How to deal with a person that harms themselves?

Cutting is a symptom of a deeper problem, usually control issues.
This is something in their lives they can control.

If you want to stop the cutting, you have to address the issues that lead the person to cutting.
Statistically, self abusers have a higher suicide rate so that’s something to keep in mind.

She sounds like a cutter. Cutters are not suicidal generally.
They use pain as a way of dealing with pent up emotion.

Google cutters to learn more.

edit: Glad @pdworkin, our resident psych major is here

In the short term you can suggest rubber bands or ice as alternatives to cutting. In the long term I suggest competent Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, if they wish to change.

This comes under the heading of secrets that can’t be kept. You must tell her parents or tell your parents opf a school counselor and have them tell her parents. When someone is a danger to themselves it is beyond a secret.

Her telling you is really a cry for help. This problem requires professional intervention.

Please tell someone. Your friend will not be angry at you in the end.

I agree with Marina. Unless you happen to be this person’s psychological counselor, you need to tell someone. It might be best to tell people such as your own parents or a school counselor so that you don’t get placed in the middle. But her parents need to know that she is having a problem coping with something. Now, if it is something her parents are doing to her that they shouldn’t, you can tell Social Services. By law they cannot tell anyone who reported it.

Your friend needs help. Even if you risk her friendship for you, your friendship for her should drive you to help her.

You are doing the right thing by seeking advice from other sources. If you don’t find what you need here on Fluther, check out the How To suggestions at this link.

Please, if you don’t tell someone about it, at least urge her to do so.

@pdworkin CBT has a high success rate with self-harm.

@avvooooooo DBT is just a variant. There is nothing wrong with either, but DB therapists are more heavily trained to deal with these particular issues which can be features of Borderline Personality Disorder, which is Marsha Linnehan’s specialty, and she is the founder of the DBT school.

EFT is another alternative to self harm that has a proven success rate.

Boost self-confidence.

EFT is a scam with no proven anything. It says as much in the very article quoted above.

@YARNLADY EFT is a crock. A complete and total bunch of bullshit. Anyone promoting that in a professional sense who takes people’s money should be arrested and sued for running a scam.

@pdworkin Self-harm can have a lot in common with OCD in many cases. Straight CBT is effective with both. Borderline types harm for different reasons than others who harm.

I used the free “How to” article as my source for learning the EFT concept, and it works for me and many of my friends as an aid in changing our behavior

@YARNLADY I don’t know what you’re doing. Whatever it is, it doesn’t change the fact that EFT, not to be confused with Emotionally Focused Therapy which is the legitimate EFT, is crap. Pure, unadulterated, unsubstantiated crap.

Your friend needs professional help for her behaviors. Caring about a destructive person is okay but you don’t have the tools to help and most likely will be emotionally drained and hurt by this person, they’ll put their destruction before your care and concern.

Thanks for all your answers, sadly this person ended up in the hospital today. And now has professional help.

Well, at least now she will get help. Hope she is willing to avail herself of it.

Hey @Damn_Tony, you did well. Hang in there.