You never said it after all these years, but what is it about your spouse you cannot stand?

she reverts to high school behavior and pops her chewing gum. she doesn’t realize it, but i do. i let it go for a while and then i finally have to say, “uh, you’re popping that gum.”

I actually did tell him this weekend because I couldn’t take it anymore. It seems that he is always turned toward me in bed, heavily breathing his raunchy morning breath into my face. I mean, I think he only lies on the one side of his body! Roll on your stomach or something, honey! He does have allergies, so I understand that he is a mouth-breather hahaha… but it’s just so annoying when it’s all up in my grill the whole night long!

I refuse to complain about the man I haven’t seen in six months.

@ubersiren: Why not change sides?

@gailcalled : I’ve been thinking about it lately. We went away for Labor Day weekend and we slept on opposite sides than our norm, and it worked out much better. But he would be giving up the outlet to plug in all his many gadgets and I’d be giving up more ample floor space. :o) We’ll see.

@ubersiren: My SO definitely already knows this, but I have the opposite problem. I’m super-needy in some ways, and I can’t stand for him to be turned away from me in the bed. It just drives me nuts. I know it’s not fair that I always want to be the little spoon, and for him to hold me, and I never want to hold him, but I just go crazy when his back is to me. We have a very large bed, and sometimes I actually do get up and like back down on the other side of him. I know I’m a huge weirdo.

why do i always have to sleep in the wet spot?

@charliecompany34 : Hahaha… I have that problem too :( I’m in an emoticon kind of mood.

@ubersiren: Buy him a surge protector with 8 outlets and a three-pronged extension cord.

she sleeps butt naked and it just doesn’t happen. major turn-on for me, but she’s just being comfortable. major aggravation.

lol

@charliecompany34: Is there a difference between “butt naked” and “naked”?

He refuses to brush his teeth before bed! Why? No clue, but when I walk in the room there is this glowing green cloud that permeates everything! He does the snuff stuff, so it makes it really potent! Sometimes he’ll rinse with Listerine, but that’s like spraying the bathroom with flower scented air freshener after a wild poo!

@ShanEnri Unbrushed teeth and snuff? That would be a deal-breaker for me.

He breaths heavily into the phone when he’s talking on it. I don’t know if it’s how he holds it or what but it sounds like a perv prank call half the time. It drives me nuts! And I hate the way he chews his food…makes my skin crawl.

Hmm, after twenty years of marriage, and knowing her almost thirty years altogether, I could list half a dozen things, but they would sound petty. The worst one is someone tells her something important, and instead of writing it down, she chooses to remember it. But then, she never does. Her memory is as bad as mine, but I always have a pen and paper with me at all times.

The rest of them, eh, I can live with them.

@evelyns_pet_zebra You gotta remember why you married them in the first place and let the little stuff go, right? That’s what I tell myself when he’s chewing and breathing hard! :)

The only thing I can say is that I wish my husband would try to exercise. I know he can’t do much, but he is only losing what little strength he has by just sitting. I hope dialysis will eventually make him feel better enough that he will at least try.

There are other things that used to bother me but I have adapted. Or developed blind spots. Whichever.

@gailcalled: “butt naked” is a more emphatic variant. Also, (plain) naked could be ambiguous: some might say “I saw her naked” when the person was actually wearing underwear, because she was mostly naked. “Butt naked” emphasizes that the person is not mostly naked, but, in fact, completely naked, to the point of being able to see their butt. :P

Butt naked is more naked than just plain naked, and a whole bunch more naked than nude.

@Darwin You do learn to deal with the things that drive you crazy. My husband is the slowest person in the world. I’ve always said that if we are going somewhere, I wait until he is getting ready to put his shoes on and I will still be showered, dressed, fixed up and and totally ready to walk out the door before he has his second shoe on! Over the years I’ve learned to deal with it and kind of find it amusing sometimes now.

@knitfroggy great response.

@Darwin we’ve always said buck naked, and its always made me wonder what a male deer has to do with a lack of clothing.

@evelyns_pet_zebra – Supposedly folks either substituted the word “buck” for “butt” so they wouldn’t offend polite society, or they were referring to buck skin, which is completely stripped of fur as part of the tanning process. In any case, here is a nice little musing on degrees of nudity.

@Darwin: LOL! I kind of think “buck naked” is older than “butt naked”. Dictionary.com has an entry for “buck naked” and none for “butt naked”. But that’s not conclusive.

I’ve said it before. It’s her taste in men.

She’s one of the smartest people I know (law school graduate, speaks three languages), but around new people she giggles and stammers like a goober.

Her social insecurity undermines her intelligence and wit – and then she wonders why she isn’t taken seriously.

Leaving the cabinet doors open. Only half close all the jars and bottles. Leaving trash in the sink or 6 inches away from the trash can. Dropping coins all over the apartment and don’t pick them up. Leaving dirty socks rolled up on the futon.

@Darwin thanks, for the link, hun.

“hun?”

