Would you turn someone in if you could not remain anonymous?

Heck, I’ll do it for you! That is so dangerous that he is still driving!!

I think anonymity makes people feel safe in their actions. You can report to CPS anonymous, and as many times as you’d like. People take it to their advantage though, and I think it’s a shame that people abuse certain things like that.

Can you get a friend to fill the form out? I mean, it’s just a simple form right?

Personally I wouldn’t. It sounds like a big family headache that will land you in a pile of poo with them. It might save his life, but if it does, you’ll never know. It’s a tough question.

Ask your father what happens if your grandfather kills other people. It seems irresponsible to let him (grandpops) career around the highways. And it will annoy but not kill him.

My mother at 94 is surrounded with people who have given up their cars. They are all cheerful and worry more about arthritis and memory loss.

Are you volunteering to drive him where he needs to go?

It definitely sounds like a really tough decision. Despite complicated family stinks, it still sounds like it would not only be safer for him but also for anyone else on the road that he might end up on collision course with! Is there anyone in your family who would back you up if you did go through with filling out the form? Just to say that you aren’t the only one who has noticed a significant impairment in his driving and judgment while doing so!

If not, is there a way you can kind of- avoid having him drive very much? Like if he wants to head out, offer to drive him out of goodwill? Would anyone else in your family cooperate with you on that?

Ahah. And I post just after these two. XD

I would try to find some other way to do it anonymously!

If he is that unsafe a driver as you think, and i agree someone at that age should not be driving. i would say bite the bullet and do it. If his children won’t do what they should, then just do it. Even if there is “hell to pay”. thats just not safe.

I’m looking at this from the ‘old guy still driving’ POV. I’ll probably be there in 20 years. Giving up my driving would just about kill me, but crashing into and killing someone else would be the worst thing ever.

I’d take the bull by the horns, discuss it with him, and if he doesn’t stop, or his family doesn’t stop, then you have to do something. Who wants to sit by and wait until Grandpa kills someone?

I would do it, if he ends up killing someone else or himself any headache this would cause will seem minor.

A couple of other ideas:

Maybe try some sort of driving intervention with other people who feel the same way.

Or get a friend to do it for you, maybe even someone off craigslist (JK).

Fortunately each of my parents decided on their own that it was time to stop driving, even though when they went to swap out their licenses for state id cards the clerk insisted on renewing their licenses. Fortunately, my Dad reinforced his decision by giving away his car.

However, they live in a building where there are scheduled runs to doctors, stores, and so on, and a car with a driver for those times and places outside the scheduled runs. Also, he remembers that the only way my grandfather stopped driving was when his insurance dropped him so there was no money to make his car drivable again. Fortunately, all of his accidents were non-injury accidents.

I suggest you sit down and talk to your grandfather about your concerns. If he worries about how he will get places you would need some concrete suggestions for him. For example, in our town you can register with the bus system for a bus that will actually drive you door to door. Yes, it takes longer than hopping into your own car, but it is safer than driving. Sometimes you can find a taxi driver who is willing to offer a reduced rate for constant service, or perhaps you could offer to drive him at times.

Perhaps you could even talk him into allaying your fears by being willing to undergo a retest willingly. Although your grandfather might not be one of them, there are some folks in their 90’s who are indeed sharp enough to drive, but there are others who shouldn’t be anywhere near a driver’s seat.

Good luck! It is much better to be proactive than to wait until someone is injured or killed.

What a bad situation to be in. Not only do you have to worry about granddad’s safety but everyone else on the roads as well. I think you should fill out the form. Everyone else seems to be in denial or something. I personally would fill so guilty if something happened and granddad hurt someone or hurt himself.

Mail me the form. They might wonder why someone in Georgia is having a problem with his driving, but hey… Not you! ;)

Or just put someone else’s name on it. Unless they ask for ID, it shouldn’t be a problem.

If they take away his license. it might kill him. If they don’t take away his licence he might kill others. If he is in an accident where others die, that might kill him too

Just because your name is on a form doesn’t mean it becomes public knowledge. Do you think if Grandpa is called in for testing that the family will be so outraged that they will demand to see his file? Or will they just be happy to push the responsibility on the DMV? If he fails the test would they be likely to appeal? Of course not!

My grandfather claimed he would die if he couldn’t drive. He eventually did die, but it was 12 years later and as a result of a broken hip that he got in the house.

If he’s that dangerous of a driver, it could be more dangerous to let him drive than to tell him he can’t drive, not to mention the danger he poses to others.

There’s an easy way to resolve this. If he can pass a driver’s test, then he’s good to go.
If he’s not fit to drive, someone needs to be the responsible one before tragedy strikes.

I think sometimes we have a bigger duty than familial harmony. This is one of those times. Have the talk with him, and if he won’t give it up voluntarily, report him. You’re a strong woman, Super, and I know you can handle it!

You’re not having his license taken away, you’re having him take a test. If he can pass the test, then he has nothing to worry about, and if he can’t then you have all the vindication you need to tell them all to suck it. I’d call up the people who you think SHOULD be doing this but won’t, tell them what your concerns are, and tell them that as much as you love your grandfather, you’re afraid he’s going to kill someone. Tell them that maybe your fears are unfounded, and if so, he should be able to pass a driver’s test, so you are going to fill out a form that will force him to take one. Say you’re sorry if they feel this is meddling, but you feel that no one else will do this and you won’t be able to live with your conscience if he kills someone. Say that if his license doesn’t get taken away, no harm, no foul, at least you have peace of mind, and if it DOES, then as far as you’re concerned, you were right to do this and you only hope they can be mature enough to realize this as well. Then while you’re on the cell phone and they try to get you to reconsider, drop the fucking envelope in the mailbox and say, too late, it’s done.

We went through this with my grandfather who was turning the wrong way down divided highways and other fun things. He would not give up his license and no one would turn him in. I’m already the odd child out and wasn’t as familiar with the situation as some others, but I was just about ready to do something similar to what you are thinking. My parents would say, “oh, he’s just driving down to the store these days.” Well, there are kids in our neighborhood on the way to the store! He can’t see.

Anyway, my parents called in an organization that has visual aids to help make daily tasks easier. When they realized he would need 12x magnification to even see the television and they had no products that would help him write out checks, etc. THEY turned him in because they are legally obligated to do so. Solved the problem for us and Grandpa is still alive and kickin’ several years later.

I don’t know if this is something that might work for you or not – does he have vision problems or his he just not a safe driver? If he has vision problems, contact his eye doctor. The doctor can’t tell you anything, but you can tell him things and he can be the bad guy to refer your grandpa for a test.

Another solution is to find a high-schooler with a car who could schedule outings and errands with your grandfather. It is certainly not the same as having wheels, but obviously much safer. Does your grandfather have any friends he could share outings with?

When I broke my dominant wrist, I had a teen-ager drive me around several times a week for two months. While I was at PT, he did my marketing; it was quite enjoyable.