Would you rather entertain or be entertained as a guest?

Entertaining is fun but you have the clean up to deal with after.
Being entertained is fun but parties where you know very few people can be awkward.
I think it’s a wash with both having a lot of upside with a little downside.

I actually love throwing parties, they are very nerve-wracking though. I know when we had our sons second birthday, I got flustered right before the guests came…mainly over not having ranch dressing. Silly things like that seem major at the time.
I enjoy being a guest, because it means it’s not my place getting messy and I don’t have hours of cleanup to do.

I like the feeling you get when you know you throw a good party, people enjoying themselves because of what you’ve done.

This is not an original idea, but I vote for the local version of the British pub. You are neither the guest nor the host but get to hang out with people you like.

I love to cook for folks who love to eat. I am not as crazy about cleaning the kitchen afterward, but since I can’t afford the appropriate minions, I do it anyway.

I like both. On one hand, I’m more comfortable in my own home. I know where things are, I plan on what I want to serve, etc. Then on the other hand, It’s nice to go, too. No messes to clean up later. But the main thing is just being with friends & family. I don’t care where it is.

I like to entertain, but my wife and I have different ideas about what is necessary. I think it’s enough to get people together, and maybe have some good food. She thinks we have to clean the house, get out the best china, light the candles and generally freak out. So we entertain occasionally.

I also like to be entertained. Yet again, my wife doesn’t seem to enjoy it. She doesn’t like to go to parties or events. It’s probably a bit too much of a production for her. She’s also a bit less social than I am. I like telling stories and joking and making music and all the rest. She seems to feel abandoned when I’m mixing with the guests.

So we do one regular thing out of the house where we meet friends, and then entertain one family regularly, and our own families occasionally, and that’s about it. We were invited to a party this last weekend, but didn’t go. People have stopped inviting us, I think. Probably because we almost never go.

One of the things that is good about being crazy is that I now have a support group for crazy people, and a good excuse for getting out at least once every two weeks. I think it’s good to socialize, and I enjoy it. I wish we could do more of it. Entertain or be entertained—I don’t care.

I prefer to be entertained.
I get stressed out even thinking about all of the variables that come with hosting an event. All those things to account for.

I like both. I have come to the point that when I entertain I like to have a “waitperson” there to help, so I can be with my guests more, depending on what type of party it is and how big it is.

I’m so glad “neither” is a choice. I hate having to force the awkwardness that often comes with entertaining and being entertained. But with the right guests/hosts, I’d love it :)

“Neither” is always a choice, @Facade. Here was my answer over in the other place, where the questioner said she just loved to entertain:
____

Entertaining stresses me out to the point that my husband and I end up snapping at each other right up until the doorbell rings. It’s gotten better in recent years, but probably mostly because we don’t do it as much. I get terrible cases of performance anxiety beforehand, even though the event itself always turns out fine.

Being a guest usually makes me feel awkward and uncomfortable, as if I can’t quite get the host’s good intentions and mine to match up. I have never gotten used to the California style of entertainment, where everyone brings something and kind of pitches in and the host has to manage every occasion as a potluck. Where I come from, the host provides the event and supplies the refreshments, and the guests are guests. You don’t try to combine the roles. In their turn the guests become hosts on their own terms, and then it’s their show. You don’t have to constantly make room on your table for someone’s unwanted salad or pie, or figure out how to help the host be a host by assuming hosting roles and attitudes when you’re the guest. Nor do I want people to march into my kitchen and start doing things. I like having a clear set of expectations for different roles and not trying to turn everything into a communal service.

If I had to do one or the other, I guess I’d prefer to entertain, but not because I like it, just because then I’m in charge.

Sorry, now you’ll never want to come to my house, I know, though I do try hard to be as gracious and accommodating as possible and I do knock myself out just like you to make it as nice an occasion as I can, taking care with every detail and yet trying to make everything feel comfortable and easy. (The more thoroughly I have prepared, the more I can relax when the time comes.) I just kind of wish people would stay home and let me do the same. I’d rather meet friends for dinner out than pretend that home entertaining and enjoying myself have anything in common.

@Jeruba: Check out the PM to you.———->

@Jeruba – After receiving your message I thought I’d try out this community. And after reading your askville comment again here, I once again nod in solidarity!

Welcome, @mirador! I was hoping you would do just that. This is a very warm, hospitable place with a broad range of ages, styles, temperaments, and attitudes, an interesting mix, and extremely well moderated. If you have any questions or run into a problem, there is plenty of help available.

Folks, this is the nice woman from Michigan that I mentioned in my question.

I would totaly like to be the host, I like to cook, and take care of people. As a guest I sometimes feel uncomfortable.

I think I prefer to be entertained. While I do get a great thrill out of preparing for a party, through out it I find I don’t enjoy myself as much, it often feels like work. You want to make sure each of your guest is comfortable, enjoying themselves that everyone has plenty to eat and drink. You often miss out on conversations you would like to be a part of because you are stuck introducing or getting some needed item. When you go to a party you simply need to bring a gift and get in where you fit in…that’s my definition for a good time.

Hmm. I prefer to host. I don’t mind cleaning up after, and I like being a “connector” sort of person, circulating, making sure people are meeting each other and enjoying themselves.

”Ah! John, this is A Sniveling Little Rat-Faced Git. Git, John Stokes.”

Interesting question. I think generally I prefer to be the host. I guess I have a weird paranoia that I’m going to impose or something when I’m the guest. In grad school most of us don’t have the time or patience to cook, so when I have some friends over for dinner it has a real warm, homey, familial feel to it. I like being able to provide that for people.

That would depend on who’s entertaining, however, in most cases I prefer to host. Having tended bar for some years, I find it nice to be in charge of such details as music, food, beverage, and ambiance.

I prefer to be the guest unless I am hosting for very close family and friends. I am not a great cook to start with so I can’t host dinner parties well and I get very easily stressed so arranging something in order to please everyone invited is not my idea of a good time.

@peedub! Haven’t seen you in ages! Welcome back.

Ideally, I choose “neither.” If I had to pick, though, I’m better at entertaining than I am at being entertained. Even when I’m honestly having a good time, I have trouble looking and acting like it, and I hate disappointing people who think I’m not enjoying myself.

@Jeruba- Hii!!

I enjoy to be the host, indulge and entertain my guests.