@charliecompany34 Be glad you HAVE a wet spot! ;-)

My complaints are petty, but here they are. He won’t scoot the chair back up to the table after he gets up. That drives me crazy!!! And after he takes a shower, he folds the towel in half & drapes it over the washer. It doesn’t dry that way! We have a horizontal pole in the utility room to hang things on, but he won’t do it. GRRRRR

The winner, or loser, is still the unbrushing snuff chewer.

“Naked” says it all, like “pregnant” or “unique.”

“Nude” could be considered an artistic term. Teachers of life-drawing will often ask for models willing to pose in the nude.

aim. for. the toilet. the part where the water is. or just sit down. I won’t call you femmy

That once he has a plan, he won’t deviate.

He is reluctant to discuss options and do some planning before a trip.

Otherwise he is perfect.

Leaving his tea bags on counters, tables, behind lamps. Sitting in the bathroom to “read” for an hour. Sweating while he sleeps, the pillow cases need to be washed daily. Saying he’ll do things tomorrow, and tomorrow never seems to come. Wearing T-Shirts with holes in the armpits.

@jamielynn2328 my mother-in-law refers to my husband as, “being in the library,” when he goes to the bathroom.

@jbfletcherfan: LOL! to the wet spot comment… I will paraphrase that to tell you ALL to be glad that you have a S.O. to complain about!

Well, obviously I can stand it because we’re still together, but I hate that she leaves her wallet license, credit cards and all in her car, all the time, and then never has it when she needs it. Ahhh!!!

@tinyfaery out on the seat for people to see?

@JLeslie Usually in her middle storage compartment, but if her car is stolen or broken into the hassle would be even greater if they had her wallet and all.

Oh. I do that. Lol. I could be mugged and my wallet would be gone also.

@jamielynn2328 The sweating during the night…I solved that problem by putting a hand towel between the pillow & the pillow case. That way the pillow itself doesn’t get all yuck & it absorbs the sweat. It works great.

My partner has selective hearing AND a poor memory. Drives me nuts.

He often does really precious considerate things but unfortunately things I didn’t want him to do. It’s difficult to tell someone off for doing something “nice” for you.

For instance, when I take a shower in the morning I sometimes leave my special pajamas on the floor. Then in the evening when I go to put them on, they are no longer there. I look EVERYWHERE for them… cursing and carrying on saying “I left them on the floor, right there, are you sure you didn’t move them!?” and he says “No, I would remember if I did that”.

After like 45 minutes of desperate searching, I give up and wear the scratchy, gross backup, uncomfortable pajamas. Then the next morning when I put some laundry on… guess what is in the washing machine…. MY PAJAMAS!!!

Argh… grrrrrrrrrrrr.

And that’s what really grinds my gears LOL

@Rachienz: His hearing may not be entirely selective… I am an Audiologist, and it is common for couples to come in to have one or both have a hearing test to determine if there is an actual loss or not. If there is a loss in the family or if he has been around noise (even if it was years ago), he may have some loss of hearing. Can’t hurt to have him tested for a “baseline”.

@hearkat – Hmmm that is an interesting point! Don’t know though, his hearing seems to be better than mine in relation to audio levels. I think it is more distraction than hearing.

For example, he will be at the computer literally a few metres from me and I will be talking to him and he will nod and agree and feign interest. Then, like 10 minutes later, I will confirm that I will do this or that as discussed and suddenly “Oh wait, what? Oh why are you doing that? Oh sorry, I didn’t hear you”.

@Rachienz: I often have to counsel patients and their families to make sure that you get someone’s attention before you start speaking to them. We are so often multitasking that if someone else starts talking, we don’t know if they’re addressing us, or on the phone, or talking to the cat, etc.

LOL @hearkat – I think I will try this approach out. When wanting to discuss something with him, actually sitting down and making time to talk about it instead of talking away while he is preoccupied.

Funny you should mention this because last night I actually noticed that he often doesn’t listen to me when his attention is somewhere else (I know I know, seems pretty obvious doesn’t it) but I suppose I have taken for granted that he may not be able to place his attention on a multitude of tasks simultaneously as easily as I do. I will be cooking, talking to him AND ease dropping on friends in the lounge having a separate conversation with ease. Potentially I forget that it may be more difficult for him.

@Rachienz – If it helps any, there are scientific studies that have proven that women are better at multitasking than are men. And this excerpt discusses some of the reasons why women seem to get more out of a smaller brain than do men out of their larger one.

So when you say “I have taken for granted that he may not be able to place his attention on a multitude of tasks simultaneously as easily as I do.” you have discovered what science has proven, that Men Never Remember and Women Never Forget the title of a book by by Marianne J. Legato, MD, FACP and Laura Tucker

Tracks leaves in on his tail, brings dead rodents in the house, sheds a lot, oh..wait…you mean a human partner?

The ex snored like a chainsaw, was obnoxiously & selectively hard of hearing, extremely passive aggressive , arrogant know it all type.
The cat pooped on his pillow once and actually peed on him in bed too, it was an omen!

Got rid of him, kept the cat! lol

@Coloma: Ach. That was my solution also. Don’t forget the lovely morning breath and the ability to substitute himself for an 11lb. bar bell when I think about bench pressing.