

nobody likes to listen to whining